2 years ago, I was engaged to be married. I didn't know, because you can never know, that the situation was poor fated. We met at college, shared a first kiss beneath autumn trees on the main street in her town.
Her mother opened and read all her mail. If my fiancee Natalie ever wanted to go out, her mother demanded a full itinerary-'how she was going to drive there or what bus she would take, or what walking route... where she was going... After mother's divorce Natalie had become her crutch of emotional support. Mother was intensely insecure.
Every time I was not around, Natalie's mother was bent to heck on sabotage, calling me names, saying all kinds of nasty things about me to alienate Natalie from me. Mother would lie to Natalie--never telling her if I had come round. One time I had gone to see my sick father. We didn't think he was going to pull through... Well, my sister was talking in the background when I tried to call Natalie. That was enough for it all to get twisted. Nat was told I was clearly seeing another girl behind her back. It was just so messed up.
Natalie was so confused. I will never blame her. I just wish she had believed in me more.
I was waiting to see Natalie after class one time at college. I was bored, and there was a loose section of pebbled pavement, and I was using my foot, tapping loose pebbles into a nearby drain. Her mother, receptionist at the same college, used even that against me, told the police I was acting unstable and threatening and had them remove me from the campus. Long story short...After that, it was time to try any long shot or just drop it all and move away. I went round to Nat's bedroom window the next morning, with money and a plan of 'eloping' to my uncle's. I tapped on the window, called her name. Nothing. Her mother had made her swap rooms with the one her brother and sister shared--unkmown to me, I had been tapping on the younger sibs window as a result. Her mother went to the police with one of her weirder relatives, and used that against me, saying I was terrorizing the family... It was already on record from the day before that the cops had removed me from campus. They made up numerous allegations about me, even to the point of saying Natalie was being controlled by me and then took out a restraining order against me in her behalf.
I desperately went looking for her some months later. She had committed suicide by overdose.
God knows the hurt. All her thoughts still move through mine. Even though now my gentle lamb is in the place where roses dont grow, her flower doesnt fade.
She stays beautiful now and forever. This is her day. And Im so sorry, my new friends, if Im acting kind of weird.

