Friend Can't Keep Animals Alive!

[parkerpeeps7]

It definitely sounds like she doesn't read up on taking care of them & also like you said, seems excited about the idea of having all these lovely animals but the responsibility of having them is totally lost on her. Does she seem to thrive on the attention of losing these animals?

 

[Kaitie09]

Quote:
I have a whole family that has the same problem. The only thing they have ever been able to keep alive were their chickens and dog. Everything else lives for a few months, but they dies unexpectedly. They got their daughter (14) a rabbit for her birthday, and a few months later it was just dead. Now these people are very well off and spend an insane amount of money on these animals. They only have 4 chickens but they spent close to $1,000 for a coop, run, and the best food they can get. They truly love these guys, they just have really bad luck.

Now, I have a problem is reptiles and caged birds. I can never keep them alive. I've lost a few to cats, and some that just died. I know better and stay away from those types of animals, and stay with mammals (except the chickens, which are super easy).

 

[mommyofthreewithchicks]

Hmmm it does sound suspicious but... We have had a bunny die with no signs of injury, illness or cause. This bunny was well loved and well cared for. We have had several outside cats disappear and some that have died outside in the cold. I have had a few of the chickens die of unknown causes. Does this mean I am irresponsible? Some have had hawk damage, a dog attack and then two (months apart) have passed on from?

Now I have babied my animals if I think they needed it. I have refused to let any other cat in the house but the one we have had since before kids (he is 15 years old), the outside cat was one that came with the farm and took MONTHS of getting her to trust me enough to pet her and she keeps dropping kittens on the farm. And I have had over 60 chickens at a time and over that many ducks as well so I expect some loss. When anyone gets sick I research, I try and treat. Two dogs both very different but very much loved. For me, my family does bend over backwards (mostly me) for our animals but....
sometimes things happen. For your friend I get worried when you say she threw the dog into the pool with no warning. And then leaves the dog in a small space for most of the time. Would I sell her one of my babies... Probibly not given what you have told us.

 

[zzGypsy]

how involved are her parents in making sure she's educated on the care of these animals and actually doing what's needed?
I don't know that she's a sociopath, but she's certainly lacking in spontaneous empathy. sometimes folk are just seriously undereducated about what to do.

I had animals growing up, and no parental supervision. I happen to be a rabid self-educator, but most folks aren't. we lost animals from improper care when I was a kid, out of my lack of experience. if I hadn't been teaching myself we'd have lost a lot more.

if she's unsupervised on the animal care, and her parents aren't knowledgeable or interested in becoming so, and she's not a self-learner, any animal she takes in is at real risk.

on the goat subject, it's not rare for male goats to get urinary stones. it is aggravated by diet (too much alfalfa for instance) but it can sometimes happen in ideal circumstances, and it may or may not be treatable, depending on the situation. it can kill them. so what she said from the vet sounds approximately correct. and she did take the animal to the vet, which lots of inexperienced and uncaring folks won't do.

maybe what she needs is someone to teach her.

so it looks to me like you've got three choices.

1. a polite "no" to selling her animals, or an excuse like "I don't have any to sell right now".
2. a polite "no" and a reason why (she doesn't educate herself enough before she gets an animal, and that's not fair to the animal), along with some suggestions as to how to be better prepared and educated before she gets the next animal.
3. a little investment of your time in helping her learn what works and how to better educate herself. introduce her to forums like this or BackYardHerds. find out about local 4H programs and encourage her to join. invite her over and show her how you care for your birds and talk to her about what matters, how to get help, how to consider what the animal feels and needs, how you go about educating yourself.

the first will save your animals from harm.
the second and third may save many other animals from harm as well.

if she really had an emotional attachment to the goat she lost, you've got a window of time where you may be able to get her to pay attention and do things differently. it may not work, but maybe its worth a try. I realize you're not close friends, but maybe for the sake of the animals, it's worth a little of your time. and if she's not interested in learning, you'll have your answer about the cause of all the animal deaths.

 

[CALI CHICK]

Is there a local 4-H which your friend could join? We joined 4-H and got involved with projects for the animals that we were interested in getting. My son takes part in the Rabbit Group, Poultry Group and Dog Obedience Group. Not only does 4-H help kids learn the proper care of their animals, but it connects you to people that can answer questions or concerns when they arise.

And, 4-H is a great place to learn leadership and communication skills.

I truley love 4-H (and I'm not even a kid...just a 42 year old Mom!)

 

[secuono]

Quote:
I told a friend exactly that about getting some ducks from me. And I didn't care if she was offended or not.



Quote:
Yup.



=============
I agree as well. Tell her straight up she has an issue! No way would I sell her anything.

 

[arabianequine]

When I got started raising calfs/cows I lost one and I tell you I did not loose another! I got medication needed, tubed the following calfs if needed-to get fluids in them, taking their temp several times a day, giving shots if needed, giving keo-pectate several times a day/like every 2 hours to several calfs at a time not fun at all and messy as ever but if that is what it took that is what I did. It is a lot of work but they are worth it too. It is not acceptable. This is just an example...not her case probably.

You learn and figure out what is wrong and how to fix it or don't own animals!

Drives me crazy to see animals suffer and be mistreated. They can't talk!

 

[CluckyJay]

Something about grain and male goats. I forget.
I only have dairy goats, LOL. The ladies seem to be easier.

 

[MinxFox]

how involved are her parents in making sure she's educated on the care of these animals and actually doing what's needed?
I don't know that she's a sociopath, but she's certainly lacking in spontaneous empathy. sometimes folk are just seriously undereducated about what to do.

I had animals growing up, and no parental supervision. I happen to be a rabid self-educator, but most folks aren't. we lost animals from improper care when I was a kid, out of my lack of experience. if I hadn't been teaching myself we'd have lost a lot more.

if she's unsupervised on the animal care, and her parents aren't knowledgeable or interested in becoming so, and she's not a self-learner, any animal she takes in is at real risk.

on the goat subject, it's not rare for male goats to get urinary stones. it is aggravated by diet (too much alfalfa for instance) but it can sometimes happen in ideal circumstances, and it may or may not be treatable, depending on the situation. it can kill them. so what she said from the vet sounds approximately correct. and she did take the animal to the vet, which lots of inexperienced and uncaring folks won't do.

maybe what she needs is someone to teach her.

so it looks to me like you've got three choices.

1. a polite "no" to selling her animals, or an excuse like "I don't have any to sell right now".
2. a polite "no" and a reason why (she doesn't educate herself enough before she gets an animal, and that's not fair to the animal), along with some suggestions as to how to be better prepared and educated before she gets the next animal.
3. a little investment of your time in helping her learn what works and how to better educate herself. introduce her to forums like this or BackYardHerds. find out about local 4H programs and encourage her to join. invite her over and show her how you care for your birds and talk to her about what matters, how to get help, how to consider what the animal feels and needs, how you go about educating yourself.

the first will save your animals from harm.
the second and third may save many other animals from harm as well.

if she really had an emotional attachment to the goat she lost, you've got a window of time where you may be able to get her to pay attention and do things differently. it may not work, but maybe its worth a try. I realize you're not close friends, but maybe for the sake of the animals, it's worth a little of your time. and if she's not interested in learning, you'll have your answer about the cause of all the animal deaths.

I have been thinking about where her parents are in all of this...I do know that when her last chicken (who she also really loved) was killed by a hawk she returned home to find her dad with a sack and he was digging a whole in the backyard. She asked him what he was doing and he finally told her her chicken was dead and that a hawk got it. When she told me about her goat dying she started crying.

Our agriculture program at school would probably know of a local 4H program, in fact our school started raising chickens in 2011 and has worked with goats plus many other animals so my friend should probably talk with the agriculture teacher about animal care and also backyard herds and this website would be pretty helpful.

It probably wouldn't hurt to visit her house and check out her setup to see if that was good and other things. She used to be in our church youthgroup so maybe she will come back to the youthgroup since this guy who was ugly to her apologized and doesn't come much anyways. Then on youthgroup trips I could hang with her and talk to her about animals.

I do have her phone number so I could even text her about stuff. Hopefully I can help her out. I really hope if it is just bad luck that it goes away or doesn't rub off on me lol!

 

[zzGypsy]

I have been thinking about where her parents are in all of this...I do know that when her last chicken (who she also really loved) was killed by a hawk she returned home to find her dad with a sack and he was digging a whole in the backyard. She asked him what he was doing and he finally told her her chicken was dead and that a hawk got it. When she told me about her goat dying she started crying.

Our agriculture program at school would probably know of a local 4H program, in fact our school started raising chickens in 2011 and has worked with goats plus many other animals so my friend should probably talk with the agriculture teacher about animal care and also backyard herds and this website would be pretty helpful.

It probably wouldn't hurt to visit her house and check out her setup to see if that was good and other things. She used to be in our church youthgroup so maybe she will come back to the youthgroup since this guy who was ugly to her apologized and doesn't come much anyways. Then on youthgroup trips I could hang with her and talk to her about animals.

I do have her phone number so I could even text her about stuff. Hopefully I can help her out. I really hope if it is just bad luck that it goes away or doesn't rub off on me lol!

I think that's excellent!
don't worry about bad luck rubbing off on you... sometimes things happen that we can't control, but most of good luck is just good preparation and most of bad luck is bad preparation and failure to think ahead. you sound well prepared and interested in becoming more so. your luck will be just fine