Difficult horse decision *UPDATE*

[FrChuckW]

I would definitely have a Vet check her over thoroughly first. There may be a physical reason for her behavior that may preclude her from being a riding horse, but as someone else stated, if she has good bloodlines she might be a good prospect as a broodmare.

If there is no physical reason for this behavior, then it is mental, and it will take some work to cure her of bad habits. This kind of behavior is usually the result of rough handling and poor training early on. She has come to learn that bad behavior will result in being left alone.

I would suggest getting some professional help in training her all over again. Marty Robbins aka the Horse Whisperer, has an excellent book on dealing with problem horses.

Just my .02 worth.

 

[chickenpiedpiper]

I have to say, regardless of the horses 'reasons' ( physical or mental, emotional) You did not get the horse you are in need of, and it is absolutely OK to say, I want a different horse! It is not up to you at this stage of the game to have to figure out what is upsetting the horse. You have an agenda of your own, pass her on to someone who is ready to work with her, You are looking for a teacher, not a boxing coach! When you are more relaxed, and have the experiences under your belt, you can look at the next head tosser, and wonder about the saddle, or neck pain, right now, your safety is more of the issue, not to mention the horses safety! There is a reason 'getting back on the horse' is an expression for doing something difficult! Dont let yourself get taken there! I did everything in my power to make sure my students (and myself) never hit the ground or were scared to that point until they were good enuff that they probably wouldnt hit the ground! That means choosing your mounts carefully!

In my opinion, the first problem is that you bought a MARE. (sorry, they drive me nuts!) Just like in any chicken coop, or ANY social structure for that matter, there is a drive in SOME animals to be the lead animal. I have found it is stronger in some mares than others. The whole 'I dont want to leave the house area' ride, and the anxiety colic she had when your hubby made her go, are pretty clear signs.

You are trying to build confidence, and have stated (wisely) that you are afraid of horses. Ditch the mare. Leave Hubby at home. And go get that bomb proof horse that will take care of you! Hubby may not want a horse that he will get bored with over time, BUT YOU DO! It takes time for that confidence to be built, and to become real, Its nice to look forward to a good ride, on a good horse. It is no fun to always have in the back of your mind the question 'is this horse gonna dump me now?'

Been there, done that. Life is too short, and there are too many really nice horses out there that want to go with you, want to have the fun of a cattle farm, WANT to leave the house area with YOU! Ditch the @#$%, and go get a fun horse! If your hubby wants to work with her, great, but she is clearly not the horse you wanted.

Before you buy, if you dont get that 'gut' vibe that signals the instinctual 'connection', that can and should be there, then hes not the right horse either! They often pick us as much as we pick them!

Heck if you were closer, I would give you one of ours!

Sorry for the long rant, I hope it doesnt come off too pushy or bossy, its just that I feel very strongly about matching horses to riders. Let a young horse learn they can toss a rider they dont like, and they try it again and again! It can be just as bad for both horse and rider. Please accept this as just my opinions, and in the spirit of advice in which it was offered!

Good luck, and take your time!

 

[verthandi]

I love my horses and try to work through their issues, but that being said. A wise old horseman said to me years ago, it costs the same to feed a bad one as a good one. If I was in your shoes right now, I would get a horse to ride that I was comfortable on. This is suppose to be fun and relaxing, not a knot in your stomach everytime you want to ride.

 

[patandchickens]

There certainly might be a physical reason for her behavior, and even if there isn't, it is certainly possible to (at least largely, sometimes totally) reform a horse who acts like that.

HOWEVER,

it doesn't sound to me like it would make much sense to put vet money into this horse (or if you do, I'd suggest spending it on one visit from a good chiropractor, have them see the horse u/s if necessary, see what they think -- if it's a physical problem other than a saddle fit or chiropractic problem, chances are that it's not too fixable anyhow.

And it REALLY does not sound like it is constructive for you, or even your husband, to continue to work with this horse. If you were looking for a project, that would be one thing -- but you are (quite reasonably) looking for a horse to help YOU out, a confidence builder.

This horse would seem to be precisely the opposite.

I am not at *all* one to ditch a horse when it becomes inconvenient -- and was paying full good-barn board on two barely rideable mostly retired horses for a few years as a result, til we got our own place! -- but this REALLY does not sound like a good horse for you to have around. Even if you don't ride her and she's just standing around in the pasture for the rest of your life, it will mess with your mind.

So, personally I'd totally vote for finding whatever mechanism to send her on her way, even if it means taking a total loss on her purchase price, and work on getting a horse that you really 'click' with.

Good luck, sorry it's turned out this way, but not every horse is for every person,

Pat

 

[onthespot]

you should change the title of this thread to "easy horse decision" since it is a no-brainer what to do. Life's too short to mess with a horse like that. There are babysitters a dime a dozen around here right now, like between $1-2,00... lots cheaper than broken bones and probably STILL have a horse that is not safe.

 

[cutiepieacres]

It doesnt sound like the horse you need especially if you are a bit timid around horses this one is only going to make it worse eventually, a "dead broke" horse will be able to show you that you are ok up there. Yeah at some point you may outgrow him/her but maybe you will just enjoy a nice walking pace exploring the outdoors knowing you are safe.

And maybe there is somone else out there looking for a project that would be more than willing to put lots of patience and time in with this horse. I too have gotten into horses that were more than I could handle at some point. I rescued a guy last year and while I got him in a much better state than when he first got here, I hit my limit when it came to finishing him off. I was able to find him a new home where someone else with more experience could work with him, hes doing great the last time I spoke with her.

 

[andehens]

nothing difficult about this decision! Let her go!!! Get a horse you can enjoy, theres plenty of them out there!

 

[Wynette]

Awe, I'm so sorry you have such a difficult decision to make. I've been there, done that. Everyone has valid points. But - I'd like to make a suggestion: try to find a local trainer...not hubby...someone that trains for a living...and go take lesson on some of THEIR horses. When you find a trainer that you're comfortable with, s/he will discover what you lack as a rider and help you move to correct it. They will also be able to find you a good match for a horse that is right for YOU. A REALLY good trainer will find you one that is right for you now, but can "grow" along with you...for awhile anyway. Good luck!

 

[Pupsnpullets]

Quote:
Cara, you said it in the first paragraph, you didn't like the horse. Intuitively you knew right from the start this wasn't the horse for you. Throw in your hand and deal again - preferably before your husband get's his neck broken!

 

[mountaintopchicken]

I think I am in a similar position to you. My husband is the experienced horse guy. My level of riding is somewhere in the intermediate-beginner range.

I have had a fear of horses creep up on me due to a couple of hairy experiences. Nothing too bad, but enough to get my imagination working a little too hard when I ride or handle horses.

So, I agree with chickenpiedpiper. A bomb-proof horse is a wonderful thing. Such a horse would allow you to get zillions of hours on time in the saddle under your belt in a fun way, let you be more adventurous, try more things.

But a horse like the one you've got... doesn't sound like your going to wake up in the morning and say, "What a perfect day for a ride, I can't wait to saddle up my horse!"

My husband loves to ride the two slightly more challenging horses we have, but that's because he's ready for that particular kind of fun.