I was friends for 6 years with a woman in a field of work that relates to mine. Over a year ago, she began confiding in me about how she was undermining a coworker. Basically, she was sabotaging this person's career over some petty crap. This type of mean behavior made me really disappointed in her & I told her so. So, when I told her that her actions were mean & uncalled for, she told me I was wrong & that I could get ahold of her when I was done being judgemental. I have not contacted her. What I didn't tell her when we "had it out" was that the more I heard about the coworker, the more I connected the dots about some things that she had done to ME. There were times that I ended up with egg on my face & I can now see that she orchestrated this. I think she is jealous of me: I have more $, more education, I am thinner. These things matter to HER. It didn't occur to me in the context of our friendship... TODAY, I ran across a wonderful description of The Behavior of a Frenemy, i.e how they try to make you look bad, act as an emotional vampire and such. I really, really want to send it to her. I think she needs a label for her bad behavior. Should I send this to her? Anonymous mail? An e-mail?