I've got one: This very silly and pretentious woman (who drives me nuts) has said she would never eat my eggs; she ONLY eats the ones from the grocery store. Plus, she ate a brown egg once and didn't like it. She ONLY eats white eggs. Consequently, the thought of my blue and green eggs makes her ... well, green!
Anyway, yesterday she was bragging (as usual) about how she made the cheesecake she brought to the party; "I bought eggs JUST for the cheese cake because I only use the very freshest eggs. And, of course, only the very best and freshest cream cheese ...", blah-de-blah-blah-blah. All the while she's droning on, I'm thinking "If you're as picky as you say, why won't you use eggs fresh out of the chicken, instead of those old, non-organic, battery produced ping-pong balls you call eggs?" What a sanctimonious dope.