Friends? Does anyone have TRUE ones? Venting!

[chickensioux]

I really hope this doesn't go anywhere negatively but....
I found out today that one of my friends that I truly trusted and believed in, thought was truly there for me, thinks that I should not have all these animals and has been backing off of the friendship because of it. When I asked her about it, that's pretty much what I found out. End of friendship, end of my rant, thanks for listening.......

 

[mgw]

WOW, that has got to be a drag. A friend is supposed to stick with you come hell or high water. Sorry to hear it.

 

[Rammy]

Whats it matter to them how many animals you have? Are you properly taking care of them? Do you have so many you would be considered a candidate for Hoarders? I have about twenty animals at my house and they all are fed, watered, and taken care of daily before I take care of myself. My familly also thinks I have to many but its not thier house, is it? If your "freind" was backing off from you for that reason, sounds to me there was more to it than just that. That sounds like bullpoop to me. Sorry. I know losing a freind can hurt.

P.S. Just read your list at the bottom. Thats alot, but like I said, you are taking care of them, then whats the problem?


Rammy

 

[cluckcluck42]

Sorry your friend sucks so bad.

 

[Orchid]

Have you asked your friend what the issue is with the animals? It may be due to some kind of misperception on her part that could be easily remedied with an explanation.

 

[Bat Cave Silkies]

I'm sorry you had to experience this....
That being said...just yesterday I was wondering why you're never on BYC anymore....I was wondering what happened to you. You know you're welcome at the "NC" thread....there's alot that's been going on there lately. BTW are you coming to the Morganton Show??? we BYC'ers are having a big "get together" there~~check out the thread

 

[featherbaby]

Everybody makes judgements on others based on how THEY see things. What's right for you isn't right for her. The sad part is that she couldn't "agree to disagree" on this point and continue on with the friendship. I'm assuming that was the real reason, it might not be. In any case, we can't make someone like or approve of us. We can only be the kind of friend we want to have and look for others that feel the same way. I have several friends whose views are different from mine. I just stay within the realm of their likes/dislikes when we are together. Then when I feel like exercising my passion for chickens, I go out with my 'chicken friends'. That way I don't expect too much of any one person. After all, no one can be just like me. As hard as it may be, sometimes we just have to move on. I wish you well in your search for new friends, that can be very exciting and rewarding.

 

[Ema]

Quote:
in the last year I have have a few of these incidents, talking behind my back, making fun of me, bad mouthing me to other people, using me, you name it. And these are people who I trusted and thought were really good close friends. After the third case of this I felt pretty low, now I cold care less, frankly if they want to act like they are in highschool and act so immaturely, by all means go for it, but do it without me in the picture.

I am a very forgiving person, but I do not take kindly to people bad mouthing me and talking behind my back. I find that people who are close minded to the whole farming, or hobby farm seem to be the ones who make the most ignorant comments or better yet act ignorant.

My SIL who frankly I do not get along with for the specific reasons mentioned above, seems to think (say) In her own words not mine, that we are rednecks raising our kids to be ignorant and failures in life because for one we live far from a city, two, we live on a farm, three, we have animals (she thinks chickens are disgusting and dirty and nothing will ever change her mind) and four, we have a septic tank and a well. Apparently my way of living is super disgusting to her, who btw lives in an apartment that is run down and in a terrible neighbourhood which almost every month she is late for her rent because she cannot afford it, she had her house repo'd same with her car, her Dh is a lazy but who refuses to work or watch the children, or clean or well do anything else but eat and drink and act like he is still a bachelor. they barely afford groceries let alone medication when one of the kids is sick, yet she is willing to dump the kids off on someone they barely even know for a trip to vegas to gamble.

Yet my fully paid house, and car, the animals that provide me with food, my happy well educated kids, and my great relationship with my dh is disgusting!!?? Now there is definitely wrong with the way she and the three friends I no longer speak to see life.

So with that said, if you are happy, to heck with what they think, better for you and in the end she will realize how wrong she was. I learned that people behave like this because they are unhappy with thier lives, instead of knit picking at theirs they prefer to do it to other people.

 

[feather and mountain man]

True friends are hard to find. I find most of my friends over the years are fair weather friends. I found out who my real friends were when I got divorced. I still am friends with the fairweathers. I just don't call on them very often. Chin up and enjoy your animal friends (they don't judge) your real friends my be the last people you would expect!

 

[mandelyn]

My best friend from 7 years ago scammed me on my own horse by selling him to a dealer when I moved to Germany. He was supposed to go to a woman that wanted him for her kids, and if she didn't come get him, back to his former owner. It was all arranged. She was so underhanded, she ended up divorced, lost two friends, myself and the old owner of my horse. Bad state of affairs. She tried talking to me after I got back from Germany but I told her I knew what she did. She tried to explain that she needed money. I was like... off MY horse, that I was paying care for? Friendship over. At least I got closure. But I feel guilty over my horse, still. Who knows where he ended up. All because of her.

I also had a friend stolen from me by another woman. That was weird. But obviously if a friend could be stolen from you, it's not that great of a friendship. But we did everything together, hung out almost every day. Then this other woman weaseled in, and that was that. Course I didn't put up much of a fight... I had never heard of such a thing.

So now... I have a lot of acquaintances, but I'm not getting close to anyone for awhile. I mean... true friends are hard to find. Seems harder these days, never in my life have I had the issues I have had in the last 10 years. My best friend now is my husband, and we do everything together now and have that bond going that's lacking with all the so-so friends.

Even have had people try to come between my husband and I. All that did was increase our bond and reliance on each other. One woman, that likes other woman and has a wife, wanted him to.... donate... for children. I was like... over my dead body. And he felt the same. Still she tried to convince him and he had to end that friendship. Another girl thought she could steal him. Nope. He's no dummy. He's my only true friend, and the only one I can trust on a much deeper level than anyone else.

Until someone else comes along who has some morals and good character, without any underhanded shady stuff, and with a true desire to be actual legitimate friends, he's the only friend I'm going to have.

Sucks the fun right out of girls night, when you have to watch what you say, make sure everyone is getting a long, watch out for drama and try to prevent it without getting involved. I still go, but I sure miss the old days when you could kick back and just have fun. I can't understand the need for drama and the under handed cr**. Can't people just chill out and be real and have fun? Fun is not over rated. Maybe people are watching too much Jersey Shore or Desperate Housewives.

Met a girl once, not too long ago. We had the same number of the same breed of dogs. Same passion about them. Read the same books, had the same beliefs and ideas. Lot's in common. Seemed promising. But she was crazy. I mean, she was a lunatic. Panic attacks over everything. Talking about since the addition of me, now we had enough women to be a Desperate Housewives group. And then the drama started. Oh lord. Ended that, quick and fast. It was almost unreal. And a shame, I mean I haven't had that much in common with someone in a long time.

But the drama. Can't deal with it. Just be real, genuine, positive, is it really so hard?