Does education make you jaded?

[saddina]

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Oh, I did and still do talk to him quite often. It was just when my friend told me that I was opinionated that it just about knocked me over. I had to sit and think when was the last time we talked bout anything political. Besides, I said he liked me not the other way around. He is cute and does seem nice, but...

My friend didn't think we were compatable either. She thinks I should seek out nice older (as in early 30s not 20s) man that is educated.

DB

I've been married to a man my age, 20 years older, and 5 years older. The one my age was too immature, and didn't want to grow up; the one old enough to be my father, had thought i'd make a docile wife and mother (feel free to fall over laughing here), the one 5 years older does not flinch at having a wife who can out think him, loves that our children are unusually brilliant, and is secure enough in himself to enjoy marriage with a strong woman.

In other words don't rush, it takes time to find a person who can deal with having an independant minded woman.

 

[boaz]

I read most of this thread and really wanted to jump in; however, didn't know where to jump.

jaded
1. dulled or satiated by overindulgence: a jaded appetite.
2. worn out or wearied, as by overwork or overuse.
3. dissipated: a jaded reprobate.

Is it possible to be overcome or jaded by a pursuit of wisdom, I think unlikely. Information is a different issue. It is not the education process but the onboard sorter that must be working properly. The internet has equalized to a large degree the inherent credibility of anything that can find its way to a search engine.

Large amounts of equally weighted information, whether on the net or in another venue can make one satiated by overindulgence, worn out and dissipated. Does education make you catatonic? I once had a siamese that made me sneeze.

 

[Ridgerunner]

I think I've read most of the posts on here, at least until I started typing. It is an interesting topic.

I certainly do not think education makes you jaded or dissatisfied. I'm using education in the concept of critical thinking and exposure to other ideas, not just book learning. I know some people highly educated, some through universities and some through life, that are neither jaded or unsatisfied and I know some of both that are otherwise.

I do think that anytime you generalize or stereotype people, you just limited your horizons. Yes, there is often a grain of truth in a stereotype, but there are also some huge exceptions. Others on here have written on the North versus South thing so I'll use that. I'm from the South so I have a vested interest in this also. I've known people in the South, North and East and West that have never left the immediate three county (or parish) area where they were born. The South has the reputation for having a narrow minded provincial outlook and a strong distrust of strangers, but I assure you that you can find that anywhere in this country. And what some people see as a narrow minded provincial outlook with a distrust of strangers others see it as strong family values and neighbors helping neighbors, especially against outsiders. In the part of the country where I grew up, a lot of that attitude can be traced back to when England was invading Scotland to establish control over those wild Scottish clans and the clans worked together to keep out the invaders. The Scots couldn't really understand why the English were invading. All they did was go south and steal a few cattle. You know, traditional values. (Nothing is ever really that cut and dried or simple, but cattle stealing did have something to do with it. So did English empirial ambition.)

One of the posters mentioned that in her experience, men are... As much as I respect her opinion and experience on many topics, I do consider that bashing, simply because I was insulted to be lumped in that group by inference if not by fact. I'll agree that there are many men that fit her description, but I don't think all men fit her description any more that I think all women are scatterbrained, deathly afraid of spiders and snakes, and always looking for another pair of shoes. I'm still enough of a Southern gentleman to automatically extend certain courtesies to ladies, but I also realize that they could open that door themselves. I guess some people see what I think of as courtesy as threatening.

Now that I have done my rant, I'll suggest don't give up on being who you are. You can always be introspective and decide if you are being rude, overbearing, intolerant, or supercritical of others and maybe try to change your approach if you really recognize you are doing something you are not proud of, but don't try to suppress who you are or you give up all hope of finding people you can relax and be yourself with. They are out there. I know you said you are not looking for male companionship, but I did not find my wife until I was in my 30's. Having certain standards does limit your opportunities, but I'm glad I maintained mine. She was worth the wait. We both have college degrees but she has more pure intellectual curiosity than I do. I don't find that threatening.

You mentioned your Sunday school class as an example and that the only woman willing to speak up is you. I'm assuming you are in your early to mid 20's. When I was that age, it was not that unusual for men and women to go to separate Sunday schools in the churches I was familiar with. That is no longer the case in the churches I am familiar with now. I don't know if some of that history is at play in your church. I'd suspect that personality has something to do with who answers questions or gives opinions. And I've seen that internal politics in some churches can be pretty vicious. Like any group, you have to learn something about the movers and shakers and some of the history.

I don't know what conditions you are in as far as opportunities. I suggest looking for opportunities to meet people that might share your interests. That might mean continuing education classes, volunteer work, local theater, local politics (though finding an open mind in politics is a real stretch. There I go stereotyping but I am weak. I could not resist!), museums, art centers, search and rescue teams, the local library, scuba diving classes, whatever has an interest for you. Expand your own opportunities and you might strike gold.

I do wish you luck.

 

[PortageGirl]

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I have learned to quickly spot and totally avoid those who seem to take such great glee in their “Positive Knowledge” that they know ABSOLUTELY everything there is to know about EVERYTHING.

Those people, of either sex, simply will not tolerate anyone who pauses after hearing them pontificate on a subject, and ask a question that calls anything they have said into question, even if it is oh so subtly done. (it IS of course great fun to do just that though isn't it??) I too have moved back to my small rural Ohio town after 20+ years in the military, countless hours of classes, living in many culturally diverse places, and working with folk from every race, creed, and heritage, and I have found that there is no percentage in beating my head against some brick walls.

As discouraging as it can be, I HAVE found plenty of people here who are willing to discuss many things, current events, world history, modern topics etc, as long as “I” who have become a bit of an outsider here start things out with something gentle such as, “Well, I guess after living in many places these last years, I look at things a little differently these days.” Depending on their reaction, I know how to go on from there. Sometimes it really needs to be giving a smile and moving to a different part of the room. It is pretty amazing what an OH SO tolerant smile and slightly raised eyebrow can express though!

This is not because I’m afraid of confrontation, it’s because I’ve learned that it is totally pointless at times. I’d much rather keep my eyes and ears open for opportunities to discuss, than those hopeless cases who are so deaf, they will not hear any words that do not follow their dictates.

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Oh my goodness yes, I’m SO with you joebryant!!!

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Yes, here in the rural north it’s much the same… All that stuff that many call ‘gossip’ I turn on its head and look at it as ‘interest’. My neighbors and fellow church members may know some of my business, but if they hear I’m in trouble, at least they give a call to see if they can help. Maybe that shade of red lipstick IS too bright for Mrs. Connors, but when one of us further remarks that, “Well, maybe it is a bit bright, but I bet it sure cheers her up!” soon enough the group is agreeing over how wonderful it can be that something so small can cheer a person up. I guess my point is, sometimes it only takes one person of good intent to steer things in the right direction.

In a way, maybe it's not that so many all have closed minds, (though some do) maybe it's that so many haven't found the right question, topic, person, or idea to open their eyes to a new point of view.

 

[boaz]

This is a very good post! It has lots of insight and some words you don't use much, that is also good. The question on my mind is what are we talking about?

 

[Smartie_Pants]

I have a hard time relating to people my age, and because of that I don't have many friends. They want to spend all of their time running around town, texting, getting into trouble, and just all around being disrespectful and acting like hooligans. I never got that, and I've never acted like that. I am very mature, intelligent, and respectful, which no one seems to understand.

The biggest issue I have is that people refuse to see when something they say, do, or believe is wrong. Like, the other day I was talking to a girl I set with at lunch. I am lactose intolerant, and she asked me just what causes you to become lactose intolerant. I simple told her that your intestines stop producing the enzyme to digest lactose, the naturally occuring sugar in milk, and that your body has no way to absorb it. She argued with me for like five minutes, saying that your body just doesn't stop producing enzymes, that it wasn't possible. So I just let it go.

That happens all the time. If you don't believe what everyone else does, you aren't accepted. Period. I refuse to believe that.

 

[deb1]

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Just curious. Am I reading this correctly. This man told someone that he knew was a friend of yours you were too opinionated? That doesn't seem like a very bright thing for him to do.

Sorry. I am not trying to hijack the thread. But it just struck me as odd that he would insult you to a person that he must have known would have repeated his words back to you.

He doesn't sound like a very nice person.

 

[boaz]

I have done a bit more research:

 

[PortageGirl]

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Just curious. Am I reading this correctly. This man told someone that he knew was a friend of yours you were too opinionated? That doesn't seem like a very bright thing for him to do.

Sorry. I am not trying to hijack the thread. But it just struck me as odd that he would insult you to a person that he must have known would have repeated his words back to you.

He doesn't sound like a very nice person.

**evil grin** I could guess!!! But that would get me labeled as harsh!! :LOL

Ok, well, I knew someone who would do things sort of like that who thought that he was such a catch (and he really was very good looking, as if that's all that mattered!!) that by just saying that about someone, it would cause them to 'conform' and fall in with what he thought was 'good, and proper' way for a woman to behave.

LOL,,, so, he may think I'm deprived of his attention, but I feel as if I'm well rid of his attention!

I feel as if I"m the big winner in this scenario!!!

 

[ohiofarmgirl]

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oh Boaz.. you're so 'my generation'!! hee hee hee thanks for the video