Did I do this? We have become dependent on DH!

[wildorchid053]

i am sure the stress is making him not think straight and he can't deal with the changes right now.. wait till he has a job and is settled then bring it up again.. i am sure it is just the pressure on him.. don't take it to heart.. it will all fall into place when the time is right..

 

[Germaine_11.20]

Perhaps figure out where you can make cut backs. Groceries, clothes, heating. Getting better education is never bad.

The DH may be feeling like he can't support you the way he would like and sometimes men react strongly when they feel insecure.

 

[BarkerChickens]

Quote:
That I agree with completely! That is probably the biggest issue that he is feeling.

 

[The Chicken Lady]

Quote:
Ditto

My thoughts exactly. He is probably feeling in a low spot as the "breadwinner"...like what rustyswoman said, too. Guys' self-esteem seems to balance on that image a lot of the time since it's the one that our society tells them they should have.

You're just going to need to talk about it and be open with each other in order to learn what's going on.

 

[redhen]

I'm sorry. I would GO to that class if you want to. You have to be able to survive if (god forbid) something happens to him...
noone would ever, EVER, tell me no, when it comes to bettering myself. I would NOT ask his opinion again..just sign up for the class..and any others that you can get up the money for to take.
you should've kicked him in his leg when he swore at ya too! Just saying...

ETA...being stressed is no reason to swear and yell at your spouse...never a reason/EXCUSE for that. IMO

 

[Elite Silkies]

Quote:

Well said...............

 

[WriterofWords]

It's hard on some men to find out they need help supporting the family. Go to your class, you need the update, he will come around and if he doesn't then deal with that later and worry about being able to support your family now. Don't get caught in a situation where you'll be saying "If only I had done that we'd be ok".

 

[lengel]

Thank you everyone. We did not have a good day. I'm not ready to discuss this with him yet. Unfortunately, this is the way that he tends to respond to stress generally, just not usually so abruptly and irrationally. The problem is that he's not the only one under stress so I'm always the levelheaded one and it's exhausting. We can't afford this behavior right now. I don't know who can. We have two months before the site shuts down and he gets paid a few weeks and unused vacation so we're looking at well into April. I have shown him how solid our finances are repeatedly so the class is not a big deal. It's just not making an impression.

I hate being talked to like that. It will take me a couple of days to recover.

 

[SOchick]

Take the class. He is stressed and so are you, so neither of you may want to talk soon, and you should go ahead and sign up for it before it is too late and you miss your chance.

 

[Elayne]

Stress does really strange things. I would be inclined to think that while not saying outloud, his pride by way of his ability to provide is being hammered. I know it sounds strange but think like a caveman... stroke his hair and gently tell him you really wanted to take the class to make yourself feel better since you have all the faith in the world that he will be on top of things soon, and that by improving your education and upgrading your job status, you could contribute to making his life easier... Gently and loving to tame the wild beast... Good luck