Do your kids call adults by their first name?

[luvmychicknkids]

Wow...I can't imagine forcing my children to call every adult by Mr or Mrs whatever. Grandparents are Grandpa and Grandma or some variation, Aunts and Uncles are "Aunt Sandra, Uncle Steven" etc. Familiar adults are Joe, Mary, etc. Casual friends are whatever name we know. It could be mr. Smith, it could be Tom. I know people who insist on their children always saying yes maam yes sir etc. every time......WHY?????? Also, and this is a BIG one with me....show respect to those who earn it. My husband's mother is referred to as "Dad's mom" by my children. They have seen her hurt and try to destroy my family. I would never DREAM of telling them to show her respect.

 

[HorseFeathers]

Quote:
Nice.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I grew up addressing every adult, even very close friends by Mr. or Mrs + last name. I only called my aunt and uncle by first name. My mom called her MIL Mrs. Wilson until the day she died.

Now that I'm an adult with children I call most every adult by their first name. My kids call close friends by their first names, nieghbor and less close friend by first names with a Mr. or Mrs. attached, in southern style. Parents of their friends and teachers are usually Mr. or Mrs + last name. Personally I really dislike being called Mrs. Last Name and ma'am. Here in the south "yes, sir" or "yes ma'am" is the norm. Where I was raised the only time something like that was said, it was meant in the most disrespectful way possible. My northern MIL still remembers the first time she was called ma'am and how old it made her feel.

I feel that it is most respectful to address people in the way they would like to be addressed, and have nearly gotten into arguments over that point. I don't like being addressed by Mrs. at all, and for many of my friends who kept there own last names, Mrs. + Last Name is not the appropriate address. My sister and SIL both have different last names then their husbands and children. Also, in our multicultural neighborhood, we sometimes have a single family with three last names due to different naming conventions in different cultures. First names are many times easier.

I think, in general, the north and west are less formal, where the south is more formal.

edit 'cause I can't spell

 

[chickiebaby]

I'd hate to ever have anyone call me "Mrs Cleaver" all respectfully and be as dishonest as Eddie Haskell and those snarky Cleaver kids . . .glad the 50's are gone!

I certainly grew up calling adults Mr. and Mrs. My kids have been taught to start with that and then shift if/when the adult tells them to call them by their first name. They know to call older neighbors Mrs. McCormick, or whatever.

As a default, last names seem polite and respectful, but I believe real manners are never forced and never by protocol. Real manners mean making others feel comfortable.

Of course some of this is regional and cultural, it seems, and comfortable means diff things to diff people. My husband was raised in a west indian - as in black, caribbean - neighborhood and everybody was Mrs Last Name til you knew them well and then Mrs. First Name. You would NEVER have dropped the title.

My kids have a very different relationship with their friends' parents than I dd at their age, and I honestly think theirs is better. I was scared of all my friends' parents, and we hid from them all the "bad" things we did. And it seems we did many more "bad" things by far. I shudder to think of how duplicitous we were as fourteen year olds. My kids are far better people than I was.

My kids feel comfortable and honest around adults, they are less deceitful than I remember my friends and I being as teens, and I don't honestly think their true politeness or maners or kindness have suffered for being more comfortable or more real. I rellylike their friends, too, and I think pretty much all of them call me by my first name.

 

[Katy]

Our kids always called our friends by their first names and their kids call us by our first names. Never felt it was disrespecful at all. Several of our close friends were our kids teachers throughout the years (very small community) At school they called them Mrs.---- and when we were together as friends it was always first names.

 

[al6517]

Young people who have been raised in the south will refer to close friends of the family as Mr or Miss first name as a sign of repect and friendship. Example our neighbor is refered to as Mr Bob by my DD, or his wife as Miss Elizabeth. If they are newly introduced in a friendship atmosphere they refer to them the same way. this is quite acceptable in the south and it seems to do nicely. When we take a trip up to yankee land to visit relitives we do the same, and everybody just thinks it is so cute and respectfull.

Mr AL

 

[the1much]

mine do the "miss Pam" mr. bill,, thing if they are just aquaintences, but with close friends, they either call them by their first name, or by a name the kids made up for them. i dont call my friends mr. or mrs. if their older then i am. i think theirs a difference between someone you see once or twice a year or so, then someone that stops by almost every day.
the family is called by thier titles, theres "pa-pa" and "hey" ,, thats their gram and gramps, others are called grammy ---- or grampa ---- .
ive had alot of people that i respect and show it to,, but never call them mr. or mrs. ,,, sounds like your talking to your boss or "master"

edit: ta add,,,, but when their asked a question, or told something by ANYONE,, they say "yes ma'm" "no sir" ,, even me and momzies hehe

 

[lilshadow]

My kids (all teenagers now) do not call close friends aunt/uncle because they are not family. They only call family aunt/uncle. Their is grandma (first name), papaw(first name). Close friends are called by the first names, that is the way the friends wanted it. However, they do say yes/no ma'am or sir. My boys are respectful to older adults. If it is a stranger then they say Mr. Mrs. or Miss.

 

[AngieChick]

My children call adults by their first names, unless they are teachers and would prefer to be called otherwise (some teachers prefer to be called by their first name when not in the classroom). I do ask new adults what they would like my children to address them as, it's almost always their first name, no matter the age of the person. Of course my children are exposed largely to artists, programmer types and academics, so that may have something to do with it. They also are in many theater productions, many times with adults, and they form close working relationships with the adults in their productions. Those adults would never dream of separating out the younger actors by forcing them to call them by a title different from what the rest of the cast does.

I have had children told to call me Mrs."insert really long last name here" even after I say that I prefer my first name, which I find rude. Respect is calling the person whatever they feel more comfortable being called. I always refer to adults by their first names, so it's much easier for my children to memorize this way.

My students have always called me Miss Angie. It's much easier to pronounce, and I prefer it. It adds that separation that some parents prefer their children to have with adults, while still being comfortable and sweet sounding, a tone I strive to have with my students (oh don't worry, they respect me. They behave top notch in my class, because they like me and wouldn't dream of giving me a hard time. Plus, I have no doubt about who holds the power in the classroom, and it's not them). When I first started teaching at a more uptight classroom, the teachers did raise an eyebrow, but quickly saw that I had complete control of the classroom regardless of the title. I believe in earned respect.

I have many friends that are much older than I am, and they would be horribly offended if I called them by anything other than their first name.

 

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

we do the same thing. My daughter calls adults Mr or Mrs So and So. But it depends on the kids.
I have had kids talk to me and call me by my first name and they are respectful. But then I have seen other kids and they are nothing but little snots.

Our neighbor is the TA in my daughters KG class. So it was hard at first for her to call neighbor Mrs White, when she is so used to hearing my husband and I call her Kathy or "Max's mom" Max is their Golden Retriever

I have been Miss Martha for years. Either that or Ma'am, but that is only from the guys.