Foster Parents/ Adoption

[slackwater]

Hello! Just wanted to chime in as a BTDT...we adopted two boys from foster care. It was a MISERABLE experience - I won't lie. I think it's even worse when you're desperately wanting children of your own and realize, deep down, that you have no control over the lives of children that you come to love.

That being said - it was worth it. I would do it again, to get our boys...but as soon as we finalized the second adoption, we closed our license.

I can say though - yes, take this time to get everything in order. ONce you're at the mercy of DCFS/DSS or whatever, you'll be subject to their manic schedule for court visits, social worker/lawyer visits, parent visits, doc appts, etc - and your time to do anything else dwindles significantly.

 

[nayeli]

@Alice28 sounds like you live in a place most people would envy! I would love to be that close to the ocean!

 

[nayeli]

Hello! Just wanted to chime in as a BTDT...we adopted two boys from foster care. It was a MISERABLE experience - I won't lie. I think it's even worse when you're desperately wanting children of your own and realize, deep down, that you have no control over the lives of children that you come to love.

That being said - it was worth it. I would do it again, to get our boys...but as soon as we finalized the second adoption, we closed our license.

I can say though - yes, take this time to get everything in order. ONce you're at the mercy of DCFS/DSS or whatever, you'll be subject to their manic schedule for court visits, social worker/lawyer visits, parent visits, doc appts, etc - and your time to do anything else dwindles significantly.

How much do they work with you. I mean "their manic schedule"? Do they not schedule things around you, I feel like they kinda should since your taking a child in and caring for it for FREE... the money they provide isn't always enough to even pay for the childs expenses..

 

[slackwater]

You'd be surprised - they don't see it that way. Granted, some case workers and lawyers are AWESOME and always take you into consideration - but I've had plenty that have required me to make last minute changes to my schedule (oh, I didn't tell you there's a visit today and YOU have to transport AND supervise? so sorry!), treated me like a paid employee (geez, you get *all* that money to take care of a little kid that doesn't cost that much - that should cover the time off from work for sickness/behavior in addition to all of their physical needs, right?)...

No, rather than treat you like a volunteer...they take advantage of the fact that you fall in love with the kids and would jump through burning hoops to keep them

 

[Alice28]

@Alice28
 sounds like you live in a place most people would envy! I would love to be that close to the ocean!

It is a very nice place to live. Like I said, my husband won't move! Lol! I can't complain to much, especially when he comes home with fish, crab and abalone!

 

[nayeli]

@slackwater hopefully I get a good caseworker because I won't skip work or school because they couldn't bother to notify me or make plans with me!

 

[Alice28]

You'd be surprised - they don't see it that way. Granted, some case workers and lawyers are AWESOME and always take you into consideration - but I've had plenty that have required me to make last minute changes to my schedule (oh, I didn't tell you there's a visit today and YOU have to transport AND supervise? so sorry!), treated me like a paid employee (geez, you get *all* that money to take care of a little kid that doesn't cost that much - that should cover the time off from work for sickness/behavior in addition to all of their physical needs, right?)...

No, rather than treat you like a volunteer...they take advantage of the fact that you fall in love with the kids and would jump through burning hoops to keep them

I delt with this for six years at the group home I worked at. I kind of figure it will be the same thing with foster care. We will only be doing it until we adopt a few kids. I'm really hoping we don't have to deal with any case workers that are to bad! I'm glad your story has a happy ending though

 

[slackwater]

Quote:
Oh, but you will...or they will threaten to move the kid(s). And you won't want to call their bluff

 

[nayeli]

That would get a person fired! Or cause me to fail a class. If I get into foster care and that happens I'll be the first one to call my governer, mayor, and other representatives and let them know all about the process and direct them to other people with complaints so they can push through reforms!

 

[Alice28]

[@]nayeli I'm glad you got on today! Monday when I took my son to preschool I heard about the tornados on the radio (we don't have tv) and I thought about you and your husband! Glad your ok! I know it's a big state, glad you guys are fine!