Dear Ralphie's Relationship advice............

Dear Ralphie,
How do I get rid of a person that wants to be my friend?
I deliver eggs to a semi blind guy. He keeps wanting me to take him around town. He claims no one will help him. However, I have found his son, brother, bil, sisters and church members trying to help him. He says no one will take him to the store, but he has juice made 5 days earlier. He has food his sister made a few days earlier, but says his sister wouldn't help him... Oh and he doesn't like what she cooks. His son got senior services to come in and he said it wasn't enough and told them to forget it. He keeps trying to manipulate everyone and nothing anyone does is good enough. I think he wants attention.
I thought I had gotten rid of him when he asked to borrow money for a few days to pay back his son. He hadn't even asked the son for money yet. He wanted to be able to tell his son when he could pay the son back. Way to convoluted and I told him he was manipulating. He got po and told me to forget it.... That was a month ago and now he is calling and asking me to take him to a fast food restaurant. I told him no... I am about to feed all the eggs to the animals and tell him I don't have any eggs.
I have told him I am a hermit, don't eat out and don't care for shopping. I have told him he is manipulating and it seems like nothing anyone does is good enough. I have quit answering when he calls but he will call every hour for days if I don't answer. I tried the blocking feature on the phone and it's not blocking any numbers.
 
Dear Ralphie,
My husband and I are celebrating our 37th anniversary today. In honor of this day, we are going to Menard’s to buy lumber to build a smoker, to smoke the salmon we caught this summer when he dragged me up to Alaska. Do you think this is an appropriate way to spend our evening? (The nearest Menard’s is 1 1/2 hours away, so we will also have quality time while driving.)

Happy anniversary, no matter how you spend it, 37 years is a long time!
 
Dear Ralphie,
My husband and I are celebrating our 37th anniversary today. In honor of this day, we are going to Menard’s to buy lumber to build a smoker, to smoke the salmon we caught this summer when he dragged me up to Alaska. Do you think this is an appropriate way to spend our evening? (The nearest Menard’s is 1 1/2 hours away, so we will also have quality time while driving.)


Sounds like the perfect 37th to me. I suggest you splurge on the trip and stop at an A&W on the way there and a Dairy Queen on the way home.

Also this should help keep him from looking longingly at the lumber on the way home, which could make you jealous over a pile of boards.
 
Dear Ralphie,
How do I get rid of a person that wants to be my friend?
I deliver eggs to a semi blind guy. He keeps wanting me to take him around town. He claims no one will help him. However, I have found his son, brother, bil, sisters and church members trying to help him. He says no one will take him to the store, but he has juice made 5 days earlier. He has food his sister made a few days earlier, but says his sister wouldn't help him... Oh and he doesn't like what she cooks. His son got senior services to come in and he said it wasn't enough and told them to forget it. He keeps trying to manipulate everyone and nothing anyone does is good enough. I think he wants attention.
I thought I had gotten rid of him when he asked to borrow money for a few days to pay back his son. He hadn't even asked the son for money yet. He wanted to be able to tell his son when he could pay the son back. Way to convoluted and I told him he was manipulating. He got po and told me to forget it.... That was a month ago and now he is calling and asking me to take him to a fast food restaurant. I told him no... I am about to feed all the eggs to the animals and tell him I don't have any eggs.
I have told him I am a hermit, don't eat out and don't care for shopping. I have told him he is manipulating and it seems like nothing anyone does is good enough. I have quit answering when he calls but he will call every hour for days if I don't answer. I tried the blocking feature on the phone and it's not blocking any numbers.


I am afraid I cannot answer this as the only answer I see involves a criminal act.

I worry if you did not dig the hole deep enough or in a remote enough spot I would be implicated as an accessory before the fact. I am far too good looking to go to prison for life...

Good luck and I hope you don’t get caught.
 
I am afraid I cannot answer this as the only answer I see involves a criminal act.

I worry if you did not dig the hole deep enough or in a remote enough spot I would be implicated as an accessory before the fact. I am far too good looking to go to prison for life...

Good luck and I hope you don’t get caught.
:gig
 
Dear Ralphie,
How do I convince a non-receptive person that a house duck is a good idea? If you don't have any suggestions there, then I'd like some tips on how to bury 6' x 2' objects discreetly....
Sincerely,
Loves-ducks-more-than-men
 
Dear Ralphie,
How do I convince a non-receptive person that a house duck is a good idea? If you don't have any suggestions there, then I'd like some tips on how to bury 6' x 2' objects discreetly....
Sincerely,
Loves-ducks-more-than-men


A house dux is never A good idea....

The trick to bury a 6x2 object is to drill a hole 2 ft round and 10 ft deep.... then put a fence post on top of the 6 ft object. The FBI is looking for a horizontal area.... standing it vertically confuses them!!
 
A house dux is never A good idea....

The trick to bury a 6x2 object is to drill a hole 2 ft round and 10 ft deep.... then put a fence post on top of the 6 ft object. The FBI is looking for a horizontal area.... standing it vertically confuses them!!
Brilliant... sounds fail-proof. Thanks!!
 

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