Ex-husbands, mind frames, feelings, and maturing...

[WriterofWords]

I've mentioned the strife between my ex-husband and I and the financial troubles he's caused me several times throughout our divorce. Several months ago I called him, told him I forgave him for everything, it's just causing me too much mental stress and making me sick. I forgave him his behavior, the child support he owes because I know he will never hold a job and be able to pay it,, his health is very bad and he's trying to get SS disability but with his issues from going AWOL I don't know if he'll get it.

He called me a little while ago because he did something out of character awhile back, he rescued a puppy on the side of the road. That was about 5 weeks ago. He called me because he thinks it has Parvo and he doesn't have the money for a vet and wanted to know what he could do the pup. I supplied with info I've used to treat early stage Parvo, gave him the number to my vet and my feed store who will work with him.

I was shocked he called me, but I was so happy I didn't freeze up right away and start feeling mad, irritated, and put upon. I was happy he called me, rather than just let the puppy die. I hope it's not Parvo, I hope it makes it, I'm glad he was able put aside our differences and call me, but I'm so happy it didn't affect me.

Maybe we are both growing up.

 

[gritsar]

I'm proud of you.

 

[ozark hen]

I hesitated to read this post due to the title..afraid of one that was going to be "topic closed".

I am so glad I read this. Good for both of you! Yes, it shows maturity but mostly on your part since you took the initiative and forgave him. You are so right, it only hurts us...I know I went through it many years ago. I finally woke up and realized I was only hurting myself.

I like the feeling I got after forgiving much more than the other feelings.

 

[joebryant]

WOW! Good for you (on sooooo many, many levels).

 

[scbatz33]

That's cool. I wish I could get to that same point....14 years later and I still have "issues".

It's nice to see folks can get above and beyond those hurts. Good for you!

 

[murphysranch]

Forgiveness does lessen the load, but it does not mean that you are now a pawn to be used again. I was worried that he would try to get you to pay for the parvo treatment or dump the puppy on you.

I know...been thru it, but am happily married for the second time for coming up on 20 years!

 

[WriterofWords]

He knows I can't afford to help him, I would help the pup if I could though. My feed store fellow is going to give me a bottle of inject-able penicillin and the needles for it. I have some pedialite he can have and I told him how to make the rice water and sweeten up some. It sounds like the very early stages so I'm hoping he can be saved. Ken said he would put in the air conditioner switch I bought for me, now I all need is a motor lol,, so the switch does some good!

 

[NurseELB]

I am so happy to hear that! The hurt that piles up in a bad relationship can haunt us for years. I'm glad you were able to let it go, sounds like that's just what he needed to be able to show you he can grow, too!

 

[sourland]

Well done!

 

[theoldchick]

My most difficult life lesson was to learn to let go. Let it all go...so you can step forward and live your life.