Free range husband

[ParadiseFoundFarm]

I don't know...couldn't you have just clipped his wings?

 

[Spookwriter]

Remember that old saying Em, If it walks like a duck and quacks like
a duck...it must be a duck.

I didn't actually call you a cougar yesterday...at least I don't think I did.
Yesterday is hard to remember, cause I'm so old.

But if it walks like a cougar, looks like a cougar...well, it might be a cougar
lurking.

Lets see...who was it that had a homeless Russian trapped on their couch
for two days? Would of been longer, but he escaped when you accidently
left the front door open.

But n....o....I'm not calling names on this one.

What was that old line from Sanford and Son??? "The truth will set you free."

 

[EmtheFishLady]

Quote:
Dear Spookwriter, I can't help but think that you posted this with me in mind....

EM the elder is a COUGAR

No fair! I don't want to be a cougar! I wanna be a fox! I'm not old enough to be a cougar.

 

[Spookwriter]

Uh...Em...maybe you help us define this one.

How does does a woman get to be before becoming
on of those there cougars we keep hearing about?

I know a little bit about fox hunting...back in the day, I
was quite the sportsman.

But maybe you can do your part in protecting all the mens
what hang out here...tell us about this cougar club stuff? How
do we protect ourself, out at night alone and such?

 

[Orchid]

Quote:
Not Em, but I think I can help you out in the cougar deflection department.

1. Cougars are blinded by the shine off a bald head. If you are not naturally balding, a nice sharp razor applied to the head every day or two will ensure cougars stay far, far away.

2. Inner tube around the middle. Cougars will bounce right off.

3. Become VERY set in your ways. Cougars are inherently afraid of men who are inflexible and refuse to change.

4. Sandals worn with socks are a tried and true way to keep cougars at bay.

 

[cackydoodledoo]

Quote:
Not Em, but I think I can help you out in the cougar deflection department.

1. Cougars are blinded by the shine off a bald head. If you are not naturally balding, a nice sharp razor applied to the head every day or two will ensure cougars stay far, far away.

2. Inner tube around the middle. Cougars will bounce right off.

3. Become VERY set in your ways. Cougars are inherently afraid of men who are inflexible and refuse to change.

4. Sandals worn with socks are a tried and true way to keep cougars at bay.

Also if you do that hack/snort/cough like thing like your clearing out the boogers that will deter them too!!!

 

[Orchid]

Being dirt poor also helps. A cougar can smell an empty wallet for miles.

 

[Dragynn]

Mama sez she don't mind the cougars or the foxes prowlin' 'round too much, long as they keep their claws offa her...ummm...rooster.

 

[Buugette]

Quote:
Not Em, but I think I can help you out in the cougar deflection department.

1. Cougars are blinded by the shine off a bald head. If you are not naturally balding, a nice sharp razor applied to the head every day or two will ensure cougars stay far, far away.

2. Inner tube around the middle. Cougars will bounce right off.

3. Become VERY set in your ways. Cougars are inherently afraid of men who are inflexible and refuse to change.

4. Sandals worn with socks are a tried and true way to keep cougars at bay.

Also if you do that hack/snort/cough like thing like your clearing out the boogers that will deter them too!!!

OMG...

 

[EmtheFishLady]

I resent the implication that I'm a cougar.

if anything, I go for older men, not younger. Younger men aren't lured as easily..