facebook

maybe she needs a little space...

I regret even having my DH on my FB because I cannot make a comment without him stalking and commenting on everything. I hate it and had to get after him about it. Nothing secret about it, shes probably not doing anything wrong, but sometimes guys can be overbearing, controlling, jealous and everyone needs an escape or a space so we can be more our individual selves. Maybe she doesn't want you questioning everything she posts.

In any case, don't assume the worst, just let her have the space without bugging her about it.

 

Yea don't assume the worst. Just wait until she leaves you for one of those guys. Emotional affairs are just has hurtful as physical ones. Mainly because it erodes away the relationship that is supposed to be the most imortant in thier life. From my experience when a woman starts hiding stuff from you there is a reason. She may think it's just harmless flirting and an ego boost but eventually it could lead to more and like I already said it erodes the relationship they have with thier SO.

 

I remember when I first got onto Facebook. I was so excited to see what all these people from highscool looked like after all these years. (I've never been to any reunions) . I wasn't super popular in highschool, but well known enough. Pretty soon I started getting friend requests from quite a few people, alot of them men. I was just curious to see what everyone had done with there life. I would talk back and forth to a few. Most were happily married and just wanted to catch up. Don't get me wrong, I was talking to girls too. I had no ill intentions at all. My husband didn't and still doesn't have a Facebook account. He's just not that interested in it. However, my husbands friend/business partner dose have a Facebook account. He can be a you know what some times, which I have come to get used to. He's really nice, but has alot of weird quirks to him. He started giving my husband a hard time, saying that he saw I was conversing with this guy or that guy. My husband, who is not the jealous type, started questioning me. Every time I was on the computer when he was around, I felt like I was doing something wrong, even though I wasn't. I finally put a vary vague message on FB that people needed to mind there own business and stop causing trouble. Our friend didn't bother my husband after that. After a while, the excitement of seeing all the people on FB wore off. Most of the people that friended me never really talked to me after that, probably just wanted to see how I was doing, like I did to them. Then I remembered, "wait, I hated highschool, and really didn't care for alot of the people that friended me anyway." I kind of went through and got rid of alot of the people that were on there, and even stopped going on FB for awhile. I go through phases, like i do here on BYC. I'm guessing your wife just wants to be able to converse with some of these people without feeling like she is having her every little move watched. I know that is how I felt. My husband and I have alot of mutual friends that we have told to just friend me, so Michael can stay in contact with them too. Every once in a while, my husband will get on my account to see how some of his friends are doing. I don't have anything to hide, but I still kind of feel like it is an invasion of my privacy in a way. Not sure why, maybe its a girl thing, lol.

 

I agree with the others that it's probably not a big deal. After all, the setting ensures that it's not just you who can't see her friends list, it's everyone else too. Some people just don't want to advertise how many friends they have or exactly who their friends are. If it bothers you, you could always consider talking to her about it

 

I would never hide anything from my husband. Not my FB friends, not anything. The way to engender a trusting marriage is to never hide anything from one another.

People don't hide things in their marriage unless they HAVE something to hide. It took me two bad marriages and a lot of crappy boyfriends in my younger years to figure that out. Learn from my experience.

You may want to sit down and talk to your wife and ask her what she is hiding (don't ask her IF she's hiding something because she obviously is.... or she wouldn't be hiding it ... you may wish to just ask her point blank what it is she's hiding). Don't do it in a confrontational way, though, but just be open and willing to hear whatever she has to say.

I could never imagine hiding my FB friends list from my husband.

Of course, we all need our own space and things, and DH and I have our private times away from one another. I think that's healthy in a relationship. But to actively HIDE a list of names from him? Hmmm. Couldn't see myself pullin' that kind of shenanigan on my hubby. I love him too much to do something like that.

The only thing I hide from Farmer Lew are his presents until it's time to open them.

And sometimes if I spend too much money, I don't tell him until later that night or the next day. But I do tell him, and if he ever asked "How much did you spend today?", I wouldn't lie or hide it from him.

 

Quote:I dont have my friends list available for anyone to see...its no-ones business who I am friends with.. with that said my hubby is also on my friends list... he also has my passwords and my computer is always left on so at any point he can go and have a lil lookie...

 

I personally believe hiding anything or not involving your wife or husband in anything in your conjoined life is wrong. They may be innocent things but everything should be open in a marriage. And discluding
or hiding things only leads to suspicions that may be completely unwarranted.
I have FB and my wife does also. Lol we arent friends but if I or she ever wants to look its more than ok. Oh and the only reason we aint friends is cause we can talk to each other at home
I have been with my wife for over 18 years and honestly feel openess is the best way to togetherness

 

Quote:X2.

(Hey Mike, what part of Louisiana are you in? I lived just outside of Baton Rouge for 3 years from 2003-2006.)