DD, How To Do Both?

[herfrds]

Was getting some stuff done yesterday and DD was hanging around. She's 9.
She got to talking about my GM and asking what we did together when I was younger. That brought back a great store of wonderful memories. So I told her about the things we did.
Her eyes just lit up thinking about those things.
I asked her if she thought about doing those things with my mom.
Nope.
Why not?
She left without telling me good bye at the fair.

Looks like that bridge is burned.

How can I be both parent and grandparent to my kids?

 

[sfw2]

I don't think you have to do both, now. Just be the best parent you can to your DD. Then, when she has kids of her own, you can be the best grandparent you can for them!

 

[PineappleMama]

Meh, I did way more things and have way more GOOD memories with my grands and great grands than I do with either parent... every single situation is different though. My Sis and Bro didn't do near as much with Mom's parents OR with their Dad's either... Sis is a nutjob/addict, Bro is a hardworking honorable guy. ... Guess maybe I'm an honorable nutjob. So, there ya go. No two people are exactly alike, even twins!, thus no two relationships are going to be exactly alike.

You can try, mention things, etc but forcing it won't help and might hurt. You can bug ol' Opportunity into knocking but you can't force DD or GM into answering the door... lead a horse to water... etc. There's a reason those cliches exist, because they're true.

If she showed interest in a particular event/activity then give it a go yourself (if you know the stuff, not everyone rides bulls)... she might love it and develop a lifelong passion for it (thanks to you) or she might not like it at all... but either way you tried and that's what she'll remember.