Explaining death to a 3 year old

[AHappychick]

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oh that is a good way of putting it.

There is no right way but I agree if you can tell him that she is in heaven that might go over better.

I made the mistake once when my ds asked if the cemetary was heaven , that no it was not it was just where Daddy was burried and one day we would be burried with him. Well the next morning he asked me "is Mommy and Anthony going to be burried? Is Auntie going to die?" Oh it was heartbreaking, I tried to assure him that no one was going anywhere for a long long time, but kids do not understand future very well and I realized that I had said too much too soon. Now I assure him no one is leaving and just try to keep it simple and say that Daddy is in heaven and is his angel now.

 

[rhoda_bruce]

I have several children, but one of them seems to know more than she should. That became evident shortly after she learned to talk. When she was 3 years old, my father-in-law died. She seemed fine. We spoke of it as a family and didn't hide anything from her.
One night we had just finished saying our prayers and she said that she knew where her Papere' was. Then she told me a story about how he got really tired and couldn't stay here anymore so he flew away home. I questioned 'home?' and she said yes that he went back home. I asked if she knew his home and she said yes and her face lit up and she said there was light and it was full of angels. The look on her face was nothing that a 3 year old could repeat......it was just awesome. She claimed to have been there before.

 

[Sallyschickens]

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That just gave me goosebumps...wow! I love stories like that.

 

[rhoda_bruce]

You think you have goosebumps? Try living with the kid.

 

[Sallyschickens]

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[rhoda_bruce]

Death is my old friend. My mom never hide it from me or my sibs. When a dog or cat died, she showed it to us and let us know that they were struck by a truck. Once a bunch of boys drowned in the Gulf and my dad started pulling them out of the water and lining them up on the beach and Mom didn't hide us. She told us they drowned because of the undertoe (tow ???) My great-grandmother died and she brought me to the house and I saw her. I have seen my relatives crying, sometimes bitterly. I have even seen them pass out.
The point is that death is nothing to hide from. It will happen to all of us. It is part of life. It is natural. I don't think people should be hidding death or dying from children.
Now the little guy is told that grandma died, but does he really understand die? Of course......and this is just me....I wouldn't explain death to a child without explaining that we have souls and only our bodies die.

 

[McCord6]

I would say that Grandma moved to Heaven and the only time we can see her is in our dreams or when we close our eyes. We have had 2 deaths in our family this year but both have not seen the kids so I didn't have to do the explaining but to prepare for ahead of time, that's what Hubby and I decided to say to our kids. We are expecting 3 people not to live much longer so we do need to prepare for those type of explaining.

 

[tonini3059]

The only experience with death they have is with fish. He doesn't grasp the heaven thing either.

 

[MandyH]

Me being a nurse I have seen many things in my career. One thing that always makes me crazy is for parents to scare their children about things such as shots or death. You shouldn't threaten your child with "you're gonna get a shot if you're bad" because what does that tell them when they HAVE to have one???!!!! I have always been truthful with my daughter about everything, but on a level she can understand and not be more confused. I don't want her to be the one telling everybody in school where babies come from, but I don't want her to be the one to find out the hard way either. I think living on a farm with many animals and pets makes death more of a realization. Like when the pet kitty gets in the highway or the guppy dies. We have always told our DD that your body is only where it is laid, but your soul lives forever with God in Heaven. She knows about Jesus and God and Heaven as best as a 4 year old can and we always ask her questions and allow her to ask any that she may have. So far she has always told me that she can't wait to go to Heaven and see just how pretty it really is, so I guess we are doing a pretty good job.

 

[FluffyColor]

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oh that is a good way of putting it.

Ditto.