decided to cull

[AHappychick]

I hope this is the right section for this:


I am struggling with what I have diagnosed as mareks in a new group of birds I acquired. One bird who I am sure has it is struggling and although I have tried everything including force feeding I just cant anymore. Others have a sneezing problem and the first one to start sneezing is dropping a wing now. All intervention I have given does not seem to be helping. I spent a sleepless night going over all culling posts and videos I have done it once before and try to talk about it frankly so that I may somehow force myself to be ok with it all but am STRUGGLING.

I just always see their little faces and get really sad. there are a few times I have thought I would cull the really sick bird but then did not after I looked into its eyes. Why is this so hard???? This is nature right? I want to be self sufficient right, this is part of that and I need to get over it, but how!!! Any motivational comments would be helpful as I know I am going to procrastinate for a few hours while I muster up the courage.

I am afraid for my flock that share the same air space but completely separate coops, and although I will never make that mistake again what is done is done. I am willing to accept my responsibility for this whole mess but just feel so bad for the birds.

I dont drink but am thinking a glass of wine might calm my nerves (the problem being that more than a glass will make me blitzed so I have to be really careful to just have a few sips)

I had planned to do my processing with my SO but broke up with him on V-day so that is not going to happen.

I guess my question is for the birds that still seem healthy (not sneezing or anything) can I process them to eat? The others I will just cull and dispose of, but I would like to try to keep this from being both an emotional loss and a financial one.

I know this may sound harsh and there are many people who would keep trying to save them but I just cant handle it all with all of my other responsibilities and with the risk of it spreading to all the others and loosing the whole flock.

I am going to have my sister take my ds and then I will do it. I just need to summon the strength to do it and that's where I am having a hard time.

I would also like to thank all the BYC members who posted processing info because that has helped a lot.

Sorry for the long babble....

 

[whatsup chickenbutt]

Im in the same position, I totally understand. But, beyond feeling bad for taking the life, Im so afraid of doing it wrong and causing it more pain. I would most prefer to snap the neck, but I cant even imagine the horror of not doing it right. Ive got a sick one that needs to be culled. Havent done it yet. Just wanted to say Im right there with you.

 

[AHappychick]

wow isn't this a lousy place to be.

Anyway its done I culled all but the pure silkie pair and one young hen. I am moving them to an outside coop I put together quickly (it is predator proof) and will be keeping them outside far away from all of my other birds for at least the next few months. In a bit I am going to sterilize the coop they were in which should not be to hard since it had a cement floor under the litter which of course I will toss.

I am going to use a combo of 8 oz of vinegar and 6 oz of bleach per gallon of water to sterilize the whole thing. The healthy ones will not go to waste and will be eaten although probably a few months from now.

anyway got so much left to do.

good luck whatsup chickenbutt

 

[nzpouter]

how did you diagnosed them as marek?

 

[redhen]

wow! you are so brave!

i respect you so much for doing this yourself!..

 

[vicegrip]

I feel your pain I’m going threw the same feelings but only one chick. Thank you for your input on my post (Ill chick) this morning.

 

[AHappychick]

I diagnosed it because it was partially paralized and one iris was mishapen and would not retract, the corners of the eye were greyish too. It seemed to be the only disease that fit what I was thinking.

Oh and no I am not brave, I cried and will probably not sleep tonight and take one of the pills my dr gave me after my dh passed.

I messed up some of the smaller ones to and had to skin one, and just make brests out of another. I did not save all the parts either just the bodies, for time reasons and because I just wanted to get it over with although by the time they just looked like naked headless chickens it was not as bad. I have butchered plenty of things like venison (but dont hunt that part I am not ready for) and all and have absolutly NO problem with fishing (I do it all then) But this was different. My friend who does hunt called me afterwards (go figure!) and offered to help me with my extra roos next time and the meaties, I am hoping with someone else there I wont retract into myself as much and just see it as a job.

oh edited to say I also just finished spraying it all down and mopping everywhere in the garage I walked and the bottom of the coop, all the carriers ect. I hope I got it all. I even bought lysol (have not owned that in 5 years but cant find an all natural alternative) and did all the brooms and my boots, and everything else I could think of. I hope I stopped it.

In addition all my other chooks are on a high vitamin diet for added strength just in case.