Daughter broke up with boyfriend and I'm the one depressed!

[hunsi]

I googled how to get over a daughters break up and found this site! Thank you for all your posts ! Glad to know I'm not the only one upset !! My daughter who is 19 just broke up with her boyfriend (who I love) of 3 years!! I can't believe how devastated I am! I can't stop crying !! I love him and think she is making a huge mistake and I find myself angry with her! She said she feel out of love with him and she is already talking to another boy ! Her ex is so upset and I feel so bad for him! I keep checking his twitter posts and it's killing me .. They are so sad ! My husband thinks it's sad but doesn't understand why I'm so upset. I honestly thought I was crazy ! Glad to know I'm not the only one! Thanks ladies ! I'm trying to snap out of it and don't know how !

 

[connie1966]

I understand exactly how you feel and you have a long way to ho before you will snap out of it trust me! It took me months to stop being angry at my daughter i still have underlying resentment but im trying to be supportive and i pretend everythings fine , that poor kid not only did she leave him shes already talking to soneone else that must be killing him! I hope he doesnt know

 

[hunsi]

Thanks for responding . I
Just broke out in tears because I feel my daughter is being very insensitive to her ex. She just posted a pic on FB of her and another guy in a car (that she says is only a friend) and I texted her and asked her to take the picture down because it will hurt her exs feelings and he is already in pain. She says her ex and I are not giving her space . We've always been close and I feel like my resentment to her us pushing her away and it is hurting me even more. My husband things I am over reacting !! Ah... I just wish this was a dream and I would wake up and be they way it was before!!

 

[connie1966]

Again i know exactly what ypur feeling thankfully my daughter didnt post and such pics i would gave lost it on her.. My daughter and i were very close and this did affect it until now, were better but not what we useto be, she has a new boyfriend and i have no interest in that at all she feels it even though i try to pretend were back to normal , i know your hurting for him i still am i dreamt of him actually my daughter was hurt he was cleaning her wound and she kissed his head looked at me and started crying, its crazy he loved her so much he was amazing , i do beleive she will regret it some day but its their life their lessons to be learned, you need to step back dont get involved even though it kills you, just tell her once and nicely what if the roles were reversed and he did that to you? Tell her you say you dont love him but at least respect him enough not to post pictures and be more discreet. Your not over reacting you love him like a mom abd hurt for him , its been almost 16 months and im still missing him so much , its a loss for us and losing someone you love is hard , he lived with us so i miss seeing him everyday,talking to me cooking for him making him cookies watching movies together seeing him play guitar laufhing etc.. People dont get it how can i just unlove him its impossible he will be in my heart forever , but losing it on my daughter didnt help didnt change the facts it is what it is even though its so hard to accept! So dont ruin your relationship with her just give her advice and hope for the best ,he will be fine he will move on and he will love and be lived again thats for sure, but right now he will suffer he will hurt for a while and its part of life

did u read my post where i posted what my x son in law wrote as advice about breakups to a friend??

 

[wyoDreamer]

A newbie here...
I googled "daughter breaking up with boyfriend" and found myself here reading all this wisdom and feeling less alone.
My situation is far different, but still painful.
My daughter is 13 and her boyfriend is 13 as well. Some of you might be laughing already or shaking your heads...but this is a bit different...
My girl is nerdy and chunky and she's an amazing writer and brilliant student. Last January 2014, she started dating her boyfriend. One day it just blossomed. She liked him and didn't tell her and then he liked her but didn't tell her then suddenly WHAM. They are a couple. Unlike a lot of middle school romances, this one is different because of the people involved. He lost his dad when he was young. He's very very cute. He is sincere and polite and caring and adoring. He's called my daughter beautiful and let her sleep on his shoulder when she was tired after a dance. He's smart and funny. He also has ADHD and his step further just violently assaulted his mom and now they're going through a divorce.
My daughter in her infinite wisdom feels suddenly embarrassed by some of his quirks she never minded. Additionally, she thinks she might be interested in girls now....a whole other issue...anyway, for 10 months we've been caring for this boy...And I can't tell you how well he's fit into our weird family. Like a missing piece. It's such a bad time to end things...And he just said last week he planned to date our girl through high school...at least. My husband and I would love that. However, I'm coming to terms with my daughter's choice to let him go as a boyfriend....but again, I just can't help but feel like the timing is so tough...I asked my daughter to wait a month...see if she changed her mind....at first she agreed but now she's losing her patience. I don't want him hurt, I feel like he's an amazing boy for her. No kissing...He's so respectful...just so many incredible qualities I feel like she's missing because she's young. I don't even know where I'm going with this except that I feel like I'm missing sometime I care about and I know they are soooo young...but it's still one of those things that really makes me sad. Thank you for having a place where I felt like I could share.

I take from this that you are very worried about this boy and all he is going through at the moment. Do you have the option of reaching out to a mother of this boy and letting her know how concerned you are about him. Or maybe the councilor at his school.
Breaking up at 13 doesn't mean that they cannot date in high school.

 

[fjg4733]

I found this site by googling daughter broke up with bf and Im sad. My daughter and her boyfriend are almost 17 and have been together since 8th grade. She broke it off with him yesterday out of the blue and at our house. I could hear him sobbing from downstairs. We were going to take him home but his parents came to get him. When he was leaving he had all his stuff that he had left here over the years and he saw us and hugged us and started crying so hard and said" I dont want to leave! I dont know why she did this ! You have been better than my own parents! Please dont make me go!"

It has destroyed me. This boy had a horrible home life and I know what hes going back to. He was such a sweetheart and like a son to me and my husband.He loved my daughter like Ive never seen someone love anyone. Wore his heart on his sleeve. I have cried more for him than I did when I was dumped as a young girl. I feel totally unreasonable and I cant stop. He has texted me last night and today and my heart is just broken. Hes just destroyed. My daughter went on to have dinner watch netflix and go to bed. No emotion except that she was upset that we werent feeling bad for her! I lit into her. I had to. I asked her how she could be so cold as to break up with him here in our home where he has to sit and cry alone in your room then walk out like hes dirt with all his belongings. She just said she wasnt happy anymore.

I need to get over this because it is effecting my relationship with my daughter but I loved him so much and had told him I did and he had told us many times he loved us too.She wanted us to love him and it tool my husband over a year to like him because of that whole Dont touch my daughter things and then he wound up loving him like a son too. He has spent holidays and vacations with us. She has been with him through deaths in his family. They were so bonded and close. I cant wrap my head around her not only breaking up with him but the cruelty in the way she did it. She said she didnt think and it was an awful way to do it. But too little too late. He didnt go to school today. I feel like Im in mourning and other people are telling me to get over it. My husband cried yesterday when he was hugging us and today. Ive seen my husband cry once in our 18 year marriage. I am always going to want to be in his life but I know its not going to happen. My house feels emptier already. How am I going to get past this?

 

[hunsi]

I am feeling exactly the same feelings you are! My daughter broke up with her boyfriend of almost 3 years and I am taking it harder then her!! I'm depressed and crying and she is fine!! I feel so bad for her ex and I'm angry with her and can't believe how heartless she is acting! I feel exactly how you feel! It's so horrible !!!

 

[Beer can]

Before we finaly had our boy we had four girls. When it was just girls I told a guy at work it didn't bother me, I would just adopt their boyfriends when they get older. He said NO! Don't make friends with the boyfriends, everytime one of his daughters brought home a boy he liked and made freinds with they dumped them. He said they ended up marrying idiots he can't stand.

 

[luvmyduckys48]

I feel like I have just lost a loved one, I am so sad and upset and can't stop crying. My 14 year old daughter just broke up with her 16 year old boyfriend of a year and a half. She is hurting and feels like she has lost her best friend, he told her everything, about stepdad, moms bad choices, and never wanted anything from my daughter but love and he respected her totally. He has had such a hard emotional life with parents breaking up, nasty stepdad, abuse, a mother that left him for 6 months with his older sister for RCMP training, found a new boyfriend and played house without telling anyone she quit training. Seems like the mom always put her son as second choice in his lifetime so far. Now moved 800 km away they have had to endure long distance relationship. She works for airline so as I saw it put a bandaid on the situation by letting them fly to see each other. I knew in my heart it wouldn't last, my daughter needs her boyfriend close. His dad and stepmom are adopting a baby and his 40 something mom just got pregnant. Its second place for this kid again and now had his heart ripped out by my daughter because she says she can't do it anymore and feels horrible for hurting him. And here I am in the middle of the night crying my eyes out mourning for this perfect broken young man. Looking at his Facebook pics of them together and the young love in their eyes made me break down. I told my daughter I support her decision to do whats best for her, but I blame his mom for always being so selfish, always leaving him behind to on training for work, where she met new boyfriend and ripped her sons life apart by moving across the country. I haven't cried like this in years and am so sad, I think I am hurting because I love this boy and the thought of him hurting breaks my heart. I hope I can pull it together.

 

[connie1966]

So sad ..poor baby boy, yes its your heart of a mother that hurts for him, its heartbreaking knowing the person you love is in pain trust me i know the feeling it killed me , all i can tell you is take it day by day.