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This is indeed a regrettable situation that you find yourself in. Answering your last inquiry on whether you did anything to provoke his comments...
It apparently goes without saying that this guy isn't the laidback neighbor type that chuckles when your kids' ball hits the side of his house or brings you a mess of tomatoes over or a mess of turnips already washed. The guy is definitely not an ambassador of goodwill. I'm sure he was abused as a child (isn't that the normal defense?
).
What he said initially was brash and crude with little diplomacy about it, but some people are like that. A problem comes up when there are two people with similar personalities like that on opposite sides of a fence. Yelp, sorry to say it, but your initial reply reflected back to him some of what he first sent your way. He spit on your side of the fence, you spat back on his side. It can be like a couple of kids playing tug of war over a toy truck in a sandbox...one kid ends up with a "I did something wrong" look on his face and the other one ends up bawling his eyes out....but with adults the end results can be much more miserable...and much longer lived.
I would quit communicating with him via email, I mean, the two of you are next door neighbors! Do you both have telephones? I would set up a face to face meeting at a neutral place and go to it with the desire of somehow working this out...and not with a comptemptuous attitude. You might point out to him that many large estate owners in the past and present days take pride in their flocks, showing them to many visitors of importance. As long as your yard is kept clean and neat it should not bother anything and will only help your chickens. I would work on the flea problem as that can be a serious issue...for you, your neighbor, your dog, your chicken,...
You are probably the only one that can defuse the situation. You can call animal control, the sheriff, ghostbusters, etc., about the threats but the best they could do is fine him, lock him up, talk to him, blah, blah, blah...but, he'll be back or never go anywhere and he'll have that much more of a grudge against you and yours.
Ya'll live beside him and will live beside him probably for years to come. Do you constantly want a feud going on? That's no way to live and not a good environment in which to raise kids. Somewhere it's gotta stop and the sooner the better. It is going to take "your side of the fence" taking the initiative and probably putting the most energy into reaching an amiable relationship. What he said was crude and ugly, but your response was basically telling him that you could care less about him or his either.
At this point, it doesn't matter what "he said" or "she said"...what matters is at what point ya'll are at now and how to correct the hard feelings that exist. It is a snowball that's growing...better start thawing it out somehow.
Sincerely sending best wishes,
Ed
