Ended Official BYC Mini-contest - Tell us your funniest chicken story and win!

[Lobzi]

THUNK!!!

How funny. Im glad she was not hurt.

 

[Lobzi]

These stories are so funny. Im so glad I was made aware of this thread. Honestly, I dont know how you are going to narrow it down to the winners!

 

[MemesChicks]

I found a pic of Cobo and his "harem" having a stroll about the yard.

I wish I had one of him "bathing" with them. It's hilarious!:cd

 

[certifiedchef]

This was an email I received from our neighbor and friend that watch our hens when we are away, the names have been changed to protect the innocent, the language has been edited....



Sunday morning, August 7, 2011: Went to check on the chickens first. I see they have plenty of water, but the water’s dirty and I need to clean out their little-pecker-water dishes. The girls are desperate to get out. I block them with my foot, enter the coop and shut the door so they can’t escape. I swirl their water around and start to clean out their little-pecker-dishes but after emptying them, I realize I’m a girly-girl and I don’t want to stick my finger in there to clean them out. I think, “maybe I’ll hose them out later”. At this point I turn to exit and realize the door to the coop is latched on the outside and I’m a prisoner in the darn chicken coop!

I’m claustrophobic and now I’m stuck in a wire coffin and I’m thinking I will have a heart attack because I’m sixty--three and I’m going to die in chicken dirt! There’s no use calling out for help. It’s 6:30 in the morning and "Bill" is out like a light with his T.V. blaring and even if he misses me after awhile, he can’t get down the steps in his walker.

I look at my options. I notice a wire attached to a ring and a hole in the door frame where the wire used to go through and attach to the latch that used to open the door. But the wire is broken and just laying there like something out of a Stephen King horror novel. Just last night I watched a movie on the Sci-Fi channel called See No Evil where this maniac locks this curvaceous in a cage and he has a fetish for plucking out eyeballs. I remember thinking, “How stupid! There’s got to be a way to get out of the cage you stupid, but now, but NOW,I’m the stupid in the cage and the girls are looking hungrily at my eyes!!

Despite my panic, I thought first about the gazillion dollars you spent on constructing the coop and I want to minimize any damage in making my escape. I look at the broken wire on the ring and think, “Maybe if I unwind the wire I can make a hook on the end and stick it between the door and the door frame and unhook the latch”. For the next twenty minutes while my heart is pounding and near bursting, I try this, but the wire breaks. Gosh darn CHEAP WIRE !! Well shucks! What else can I use?? Maybe something to pry the door open. I notice the decorative black metal trivet mounted next to the door to the chicken’s main living quarters. Heck! It’s mounted with screws!! Who the hell would mount a stupid chicken decoration with gee golly screws? Was this an earthquake precaution or what!

At this point I no longer give a gee willeker how many gazillions of dollars you spent on the coop, I’m in extreme panic mode and am going to rip this coop apart and get the gosh golly out of here. The girls retreat to the main living quarters while I throw my shoulder against the door again and again and again. After thirty or forty attempts, I realize I ‘m an old woman trapped in an over-built chicken coop. I mean, couldn’t you have just used staples? heck NO! You use submarine rivets and prison wire!

I’m NOT going to die here. I look around for other options. There is a cinder block under the chickens’ ramp. This is my last hope. I heave it against the door a dozen times, then a dozen more times and then, and then…. Freedom.

So, just want you to know things aren't the way you left them.

your neighbor

 

[ifedmysheep]

Bernie the Night Watchman
About 5 years ago a friend went through a long illness that ended her in divorce. We ended up adopted her 3 hens one Rhode Island red rooster and a 2 year old scrubby rooster who was "low man on the Totem pole". He was almost unsightly, skanky feathered and afraid of everything and everyone. One for the pot my gramps would say. But we quickly separated him and gave him lots of food, love and 1 old hen of his own. The hen was not as fond of him as he was her. She continually fled the coop to be with the others and that fantastic RIR rooster. Bernie took to following me around and would stand on the porch and peer in the glass door waiting for me to come he slept there too right in front of the door. He did not seem to miss his lost love or the flock. One warm night in May something dug into our coop and killed all the others. Bernie was safe and crowed any time I turned on the kitchen light at night. He sleeps there in warm weather and visits his young hens daily and then winters with them in the coop. That scrubby rooster turned out to be an awesome Dorking and a great night watchman.

 

[peter98]

well one of my funniest times was when i was transplanting some plants and i took out my oldest iris and i called the chickens and without thinking i went to pet them and one of them stole my iris i had to chase her all around the yard

 

[sumi]

I moved into a new to me "country home" when my oldest was just shy of 6.

A good friend decided that every 6 year old needs a pet, and a great learning experience would be hatching and raising chickens.

So he shows up on my 6 year old's birthday, with an incubator and 2 dozen eggs.

She diligently turns each egg carefully twice a day for the required time period.

I candle the eggs at the appropriate time interval, to see if indeed they are fertile.

I see nothing!!!

In a panic, I order 2 dozen chicks from a hatchery to arrive the day before the chicks are due to hatch.

I have a plan...

I place the chicks in the incubator with the unhatched eggs for warmth that evening.

My daughter wakes me up the next morning screaming with excitement!

She wants an explanation as to how we hatched 40 chicks from just 24 eggs!!

One day a friend of a friend called and asked if she could bring her four year old son Jeffrey out to see our chickens since he had never seen a real live chicken before and of course we said "sure". So out they came. After collecting a few eggs, talking about how the hens go into the nesting boxes to lay every day and walking around the chicken yard Jeffery spotted the rooster. Just then old Hank let out one of his very best crows ever. Jeffrey's eyes opened wide and in a very excited and surprised voice he exclaimed, "They really DO say Cock-a-doodle-do!!". He just couldn't get over it and kept repeating and repeating those words. I guess that all this time he thought his mom was making it up when she read his favorite book to him each night. We've laughed about this for years.

We have a chicken named Ellie who loves my husband and follows him everywhere. One day as he crawled under the truck to change the oil, of course Ellie had to follow him. There she was under the truck watching what he was doing. I had to laugh as I watched what unfolded. She would tilt her head to the side to see what he was doing, then look down and peck at the tools, then look up at him and start "talking to him". It was like she was supervising him during the oil change! Even funnier was that I could hear my husband talking back to her! I laughed and laughed as this continued until the oil change was finished. It's funny how chickens can make the most mundane tasks hilarious.

This was an email I received from our neighbor and friend that watch our hens when we are away, the names have been changed to protect the innocent, the language has been edited....



Sunday morning, August 7, 2011: Went to check on the chickens first. I see they have plenty of water, but the water’s dirty and I need to clean out their little-pecker-water dishes. The girls are desperate to get out. I block them with my foot, enter the coop and shut the door so they can’t escape. I swirl their water around and start to clean out their little-pecker-dishes but after emptying them, I realize I’m a girly-girl and I don’t want to stick my finger in there to clean them out. I think, “maybe I’ll hose them out later”. At this point I turn to exit and realize the door to the coop is latched on the outside and I’m a prisoner in the darn chicken coop!

I’m claustrophobic and now I’m stuck in a wire coffin and I’m thinking I will have a heart attack because I’m sixty--three and I’m going to die in chicken dirt! There’s no use calling out for help. It’s 6:30 in the morning and "Bill" is out like a light with his T.V. blaring and even if he misses me after awhile, he can’t get down the steps in his walker.

I look at my options. I notice a wire attached to a ring and a hole in the door frame where the wire used to go through and attach to the latch that used to open the door. But the wire is broken and just laying there like something out of a Stephen King horror novel. Just last night I watched a movie on the Sci-Fi channel called See No Evil where this maniac locks this curvaceous in a cage and he has a fetish for plucking out eyeballs. I remember thinking, “How stupid! There’s got to be a way to get out of the cage you stupid, but now, but NOW,I’m the stupid in the cage and the girls are looking hungrily at my eyes!!

Despite my panic, I thought first about the gazillion dollars you spent on constructing the coop and I want to minimize any damage in making my escape. I look at the broken wire on the ring and think, “Maybe if I unwind the wire I can make a hook on the end and stick it between the door and the door frame and unhook the latch”. For the next twenty minutes while my heart is pounding and near bursting, I try this, but the wire breaks. Gosh darn CHEAP WIRE !! Well shucks! What else can I use?? Maybe something to pry the door open. I notice the decorative black metal trivet mounted next to the door to the chicken’s main living quarters. Heck! It’s mounted with screws!! Who the hell would mount a stupid chicken decoration with gee golly screws? Was this an earthquake precaution or what!

At this point I no longer give a gee willeker how many gazillions of dollars you spent on the coop, I’m in extreme panic mode and am going to rip this coop apart and get the gosh golly out of here. The girls retreat to the main living quarters while I throw my shoulder against the door again and again and again. After thirty or forty attempts, I realize I ‘m an old woman trapped in an over-built chicken coop. I mean, couldn’t you have just used staples? heck NO! You use submarine rivets and prison wire!

I’m NOT going to die here. I look around for other options. There is a cinder block under the chickens’ ramp. This is my last hope. I heave it against the door a dozen times, then a dozen more times and then, and then…. Freedom.

So, just want you to know things aren't the way you left them.

your neighbor

Thank you everyone who shared your wonderful stories!

 

[Blooie]

Great job, everybody! Made me smile every time there was an addition to this thread.

 

[TwoCrows]

Congrats to the winners of this contest!!

Great job to everyone that contributed their stories...all were very funny!!!

 

[NeseO]

Congratulations!!! Best thread ever!