Ever feel like you are too different from everyone you know?

[HeatherLynn]

Sitting here this morning doing bills, checking chickens and getting the kids started on school work for the morning. I look at my facebook page and start reading posts and I realized that I have absolutely nothing in common with pretty much everyone I know. Most I have known for years and year since high school and my first job. A very few like 4 are current friends. Even the current friends I have little in common with but at least there is something. Old friends that I would say were close enough to be sisters are soooo totally different from me. Manicures twice a week! That would severely cut into my time and money for interesting stuff. date nights, shopping, ladies retreats, spa weekends I cannot relate at all. Now ask me about going out with the hubby for a hamburger, shake and a trip to the feed store and I can relate. Or talk about going to peddlers malls and looking for vintage glassware or old straight razors and we can trade info on the best places to go to.

Ok so I have not found time for a trip to the salon in 6 months and currently yes I let a couple gray hairs show. But I did have another baby, get 2 coops done, brought in 26 new chickens, started renovating our house to get it ready to put on the market and moved my family permanently to the farm. I think all that outweighs my hair being a bit longer than normal. right. I get such odd looks when friends hear that we are selling our house in town and going to build our own house mortgage free at the farm. I thought not having a mortgage was a great idea. Others just think I am being extreme. I thought it was pretty cool.

It makes you feel kinda lonely. Its like being the ugly duckling. Man I need to go find a pond of swans or something.

 

[patnjess]

i posted something very similar saturday in family section

 

[Southernbelle]

My local friends do think I'm more than a little weird. I don't care about fashionable clothes, I think hair and nail salons are a waste of money, I'm pregnant again, I grow some of our own food and raise chickens and rabbits. My dream is more land, more animals and maybe some honey bees. They love to roll their eyes at me and poke fun at me, but it doesn't stop them from asking for some of my fresh eggs or homegrown tomatos.

I may not fit in with them, but BYC is fulll of people just like me.

 

[Amanda0609]

I feel the same way!! I have some very good friends that I met at my old job I left that job 2 years ago to be a stay at home mom. I have nothing in common with them any more. I still care about them and keep in touch but we have little to talk about. I would rather spend money on things for my animals, get new animals, or pay off debt. I would love to be mortage free, good for you! My dream is to move out of the city limits onto a few acres and build my own house. I am sooo glad I found this place because so many people here have similar views and interests and it doesn't usually include expensive clothes and salon trips. I often feel like this is the only place where people get me anymore. Glad to see I'm not the only one.

 

[Olive Hill]

I've come to think "fitting in" is largely our own perception. Rather than focus on all the differences, I choose to focus on the things we do have in common. Chances are you may have different dreams than they do; for land and animals and self-sufficiency, but I bet still enjoy the small pleasures in life in your own way. I work outside most of the day with animals and plants and dirt and the elements, but I can also go out and spend time with people who don't. When you come in from a long day of hard work do you have a favorite hand lotion that rehydrates and makes your hands feel good again? Next time one of your friends talks about her manicure, tell her about it. You two may have different reasons for using it, but I bet you can both appreciate a good lotion all the same. When one of them says she has gone out for dinner and mentions what she ate, if it's similar to something you like speak up and say so. There are common strings among all humanity that can connect us if we choose to acknowledge and embrace them.

 

[HeatherLynn]

Patnjess I just read your post. You sound in the same situation as me.

I think my problem is everyone I call friend used to be a friend. It has been so long since I really did any of the same things. I stay home with the kids, I do my gardening and my animals. The other people I spend time with now are really not friends but just people I know that I do spend some time with. Mostly because of scouts and ballet. Our kids are friends, we are not.

I think I just need to find a new pond to hang out in. its one of those thoughtful rainy days I guess. My hubby is home so its a good day for it.

 

[3goodeggs]

I gave up face book.
For me a manicure is a nail brush and lava soap.

 

[Germaine_11.20]

Quote:
Very nice way of keeping old friends. There is always something to find in common with people, friends or not.

Through out your life you will change. Your friends will change. Good friendships last through that and some don't. I think it takes effort on both parts to work through changes. It is OK for either of you to let go or just have less contact until you do have more in common.

True friends are few and far between but there is nothing wrong with casual friends, people just enjoying people. And there is nothing wrong with finding MORE friends who you enjoy in this period of your life!

 

[chickintexas]

Quote:
I love my FB. I just weed out all the ones I don't like and keep the ones that are most like me.

I play a couple of apps (Farmville of course! LOL!) and I accepted a lot of friend requests. After a bit, I figured out who I enjoyed and who needed to go.

I only do manicures for special occasions. I end up chewing off my tips because they get on my nerves! I do have to admit that I love pedicures. I only get those about once every 6 months or so, though.

My favorite pair of shoes are my boots. I don't put on makeup every time I leave the house. I think spending 100 bucks on a purse is ludicrous and spending 40 bucks for a t-shirt is insane. Plus, if I like a certain style enough, I'll sew it myself!

 

[chickaddict]

I am strictly a jeans and t-shirt person or sweats.

I believe vanity is far too expensive a habit to have. DH loves me the way I am. I'm good with that.