My mom and dad separated when I was 2 and my mother moved back to spain and within days left us in the care of my grandmother. I grew up with a very abusive grandmother who ruled with an iron fist. I saw my father once when I was 6 for 2 weeks we did a lot of fun things. My mother was never around she was an alcoholic. and From what I heard so was my dad. Then at 12 my grandmother told us (myself and 2 brothers) that my father had written her a letter and she had no choice but to bring us back to canada. We didn't know him at all and it was hard getting along with someone who was so set in his ways. very strict!!! 3 years later I couldn't take it anymore, my older brother moved back to spain after a fight he had with my dad and he was my best friend. So then it was just me and little brother but no one got along so I moved out onmy own and through the years my dad sometimes called or came over to check things out, or better yet to criticize. I never answered the door or the phone and I felt guilty just leaving him standing outside while he rang the buzzer but it was always a battle that I just couldn't take. Eventually I swalowed my pride and moved back home at 20. I just was struggling too much and he told me I could come home. I felt relieved the moment I walked back into the house and into my old room. But things still weren't very good he didn't agree with the people I dated and would say very rude things to them or my friends and often made very rude comments about my girl freinds when they came swimming. So inthe end my freinds were too uncomfortable around him and would never come over.
One time I invited a few freinds and my boyfriend over for a BBQ and my dad got drunk and while sitting at the table in the backyard asked me what in the heck I saw in him...referring to my boyfreind who was sitting right next to him. My boyfreind stood up and walked out later dumping me. Well I told my dad in front of everyone I was sick of him acting like a drunken SOB and that he needed to stay out of my life. I know he super drunk but what I said to him hurt his feelings and he cried and said he loved me and he was sorry he had hurt my feelings. My dad never shared his feelings EVER. So it took me by surprise and then he asked me not to move out because he enjoyed having me home.
But his drinking continued and after an extended vacationt hat took him from England to mexico and back to england within 2 months he decided not to come back home. He had a lawyer sell the house while I was still living in it with my older brother. He sold the house, all the furnichings and the three cars to the first person who made him any offer. My fathers home was worth well over 500k and all the furnishings were brand new, he had 1 antique lincoln a sports car and a family car, and the first person that came by offered him 160k and he took it. I was dumfounded and homeless. I never spoke to my father again...
I had to beg one of my older siblings in England to give me his address and telephone number, I would call him and send him letters but he never answered or called back. When I had my son I sent him pictures and nothing, whenI had my daughter the same.
when my daughter was 1.5 yrs old my oldest brother called me and told me my father passed away from a heart attack in a hospital in England. Apparantly he had been experiencing chest pains and had goen to see a doctor who told him it was nothing. When he went in to get dressed he collapsed and died inthe bathroom of the room he had been in.
He left all his children quite a lot of money, and while it helped out a lot I was never quite sure how to feel about his passing, because I was confussed still as to why he never wrote me back or called me back. But my brothers told me he had taken to drinking heavily and had even alienated them.
Now I am trying to keep communications open with my mother who I haven't seen in 20 years, and she hasn't even met my three children or husband. I recently started writing to her, and found out a lot of the stuff I was told about my mother while growing up wasn't really true. So I am trying to get to know her before its too late, but its goign to take time. She missed out on 30 years of my life and I am trying to give her chance, so we will see what happens.
well that is sort of my short story about my parents.
