Does anyone else NOT get along with their Dad?

[QuinnP]

when I was 9, my father made me look up the word STUPID in the dictionary, read it out loud in front of the whole family & then admit that I fit the definition. No matter how much time goes by, it will always hurt. I was always their little failure, while my brother got all the trophies. 20 years & 5 shrinks later it still hurts. There are some scars that time cannot heal, some hurts that go too deep. (Frodo said that) And they wonder why I can only get along with them with 3 states in between us. I've tried to bring it up & get told, "Thats in the past" by them. Well it will always be burned into my heart until the day I die.

There is a book that has helped me a lot, called Toxic Parents by Dr Susan Forward. I recommend it to anyone whose parents were eejits

slainte

 

[Whispering Winds]

Quote:
I am so sorry. What a terrible thing to do to you as a child. But, you know what, you AREN'T are you? I know its hard, but we just have to pick up and go on. I was so lucky to have a good dad, died when I was three days away from my HS graduation. I still grieve to this day that my kids and their kids didn't get to know him. He was a dandy and such a good fella.

You sound very well rounded to me; and your whole family is at fault for letting your dad do that to you. Families take care of each other, and sometimes when you don't have that, you just have to take care of yourself and forget the rest. Good luck to you, and I sincerely wish you the best! Live on and don't let this stop you from enjoying life and living it to the fullest.

 

[QuinnP]

my dad doesn't even know what a uniparental disomy is, or what the two types of molar pregnancy are. He doesn't know what disease results from a non disjunction in ch.21. I am NOT stupid. I am smart on my own terms, not his.

(Uniparental disomy is where both of your chromosomes come from one parent.. The two types of moles are diandric (paternal) & digynic (maternal) & a nondisjunction of chromosome 21 results in standard Down Syndrome.) I love genetics. He cant pronounce deoxyribonuclecacid DNA hmph. (I spelled that wrong but at least I can pronounce it. lol! everybody is smart in some way.

 

[oesdog]

I haven't read all of the posts on this topic yet as it kind of upsets me to read it. There are so many folk hurting.
I haven't had a close relationship with my dad for best part of 20 odd years. Not saying why but there are very good reasons. So I can understand some of these feelings.
It is hard and it hurts and it never really goes away.

What we all need is family and friends who genuinely care about us.
Well guys - BYC is a kind of family and maybe in some small way can help to ease a deal of the hurting going on behind the keyboards!
Oesdog

 

[tobin123]

OMG,I have always thought that I was the only one who felt this way and growing up I was BC all other dad weren't like mine.I am turning 30 and my father is and has been the same(A DRUNK,NOT A GRAND FATHER TO MY SON{{his only biological g.son}})he was never there for me during my growing up years.He was always a drunk and always at the parties never really there for me at all.Now a days nothing has changed he always is with my step brothers son but not mine,never has baby sat him or took him any where.I GAVE UP I ALWAYS TRY BUT MY FAMILY IS A FAILURE>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

[Funky Feathers]

I would do anything to have my dad back. He died at age 60 (I was 16) from lung Cancer. Smoked 3 packs a day. When I was little I tried to make him stop. Nothing worked. I told him when I was 7 that he would die of lung Cancer, and he did. All I could muster to say at his death bed (he lived 1 month) was "I told you so". But I loved him so much, and I don't know if I ever got it through to him how much I loved him. Now I am 43 and we talk in my dreams. I think he knows now. I hope so anyway. Be glad if you have a dad. They don't last forever.

 

[QuinnP]

fattie, I am sorry for the loss of your dad whom you loved.

 

[agnes_day]

Quote:

im so sorry!!

 

[QuinnP]

BWAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! My dad brought my daughter to see me ALL the way from Colorado for her 11th birthday! waAAAAaaah!!!!! Also, He said that perhaps he was too hard on me growing up, he didn't realize just what FASD was, apologized for calling me Stupid. ***bawling like a calf*** he bought me a stuffed cow from the Cheese factory, took me to dinner & generally spoiled me & my girl for 2 days!!! He says he is proud of me.............. Thats about all I wanted to hear from him my whole life that he was proud of me! ***cries****

(also, having a crisis cuz my daughter needs a bra.........)


AAAAAAAK

(still floating on a cloud!)

 

[love_a_duck]

Quote:
thank you for this Oesdog,
lovely, loving thoughts for you too.
from this irish american.

Beth