Difficult horse decision *UPDATE*

In my book shed be gone. I don't put up with rearing-way too dangerous and hard to break-though I've seen some people have some success with breaking an egg over their head when they do it.
 
Do not get rid of her, you made the choice to bring her home, she did not choose you. You need to get to the bottom of the issues she is having. You REALLY need to find a good trainer. One that uses the natural horsemanship rules. To help you along it correcting the issues at hand.

Does you husband use his hands to punish her? Did you think that she is not enjoying her workout? How does her bit fit her? Is she allowed to have 24/7 turn out? There are alot of little things you need to rule out before you through in the towel.
 
Thanks for all your responses. I don't feel nearly as bad about wanting her gone now. Luckily we don't have a feed bill, so there isn't the concern of the expense of keeping her, but at the same time we don't want to breed her. She'd make a fine broodmare, that's probably what her best job in life would be, but there are enough horses in the world already. And I don't want another just like its mother!!

I do have an old horse, my father in law got him for me after it became apparent that the mare was a work in progress. He's great, he's only had one bad day when I tried to go out riding alone at feeding time (bad idea I now know!). He is 20+ and wind broke though.

Not sure whether this is helpful in figuring out whether Lucy's behaviour is a physical problem or mental, but she is an absolute witch with food around other horses. She tries to attack them through the fence even if they're in another pen eating their own hay. When we first got her she was very pushy on the ground and would literally walk over the top of people. We cured her of that pretty quick, my FIL made me a little pointy stick to carry
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She'd also shove her butt in your face to scratch.
 
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I'm sorry but there's a point when it's just too bad if she doesn't enjoy working. Her job isn't to stand around and eat. She doesn't like being ridden in the arena, doesn't like working cattle in the pasture or the arena, doesn't like trail riding... the list just goes on.

She has an 800 acre pasture to run in. We don't keep her penned because it makes her behave even worse, even though she can be rotten to catch. She's been ridden in a hackamore, a halter, an eggbutt snaffle, a sidepull with and without a bit, even one of Chris Cox's nifty fixed D-rings.
 
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I'm sorry but there's a point when it's just too bad if she doesn't enjoy working. Her job isn't to stand around and eat. She doesn't like being ridden in the arena, doesn't like working cattle in the pasture or the arena, doesn't like trail riding... the list just goes on.

She has an 800 acre pasture to run in. We don't keep her penned because it makes her behave even worse, even though she can be rotten to catch. She's been ridden in a hackamore, a halter, an eggbutt snaffle, a sidepull with and without a bit, even one of Chris Cox's nifty fixed D-rings.

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There is an absolute difference in owning a pet and owning a working animal. If the animal was obtained to do a job, it needs to do the job. I have little tolerance for animals that serve no purpose.
 
I understand that the horse has a purpose. So does mine. But you brought her home and you at least owe it to the horse to find out what the problems are and if they can be worked out. It would not hurt to try to find a trainer to help. And after that she is still not workable then I have no problem parting with the horse.
 
Like another poster stated - in your gut you didn't like her immediately. There are too many good horses out there. It's not worth injury to you or your husband. Your life shouldn't be miserable. Trainers are expensive and not all horses are 'happy.' Using her for a brood mare, or selling her to some young cowpolk sounds like the way to go.
 
If that had been apparent at the time, obviously we would not have bought her. We tried her out on a very windy day in a slippery muddy pen, so could not do too much with her, and that was a huge mistake on our part. Probably worked out great for the seller! She was too far away to realistically go and see more than once.

She is quiet as long as you don't ask her to do something that she doesn't want to do. Problem is, what she does and doesn't want to do changes from one day to the next, often one hour to the next. She is definitely a mare! My husband thinks her biggest problem is that she'd never been expected to do much, and now she resents being asked to work.
 
Well, several folks have indicated that this could very well be a medical issue - I wonder the same thing. Have you had her looked at by a vet? It would be great to find out that it's something "fixable."

ETA: She also could just not trust humans; IMO, poking her with a sharp stick isn't a good way to teach her anything. They learn from positive reinforcement best. I had a mare that was quite neglected by her former owner; she really had no reason to trust humans. I'd put her in my round pen, go in and set down on a bucket for HOURS at a time, just sitting there. Finally, after many days, she came up to me on her own, and I offered her treats. It was a long process, but by the end of that first summer, she knew her name, wouldn't pin her ears, and stopped biting (yep, she was pretty nasty when we first got her). I never even attempted to get on her until we got to the point where she could trust me on the ground. Now, 6 years later, she's absolutely the sweetest horse I've ever had!!

Good luck, regardless of what you decide!
 
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