developmently delayed 6 year old... suggestions please

[mom'sfolly]

To me it sounds a lot like busy work. At that age a kid shouldn't have more that 10-15 minutes of homework, plus reading. Some teachers don't realize how much time it takes if they are new to the job. It may also be that testing wise it is a "math year". My fourth grader spends a lot of time on writing, because here in Texas, fourth grade is writing TAKS time. It is a must pass year.

Talk to the teacher, find out what is going on.

 

[chics in the sun]

Quote:
It's like Hamburgers but Asp instead of ham. Think snake. HAHAHA!!! Aspies are all soooo danged different. This child needs a therapist that works with Aspies to determine her level of all things she can handle and what things she can't handle now, but could with therapy. It IS possible for an Aspie to have a full and normal life.

That is actually a common misconseption. Aspergers is Aspergers, and Autism is Autism. Aspergers affects more of the social/ communication skills, while Autism is sensory and intellectual. They are currently considering removing Asppergers from the "Autism spectrum disorder" section of the Diagnostic Manual when it is revised.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Okay, I am going to slightly disagree with just about everyone here.

First, you need to ask the teacher why she has so much homework. It could be that she is not finishing class work, or is even not starting it so that she can spend class time working on something else (which could be anything from real work to goofing off). I believe that chances are pretty high that the teacher has no idea it is taking so long for her to complete her homework. It is also possible that your daughter is avoiding writing assignments because she feels like they are too hard, or possibly that they don't matter.

If she has reading assignments, I would not worry about letter recognition unless you see a lack of mastery in deciphering the words and understanding what she is reading.

I agree with Writer of Words that you need to follow the chain, but think that the initial concern you need to express to the teacher is not her assignments, but rather your daughter's classroom work, participation and behavior. Find out what is going on there, and then filter in the concerns for what you are seeing at home.

One of the things you need to find out is how the teacher organizes the school day and/or week. How much time do they spend on each subject, when during the day, the policy about unfinished work, whether all work is graded (in my opinion, if work is not graded, it is busywork, and not worth doing), grading policies, homework policies, discipline policies, seating arrangement (can make a big difference for some kids).

You probably need to spend some time observing the class; several visits on different days at different time. Once you have a fuller understanding of the entire situation, you can more specifically address the concerns over what you see at home.

 

[shadowpaints]

Quote:
thanks!

 

[kburen]

I can speak from a teachers perspective....I taught Kindergarten for a year. We were done with "letters" before the end of the year in Kindergarten. There was NO letters done in 1st grade at all...by then they were reading and working on more sight words (they did basic sight words in Kindergarten and could read small beginer books before they left me). I do think it sounds like a lot of homework for a 1st grader. But, part of the criteria for passing Kindergarten was being able to write their letters. If she couldn't do that, (and was in a regular ed classroom) she wouldn't have passed my Kindergarten class to make it to 1st grade.

 

[dandelionheart]

Quote:
Not always... Ethan (my 6 yr old) has Autism with a speech delay. He has a high IQ but is non-verbal. Asperger's doesn't have a speech delay. We have family members that have Asperger's and there *is* a difference... I'd say within the next 10 years they will come out with more variations of Autism (not just "on the spectrum" which covers Aspies, atypical Autism, PDD, and even more who don't really seem to fit into a standard diagnosis). And from previews of the DSM V - Asperger's is under the Autism spectrum, high functioning Autism can be just as mainstream-able (if not more so) than standard Aspies. BUT individuals are individuals. If you know one person with Asperger's or even "atypical Autism" you know just one person with that... so many variations, abilities, growth areas, and strengths. Biggest thing? Don't put them in a box with their diagnosis!

That said... I think two hours of homework for a regular kid with no special needs is too much, what the heck is going on? You count supper in there and you have practically no family or play time - which is INCREDIBLY important to school success.

 

[ams3651]

My son is developmentally delayed due to mild mental retardation as a result of prematurity, also ADHD. He is 8 and in second grade, half time in special education and half time in regular ed. Im glad to see you understand you can request a modification to the IEP at any time. My son doesnt bring homework at all. Its all taken care of in class with assistance from the teacher and aids. Have you consulted a medical specialist? My son sees a NeuroDevelopmental Pediatrician once a year and he certainly helps by way of agreeing or disagreeing with the IEP and working with the school. There should also be an outside agency who could help you with understanding everything and helping you know what programs are available and what the schools responsibilities are. Maybe things are a little harder then the teachers realize and your child might need a little more help. The school is required to get you the help you need. Im not sure what the rules are in your state but you may want to look it up. Hope things get better for both of you.

 

[M@M@2four]

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What does her IEP state? First of all, as a elementary teacher, that is a RIDICULOUS amount of math homework. Children should only do 10 minutes of homework per grade level, so first grade should be 10 minutes, 2nd grade, twenty, etc. She should only be getting one page a night of math. If the teacher wants to keep giving the class 3 pages of math homework a night, then fine, she can, but if your daughter has an IEP, she should be getting 1/4-1/2 amount of homework given. Secondly, at the next IEP meeting you need to state to them that she lacking with her written letters and words and needs more practice. Ask if they can have a specialist take her maybe 2-3 times a week to just focus on her written work, her fine motor coordination, etc. When you come prepared with all of these requests, they MUST hear you out and try and help her to be as successful as possible. Let them use every resource available!!! Good luck!

 

[Mahonri]

Our 10 year old son is extremely delayed/retarded. Lack of oxygen during birth... I begged them to do a c-section at 5AM and they didn't get around to it until 1PM.

We are so frustrated that we've just given up and decided that he will just live with us for the rest of his life and his older brothers #1 and #3 have committed to care for him once DW and I are taking our dirt naps.

If we were considered "poor" we'd be getting tons of help.

Sad I know.

 

[bburn]

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My daughter is 25 and special needs and lives in independent living. (my qualifications)

Don't wait until the next IEP meeting. Hit the door of the school and keep hitting it. They HAVE to help her learn in the least restrictive enviroment. Stop at the principals office on the way to the teacher. Tell him what is going on and ask if that is to be expected. Let them know you are very unhappy. Make loud noises and continue for the next 10 years. It is the only way. Sitting back and worrying will get you no where. And NO they will not do the right thing.

I don't have a bad attitude I have been through it. In second grade the teacher told me she did not have time to work with 'all these kids with special needs'. I told her I did not care as long as mine was taken care of. Poor her. She had six special need kids in her class room for part of the day and could not handle it. I went straight to the office and pulled my daughter out of public school. She had been gluing beans on paper for three years. All they could say to me was that I needed to up her dose of meds for ADD.....turns out she had a seizure disorder and not ADD after all. I home schooled her and worked two jobs as a single mother for two years. Found a tutor that helped me and helped find a school for the DD.....what an amazing place.

My real point here is you KNOW that the work she is being asked to do is too much for her.....way too much homework. You also KNOW that other things are being pushed aside. Go to the source and get to the bottom of it. You don't have to wait on an IEP meeting.....EVER. You have the right to question what is going on with all the homework. You have the right to question why other things are not being addressed.

There are many really good teachers out there. My parents were teachers. I believed in the system. I no longer do. If there is someone out of the norm then things have to be adjusted to meet that persons needs.
You don't have to do it all yourself at home. Imagine the kids who's parents don't get involved. Question all the things you are concerned about. If you are doing this much at home you have the right to find out what is being done at school.

There are many rewards for you as the parent of a DD child. Sometimes they are not clear. Educate yourself on what your childs rights are because she has them. Do not wait. Every year in school for your child is a chance for her to grow and be a productive adult.

My daughter rocks! There was nothing easy about raising her. There was nothing easy for her about growing up. But the last few years I can see what a great adult she has become and I could not be prouder!!

Your child needs you to find out what her rights are and you need to fight when you know things are not right.

Gosh, I can remember like it was yesterday my daughter being six.....where do the years go? Oh, and you don't have to hold her back, they just have to give her the help she needs to be successful!