Fowltemptress' Poultry Presents: Board Games

[fowltemptress]

Betrayal

Wow. After last month's flurry of board games I almost forgot to post anything this month. We've been busy winterizing coops, putting up fence, and getting used to the idea of having to wear jackets and shoes outside again. And would you believe with all this going on, Katya decided it would be a great time to suddenly discover her maternal instincts? So now I have four ducklings running around in 20 degree weather.

Speaking of families, in honor of this month (what with Thanksgiving and family togetherness and whatnot), I've decided to showcase the game I grew up with - Scrabble!

It was the game that came out every holiday amongst the matriarchs of the family, and as a child I was in awe of the skill, finesse, patience, and killer instinct displayed by my grandmother and all her daughters. Games would last well through the night and on into the wee hours of the morning, and I would lay awake on my cot in the dining room, straining to listen with bated breath until the "Aha!" moment when someone came up with a play that devastated the plans of everyone else at the table, at which point I could breathe normally again as new tiles were drawn, the play discussed, and threats of bringing forth the outdated dictionary were bandied about and, usually, dropped. Then the shuffling would cease, and I in my cot caught my breath as I felt the tension rise again, and the next player was up to produce yet another brilliantly infuriating play. Scrabble was not a word game for those resolute women; it was a game of war and area control, and the goal was complete immobilization and annihilation of the competition. These women had lived and grown up together. They knew each other's strengths, their weaknesses, and they were in it for blood. God, how I couldn't wait to be old enough to be welcomed into that game.

Scrabble will always be a beloved classic, and rightfully so. And one day, God willing, I will finally beat my mother at it!

 

[fowltemptress]

Scrabble

The brown leghorns in my flock do not have individual names. Rather, they're collectively known as "The Italian Mafia." I used to have four leghorns, but they're down to three after a bobcat ran off with one a few months ago. Sigh - having a hit put on you is just a part of mob life, I suppose.

Today, in true mob style, my little crime bosses would like to welcome you to Las Vegas. Presenting Lords of Vegas, where you'll be investing in this tiny city in order to build it up into the den of debauchery and sin that people know and, inexplicably, love today.

If you like Monopoly, you'll love Lords of Vegas. If you hate Monopoly, you'll also love Lords of Vegas. This modern game has a delightful old school feel, with lots of rolling of dice and paper money changing hands at a breakneck pace. The dice is used in an innovative way, representing how much power you wield in a casino, and every turn is jam packed with action as you decide where to invest, whether to initiate a hostile takeover or simply reorganize some casinos, and, yes, even whether to engage in a little (or a lot!) of gambling. The interaction between players is near constant, with very few restraints on what you can trade or bargain with in the game, so Lords of Vegas will satisfy those social gamers who love nothing more than to be mucking about in the plans of the other players. I do so enjoy destroying the hopes and dreams of my friends and family - in board games, that is!

The only thing missing from this version of Las Vegas is the grime, repulsiveness, and feelings of shame and despair.*

I truly believe this game should be right up there in terms of popularity with Catan since it's every bit as fun, easy to learn, and interactive, and has fewer of the issues you'll run into with Catan, such as unlucky dice rolls. Infuriating dice rolls in Lords of Vegas feel thematic and exciting, and it's wild to go from owning only one block in a casino and roll against a player who owns five blocks in the same casino, and wind up with majority power! That shouldn't happen, it should feel wrong and obnoxious, but it does happen, and it feels somehow right and thrilling, even when you're the loser in that play.

Lords of Vegas: Leghorn approved.









*such statements about Hell on Earth - ahem - Las Vegas are the personal opinions of fowltemptress and in no way reflect the opinions or beliefs of Leghorn chickens or other poultry.

 

[fowltemptress]

Lords of Vegas

Be forewarned: this post depicts containment devices that may be disturbing to goosey readers.

Everyone, meet the White Bucket of DOOOOOOM.

The White Bucket of DOOOOOOM is, apparently, the bane of all goosekind, and must be stopped by any means possible.

Roughly half the time the bucket contains items of dubious intent; mysterious, threatening looking things, such as tools for erecting goose enclosures, or bits of plastic and metal trash from cleaning up the property. Attempting to eat these items from out of the White Bucket of DOOOOOOM is accompanied by much honking and flapping from the silly featherless bipedal. Such attempts at dissuading exploratory nibbles are highly suspicious.

Often, the White Bucket of DOOOOOOM is observed to have maliciously attached itself to the featherless bipedal's malformed wing. Then, it's imperative the stupid featherless bipedal be saved, and much honking, cobra necking, and attacks commence.

A successful rescue mission, though a hasty retreat was made as the White Bucket of DOOOOOOM prepared its counterattack.

Inexplicably, the White Bucket of DOOOOOOM also comes bearing food and treats. This is confusing and tasty, and cobra necking intensifies as the flock nibbles unimpeded. Anger floofing is the only practical way to deal with this example of the White Bucket of DOOOOOOM's duplicity.

And for the remaining .0000001 percent of the time, the White Bucket of DOOOOOOM contains Thanos Rising, a Yahtzee-esque game in which players work together to save the Universe.

Thanos Rising is a delightfully overproduced game of dice chucking. You're trying to roll certain faces in order to collect more heroes/equipment to your team and attack an array of grotesque baddies, the likes of whom could only originate from the same hellscape that spawned the White Bucket of DOOOOOOM.

There's no real reason to have included a giant, hideous Thanos figure in this box, yet here it is, and it's fabulous. And all that lovely, lovely dice! Don't pinch me; I never want to wake from this dice-filled fever dream.

Maybe one day the White Bucket of DOOOOOOM will cease to be a terrifyingly confusing container of mystery, and geese and buckets will manage to coexist peacefully.
But until then, there will be much anger floofing.

 

[fowltemptress]

Thanos Rising

You know how sometimes you feel you need a little "splash" in your life?

My splashy Easter egger girls get that feeling sometimes, which is why they're splashing a little paint your way with this week's featured game, Bob Ross: Art of Chill Game!

The Art of Chill is about as relaxing a competitive game can get, as players duke it out against eachother in an epic battle of racing to paint the most chill, serene scenes imaginable by collecting paint and tools, and mastering various painting techniques. This is a game for folks who like set collection, or those who think they'd enjoy Ticket to Ride if it wasn't about boring train routes.

Seriously, why are there so many train themed games? Watching paint dry is a more interesting theme!

In all honesty, I'm never super excited to play this game, in much the same way I was never super excited to come across Bob Ross on television. But sometimes life can hit you like a train - a huge, trundling, aggravatingly boring train - and in those moments it can be a soothing relief to sit back and take a lesson from Bob on the art of chill.



My least favorite color in all of chickendom is blue. To me, it looks dull and depressing, and I don't understand wanting to dilute the flashy, green tinged color of a beautiful black feathered bird. Of course, having this opinion ensured the batch of Easter eggers I ordered from a hatchery would be composed almost entirely of blue birds, including Elise, my original blue splash girl. Elise now has two daughters, ABBA and Drew, and I have to admit they're very distinct amongst the blacks, browns, and reds of most of my other girls, and their soft coloring gives them the impression of being gentle and sweet - an impression that is quickly dispelled if another flock member dares to sit on their preferred section of the roosting bars!

The bearded beauty, ABBA, looking sweet, but secretly plotting to peck me should I ever again photograph her without first offering her a tasty treat.

 

[fowltemptress]

The Art of Chill

It's been a while since I last posted here, mostly because the weather was gross and cold and taking pictures of board games during a winter sleet storm isn't something I'm keen to scratch off my bucket list. Then, when Spring decided she'd come in and gussy up the place a bit, I somehow neglected to recall my porch includes a series of steps, and I managed to go from my house to the pavement in one less than graceful movement, resulting in me bruising and straining the entire everything in my body. But you know what? It was goose breeding season, and goosey love waits for no clumsy gooseherd - and neither will a game of Love Letter.

Love Letter is a game of 16 cards that plays out in what is (very) loosely a strategic, more fun variant of Go Fish. You're delivering a love letter, hoping to get it into the hands of the Princess. Or, as they say in the castle coop of Goslandia, into the wings of Heidi.

Love is in the air! Seriously, don't think too hard on how these creatures without opposable thumbs are managing to write each other love letters.

The cards represent the various characters you can meet in the castle, and if your opponents can guess which card you hold in your hand you're out of the round. If you're left holding the Princess card at the end of the round (or the highest value card), you score her affection and win that round.

The guards keep a close eye on the Princess.

It's really as simple, easy, and quick as it sounds, and it packs a ton of fun in its tiny little deck!

Looks like someone's love letter successfully made it through to Princess Heidi.