Did I over react ? *ranting alittle*

[Christie Loves Silkies]

My Mum went behind my back and sold one of my roosters, she didn't tell me about it at all.
the "buyer" of this rooster came today I don't want to sell my rooster just yet, I took forever "trying" to catch him so the people would leave.

The rooster they are wanting to buy is very agressive, and I over heard that they have kids.
I don't want the rooster to attack the kids, I'd be feeling very guilty.

This rooster was my first ever chicken, I don't want to let him go.
My Mum just stod there smiling and laughing about it, I was in tears she didn't care that I was crying nor how it would make me feel.
Before she went back inside I started screaming/yelling at her...

I want to talk to her about how she made me feel, but I don't know how, I've never been able to talk to her about anything...

Adivce on how I could talk to her about it would be great.

Thank you.

 

[Fierlin1182]

Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear about this Christie.

My mother and I have had plenty of fights and disagreements. Talk to her when you're calmer, try to catch her at a time like dinner cooking when she can't "run away". (e.g. If my mum is watching TV and I try to talk to her about something deep, she can easily move into another room and avoid me

)

I understand about it being your first rooster, and you not wanting him to hurt anyone. perhaps you could even talk to the buyer, tell them about his temperament, maybe that would discourage them from buying.

Good luck

 

[Christie Loves Silkies]

She never listens to me at all about anything.
Its like I can't trust her...

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Oh very sorry to hear this!
But who is paying for/feeding these chickens??
Annnnd if you yell at your mother about the chickens... well, you shouldnt be allowed to have any chickens...

I can imagine that this hurt you... but yelling at mom is NOT the way to make her listen to you ..

 

[BrattishTaz]

I was not there so I will not pass judgement as to who was right and who was wrong on this situation. I am a mom of two teenagers though so I will tell you this.....

The quickest way to get me to tune you out is to throw a tantrum. It is very hard to view your child as a young adult when she is whining, yelling, and/or crying because she is angry. I find it very sad that you feel there is no communication between the two of you. All I can suggest is that you try to approach her in a calm manner and tell her how you are feeling. Make a list of important "points" in you have a hard time staying on track. Try to really listen to her reasoning (this is the hard part) without getting over emotional. It is ok to admit that she has a good point even if it means that you will not get your way.

Tread carefully because in the end, she gets to have final say. You will enjoy that privilege once you move out and run your household.

Good luck.

 

[Christie Loves Silkies]

Well, I let my mum have her way.
As much as I hate letting things go I did it.
Its gonna suck not having him around but the buyer told me that his going out to a farm and his going to have his own chooks.


I guess its hard to let go a year off memories.
But I'll never forget him.

 

[redhen]

Oh i see, you "let" your mum have her way..huh??

 

[frostbite]

Sometimes when we don't get what we want, it's hard to remember the good things in our lives.

Maybe your mom didn't tell you because she didn't want to deal with the reaction it might elicit.

The way to have a better relationship with your mom is to apologize for yelling at her, thank her for the ways she makes your life better, for giving you birth and life, (I can tell you that's NOT easy!), for keeping you safe, for making food for you to eat, for giving you a place to lay your head at night, your clothes, etc. Think about the good things and thank her for them.

Then, give her a hug, shed a little tear, and tell her you miss your rooster. Maybe if you're calmer she'll explain why it was necessary to sell it. Maybe SHE can't deal with an aggressive roo.

Now if you are an older young woman, of legal age to make your own decisions, your other option is to move out, get a job, find a place to live where you are allowed to have chickens, and see if you can buy your roo back.

Remember too, chickens don't have a very long life span. Be grateful for the time you DID have with him, and that you have a long life ahead of you to raise more and more wonderful chickens.

Us parents love you children dearly, forever, and usually we try to make decisions based on what's best for you and for the family. Our years of experience sometimes give us better information for these decisions. There are lots of times my kids wanted to do something and I had to tell them 'NO', but because I usually had a good reason, they didn't fight me much on it. Once your mom thinks you are receptive, she may be more willing to discuss these things.

I know all this sounds hard, like you're having to do all the work, but good relationships are never 50/50; you have to put in 100%, and the other person does as well. And the truth is, the only person in the world whose feelings you can take responsibility for, whose behavior you can take responsibility for, and whose integrity you can develop, is YOU.

Good luck to you, may your relationship with your mom get better, and your future be filled with amazing animals!

 

[Christie Loves Silkies]

Quote:
If its what she wants.

If you love something you will set it free.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
If its what she wants.

If you love something you will set it free.

And if it doesnt come back.. hunt it down and kill it...