Does anyone else NOT get along with their Dad?

[Elite Silkies]

My father was in the Military, but I can not tell you that it made him an Honorable Man. I think it made him a bitter and very sad man. He fought in the Tet Offensive, which was a very bad War. Maybe, it messed with his mind, I don't know. But, I still do not think that is an excuse for the way he treats others.

 

[twentynine]

I guess I am in the minority. I get along with my dad, he is now 84, living at home and independant. I visit him daily.

he was always their when I was a kid, young adult, and a young father of my own.

Boy Scout trips, fishing, hunting, always their.

Mom died last year in Sept after an extended bout with alzhiemer's. Dad stayed loyal to the end, he was mom's primary care giver up until the time he just flat couldn't physically do it any longer. Absolutely would not hear of putting mom in a nursing home.

When I think of strength and loyalty, I see my dad.

 

[tinahoak]

Quote:
I'm so thankful for your dad's honorable service. My dad was my hero and he too was a WWII vet at Iwo Jima...South Pacific. Because of brave men like them we live free!!

I've thought about this thread so much the last couple of days and even shared it with my DH. He has been a great dad to his son (first marriage) and about as good a step-dad as he knew how to be to my daughter. He is stunned by the sorry-a$$ dads that have been shared here.

I know this is not the place for this, but I just needed to add, my dad who passed last November was a WWII vet too.. Infantry man, European theater at the end then Pacific theater until we bombed Japan and the war was over.
Not too many WWII vets left alive anymore!
(As I said earlier, great man.. sure do miss him.)
ON

Certainly it is the place to post! adding a postive to soooo many negatives is never a bad thing! Makes you know there is hope out there . Thanks for sharing the flip side of the coin, you are one of the lucky ones as are my children!

 

[QuinnP]

Quote:
So why don't you get a job, give Aaren a stable home?

I hang out at the Workforce center all the time, waiting to be called. I volunteer with the local drop in center. Believe me, I am not stupid or lazy. Its hard enough for a normal person to find a job & for someone like me its almost impossible.

My parental rights were terminated 4 years ago. And even if they hadn't been, Aaren's family, both her father's & mine, are in Colorado. I could not in good conscience take her away from such a fine support structure. That would be heartless on my part.

 

[anbhean]

Sounds like I'm in a similar boat to many. I am civil with my dad, heck I'm even baking him a birthday cake tomorrow. But it's strained. Other than basic chit chat, we don't really connect. I love him, but his alcoholism and his PTSD just make it impossible to relate on a child/parent level and always has.

 

[noahsgeese]

Quote:
X2

 

[matthewschickens]

Quote:
X2

x3 again!

 

[Ema]

My mom and dad separated when I was 2 and my mother moved back to spain and within days left us in the care of my grandmother. I grew up with a very abusive grandmother who ruled with an iron fist. I saw my father once when I was 6 for 2 weeks we did a lot of fun things. My mother was never around she was an alcoholic. and From what I heard so was my dad. Then at 12 my grandmother told us (myself and 2 brothers) that my father had written her a letter and she had no choice but to bring us back to canada. We didn't know him at all and it was hard getting along with someone who was so set in his ways. very strict!!! 3 years later I couldn't take it anymore, my older brother moved back to spain after a fight he had with my dad and he was my best friend. So then it was just me and little brother but no one got along so I moved out onmy own and through the years my dad sometimes called or came over to check things out, or better yet to criticize. I never answered the door or the phone and I felt guilty just leaving him standing outside while he rang the buzzer but it was always a battle that I just couldn't take. Eventually I swalowed my pride and moved back home at 20. I just was struggling too much and he told me I could come home. I felt relieved the moment I walked back into the house and into my old room. But things still weren't very good he didn't agree with the people I dated and would say very rude things to them or my friends and often made very rude comments about my girl freinds when they came swimming. So inthe end my freinds were too uncomfortable around him and would never come over.
One time I invited a few freinds and my boyfriend over for a BBQ and my dad got drunk and while sitting at the table in the backyard asked me what in the heck I saw in him...referring to my boyfreind who was sitting right next to him. My boyfreind stood up and walked out later dumping me. Well I told my dad in front of everyone I was sick of him acting like a drunken SOB and that he needed to stay out of my life. I know he super drunk but what I said to him hurt his feelings and he cried and said he loved me and he was sorry he had hurt my feelings. My dad never shared his feelings EVER. So it took me by surprise and then he asked me not to move out because he enjoyed having me home.

But his drinking continued and after an extended vacationt hat took him from England to mexico and back to england within 2 months he decided not to come back home. He had a lawyer sell the house while I was still living in it with my older brother. He sold the house, all the furnichings and the three cars to the first person who made him any offer. My fathers home was worth well over 500k and all the furnishings were brand new, he had 1 antique lincoln a sports car and a family car, and the first person that came by offered him 160k and he took it. I was dumfounded and homeless. I never spoke to my father again...
I had to beg one of my older siblings in England to give me his address and telephone number, I would call him and send him letters but he never answered or called back. When I had my son I sent him pictures and nothing, whenI had my daughter the same.

when my daughter was 1.5 yrs old my oldest brother called me and told me my father passed away from a heart attack in a hospital in England. Apparantly he had been experiencing chest pains and had goen to see a doctor who told him it was nothing. When he went in to get dressed he collapsed and died inthe bathroom of the room he had been in.
He left all his children quite a lot of money, and while it helped out a lot I was never quite sure how to feel about his passing, because I was confussed still as to why he never wrote me back or called me back. But my brothers told me he had taken to drinking heavily and had even alienated them.

Now I am trying to keep communications open with my mother who I haven't seen in 20 years, and she hasn't even met my three children or husband. I recently started writing to her, and found out a lot of the stuff I was told about my mother while growing up wasn't really true. So I am trying to get to know her before its too late, but its goign to take time. She missed out on 30 years of my life and I am trying to give her chance, so we will see what happens.

well that is sort of my short story about my parents.

 

[Goat_Walker]

My dad always has something to yell at me for. I have him telling me how lazy and sorry I am every single day - while he sits his butt on the couch and watches TV all day. Im used to it - I mean its all I can ever remember from him since the 4th grade. If I dont let it roll off my back and just ignore him or smile and nod my head like a good little girl it turns ugly, and quick. I have an irish temper and when he starts yelling or getting in my face it is VERY hard for me to just stand by and take it. Ive made my cheeks and tounge bleed from biting them so hard to keep my mouth shut. He has this tone too - where his voice gets deeper and thats his business or unattatched voice. When he uses it with me it just tears me apart inside. I love him , even if he is a cocky arrogant jerk. He is ALWAYS being immature and mocks me. Some days, when ive had enough from the outside world and i have to come home to him - just the sound of his voice sets me off, and if i dont walk out of the house i go over the edge. Our arguments have led to full on physical fights when he is off his meds. Ive even been kicked out of the house a few times because he feels im giving him attitude. He makes my mom cry all the time and it makes me SO MAD! but I love him, and he is my dad, and even though he gets tiring after all these years ill always have his back. Even when he doesnt have mine.

 

[MagsC]

Well, I was at my parents and my dad was a bit less of a jerk than usual. My sister and I laughed and said it was because he was stressed at all the noise her children were making and couldnt focus on anyone else.

Seriously, he was absolutely restrained compared to normal. I am not complaining.