Dumbest Things People Have Said About Your Chickens/Eggs/Meat

Status
Not open for further replies.
If you tell a child to sit still in his seat and stop bothering the other students, the culprit goes home and tells his mother the teacher is "mean".
I tell students (I'm an IA in the special ed class) that if being "mean" means that I don't let kids break the rules, then I'm mean
tongue2.gif
 
This whole fuss over that gun sign thing is silly. Lighten up people. The sign is meant to be humorous. It's not worth getting your knickers in a wad over for heaven's sake. Do I have guns? Yup. About 20 rifles more or less. I inherited them. Do I shoot them? Nope. I am dangerous with a gun. Not because I have a good aim. Quite the opposite. I have poor eyesight and my coordination isn't all that great either. The only way I could defend myself with any of those guns would be to grab it by the barrel and hit whatever or whomever I was after over the head with the stock. The only gun I had on the place that I could have ever had any hope of actually hit anything with was something that all I had to do was point it in the general direction. Didn't even have to aim it. It was also highly illegal. Class D felony they told me. So I found a home it. As for gun rights (or wrongs) I'm neutral. I find both sides lack a sense of humor, and all this hoo haw over a rather creative no trespassing sign proves it. Now that I've said my piece I'll shut up and go back to being nice.

I, too, am dangerous with my shotgun and for a similar reason. Therefore, my self defense plan is thus: at the first sound, I grab the shot gun next to the bed and go to the top of the stairs. I then sit on the top step, resting said shotgun on knees. I then cock the gun and announce loudly, "That sound was my shotgun, and this staircase has just turned into a shooting gallery. Take one step on the stairs and I fire. I don't have to be accurate, At this range I'm gonna hit anything on the stairs." I figure that oughta do it.

Now, please. Let's not debate the merits, stupidity, impossibility, plausibility or other facets of this plan. It's MY plan and I'm sticking to it. Of course, I also live in a place that has almost no crime, so I'm not overly concerned, either.
 
Well, to all you out there who wanted entertaining, silly stuff about chickens, I say goodbye. Maybe we can meet up on another funny thread sometime.

You're absolutely right. Mea culpa. I swear, I'll be good ... but, I have been known to lie on occasion. Please don't go!! Or, let's start another thread and not leave a forwarding address!
big_smile.png
 
Pretty much the opposite of dumb (at least on my student's part), but still funny...

We were watching classic Disney shorts in class--for this bit, the one where Goofy has a pet grasshopper named Wilbur to help him fish (Wilbur's the bait). Wilbur's been eaten by a bird, and Goofy's mourning him. The bird lays an egg. Out pops Wilbur!

Student says, "That's not how it works! You can't eat something and have it come out like that!" (Or something like that--it was yesterday and I was filing...)
 
Pretty much the opposite of dumb (at least on my student's part), but still funny...

We were watching classic Disney shorts in class--for this bit, the one where Goofy has a pet grasshopper named Wilbur to help him fish (Wilbur's the bait). Wilbur's been eaten by a bird, and Goofy's mourning him. The bird lays an egg. Out pops Wilbur!

Student says, "That's not how it works! You can't eat something and have it come out like that!" (Or something like that--it was yesterday and I was filing...)

That kid should be in the gifted class!

I asked a kid today, "Why is it a good idea for police to wear a uniform?" Answer: "So he won't be running around naked!"

Sometimes it's really hard to keep a straight face.
hmm.png
 
Last edited:
I'm from Canada, so I don't get the gun thing at all. But I'm thinking, all the while reading this thread, which is interesting and intelligent and not that belligerent, that maybe the neighbour had some good reason to wish for a gun ban. Maybe a family member died because someone who shouldn't have a gun was able to get one. Maybe they're dreaming of a country where not so many people die from gun crimes. Where not so many people live in fear of dying of gun crimes. Cause, seriously, in other countries, its not such a big fear. Anyway, if that was my neighbour, and for some reason they supported a ban, I would perhaps disagree with them, maybe lose respect for them, maybe stop talking to them or stop shovelling their walkway for them. But never in a million years would I advertise that they don't have guns. Because how could you live with yourself if something really happened to them?
 
I, too, am dangerous with my shotgun and for a similar reason. Therefore, my self defense plan is thus: at the first sound, I grab the shot gun next to the bed and go to the top of the stairs. I then sit on the top step, resting said shotgun on knees. I then cock the gun and announce loudly, "That sound was my shotgun, and this staircase has just turned into a shooting gallery. Take one step on the stairs and I fire. I don't have to be accurate, At this range I'm gonna hit anything on the stairs." I figure that oughta do it.

Now, please. Let's not debate the merits, stupidity, impossibility, plausibility or other facets of this plan. It's MY plan and I'm sticking to it. Of course, I also live in a place that has almost no crime, so I'm not overly concerned, either.

That is actually a very bad idea.

1. Don't tell them where you are. Unless you know where they are, that they're alone (or, in the case of two or more people, together), and you have them at gun point, don't approach them or make your presence noticeable. Just call the police.
2. They may be armed. Unfortunately, unless it's a decent slug, a shotgun round will not be lethal to them through the wall; let alone the speed at which it fires and reloading time. A FMJ round out of a semi-auto rifle will put you in immediate danger. They can just barrage you with bullets through the wall and you're dead. Again, very bad idea to let them know where you are and that you're armed.
3. You should always hide and call the police instead of trying to threaten the intruders. Unless you're in Texas, it's illegal to shoot someone that didn't threaten your life. Your best bet is to grab your phone, grab your gun, go to a safe place and hide, then call the police and wait there. If you need reasons why you shouldn't confront the intruders, refer to points 1 and 2.

It's best, even in these cases, to avoid unnecessary violence and call the police. Even if you had a fully auto M2 Browning (50 BMG) held to the intruder's head at point blank, you're still risking your life to prevent items from being stolen. Not worth it.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

New posts New threads Active threads

Back
Top Bottom