do you let your infant cry themselves to sleep?

[pokey]

my mom thinks i am spoiling our three week old by not letting her cry herself to sleep sometimes. she has not got into a sleep pattern at night, but if i lay her on my chest and sit in the recliner it seems to help her sleep.
some nights she sleeps ok, but the last couple she is fighting sleep. so what is your opinion? am i spoiling her, or will this phase pass? its awfully hard to sit and watch her cry...... i don't like it at all.
ps... my mother is 72 and a little "old school" on things

 

[texaschickmama]

First off, congrats on the new little bundle!!! My personal opinion, take it or leave it, I could NEVER let my little ones cry themselves to sleep. I would rock them or nurse them until they went to sleep then I would put them to their bed. Spoiling your precious little one by not letting them cry, I don't think so.

Our first was rotten. He still likes someone to sleep with him and he is 7 yrs old.

My second I was determined not to have her in the bed with us and she has wanted to go to her bed when she is sleeping since day 1.

Just remember, there are no "rules". You do what you feel your little one wants and you can do. You will get so much advice, weed through it and take what you want!! Good luck with your precious angel!!

P.S. Babies are meant to be spoiled!!!! I

 

[quail newbie]

Right after I had my son I talked to the public health nurse for the area that does the follow up visit after you go home from the hospital. She said you can never spoil a child under 6 months, it's impossible. If the baby is crying it needs something even if it just needs comfort. When he hit 6 months I gradually stopped going into his room at night. Good luck and congrats on the baby!

 

[peakpoultry]

Quote:
No I never would. They are crying for a reason, I wouldn't hold them all the time, but enough. They need to be able to spend time just looking around and be content with it. Holding them all the time is not good for you or the baby.

 

[Krysstyllanthrox]

Your child, your rules, your way. Simple as that.

If you want to be more of an attachement style parent, that is what you are. If you want to be less of an attachment style parent, that is what you are.

For good or ill, might not be a bad thing to read a few articles on attachment style parenting so that you can give your mother some facts/studies done on that style of parenting.

 

[Katy]

I don't think it's possible to spoil a 3 week old. They're still getting used to this new world they've been born into. I couldn't ever let mine just cry it out until they were much older.

 

[Whispering Winds]

You are probably going to open a can or worms with this one!

Personally, I could never let one of my 5 babies cry, but that is just ME. I know some people say you just have too because they get so use to being handled to sleep, it stays with them. Sleeping in a recliner with a 5 year old on your chest is HARD!!

But, if she doesn't seem to be too distressed over the crying, I guess it's o.k. Have you tried patting her back while she is in her little bed and humming or shhhhhhing? I did hours of that, whew!!! Good luck. This is the hardest part of a newborn baby as far as I am concerned . . .sleep patterns.

 

[crtrlovr]

no,no, and NO! You are not spoiling a 3 week old baby! An infant cries because of a need or a discomfort. Period. The need may be warmth, closeness, a full tummy, a diaper change, or a good burp, but there's still a reason for crying. A baby that young doesn't get "spoiled". If the child is a year old and regularly sleeping in your bed, then IMHO, that's a problem.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

It takes a good six weeks or more to establish a good pattern. Then still the pattern isn't set in stone. If your baby needs you they need you. You can't spoil an infant. They cry because there's a need. Even if the need is just to be held by mom. Enjoy the closeness that you can have right now. They grow up too fast as it is. Some of my favorite memories are dozing off nursing my youngest in the recliner watching Star Trek DS9 at 9pm then waking up 20 minutes later to change her then settling down about midnight.

 

[Dar]

when they were little babies under 6 months old..no they never cried them selves to sleep.

When they got a little older and it got to the point that as soon as I walked in the room they would stop crying i started to let them cry a little longer and slowly stretch it out till the crying stopped.

BUT when it came time to take the soother away, i let him scream it out. (abt 2yrs old)