Emotional after first slaughter

Everyone has their own limits. Even though I grew up on a farm, I think my limit would be the same as yours, especially being present for the butchering.
I never got over hearing our beef cattle being de-horned. I hid in my room but I could still smell the stench.
Sorry you're upset, and I hope you feel better soon. After a bit, try to find something positive to do.
 
So far 2 of our ducks were slaughtered for meat, 1 duckling died after a bad fall, and another duck died from what I think was a bowel obstruction.

The death of the duckling and the one with the bowel obstruction were hardest. I think because their deaths were earlier than they should have been, and not for the best of reasons. I saw the one die of a bowel obstruction, she looked like she had a seizure and then just dropped over. We cut her head off to make sure she was dead before we buried her. The duckling had internal bleeding and was suffering, so we dispatched it to end the suffering. That was quite sad.

The two slaughtered for meat had been such little hellions in the yard was easier. I knew it had to be done, and I knew it would bring peace to the yard, and it did.

I really dread the day we need to slaughter a goose. I absolutely adore all our geese, and I couldn't be present or eat them. Even my husband has said he couldn't slaughter our geese. I think everyone has their line, and the geese are definitely mine.
 
So far 2 of our ducks were slaughtered for meat, 1 duckling died after a bad fall, and another duck died from what I think was a bowel obstruction.

The death of the duckling and the one with the bowel obstruction were hardest. I think because their deaths were earlier than they should have been, and not for the best of reasons. I saw the one die of a bowel obstruction, she looked like she had a seizure and then just dropped over. We cut her head off to make sure she was dead before we buried her. The duckling had internal bleeding and was suffering, so we dispatched it to end the suffering. That was quite sad.

The two slaughtered for meat had been such little hellions in the yard was easier. I knew it had to be done, and I knew it would bring peace to the yard, and it did.

I really dread the day we need to slaughter a goose. I absolutely adore all our geese, and I couldn't be present or eat them. Even my husband has said he couldn't slaughter our geese. I think everyone has their line, and the geese are definitely mine.
Thank you for sharing your story, it helps to know I'm not alone
 

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