- Feb 10, 2008
- 369
- 1
- 139
I receicved this through another list that I'm on and thought I would send a little humor your way.
Dieting can be exciting
Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Walmart for my dogs Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus. I was about to check out, when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Did she think that I had an elephant?
Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time.
On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every oriface of my body and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no - I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!
WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
Dieting can be exciting
Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Walmart for my dogs Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus. I was about to check out, when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Did she think that I had an elephant?
Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time.
On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every oriface of my body and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no - I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!
WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.