I think the first year was hard for me. It got better as the year went on and we did more, but it took a lot at first. But that was now 15 years ago, and the kids think nothing of butchering time, the oldest two process for people as a summer job, and we usually don't have chicken that night because we are all so tired we just get take out. DH also does a lot of the killing, he hunts also, taught the kids how to hunt, and it's just not my thing. I've told him to go get such and such bird (like the evil roo) and dispatch for me, but then I'll scald/pluck/process. I pretty much only will kill a bird if it's something that can't wait for DH to get home. But even then, I'm usually still a sniffing baby about it. Usually because it's a DP bird who is sick or badly hurt so I feel bad for the bird.