Gah!! My ex-husband is an idiot!

[Mahlzeit]

She is definitely not alone. My fiance was dating her ex for 3 years living together for one as soon as he found out she was pregnant wanted nothing to do with her. Her daughter is 6 now we've been together since she was 4 and she calls me dad. He has never seen her or wanted to. Tries to get out from paying child support too by working off the books.

 

[marktoo]

Working off the books tends to bite you in the butt at some point. We can only hope!

 

[oldrooster]

She is definitely not alone. My fiance was dating her ex for 3 years living together for one as soon as he found out she was pregnant wanted nothing to do with her. Her daughter is 6 now we've been together since she was 4 and she calls me dad. He has never seen her or wanted to. Tries to get out from paying child support too by working off the books.

you can call the IRS on him that's how Al Capone got put in prison is for tax evasion....

 

[Mahlzeit]

It's not worth it. I'd rather he had no part and we take care of her ourselves.

 

[SpeckledDottie]

Sorry to hear things are so frustrating. My only advice: Stop expecting the ex to be something they are not. It will save you loads of frustration. If they were flaky/sporadic before, they will keep being flaky/sporadic. You cannot make them be someone they are not. The best revenge is living well and happy without them. Hope the new year brings happier times!

 

[Shan30]

I grew up with one of these dads that spent over 10 years fighting my mom for custody just to hurt her not because he wanted us. Always late to pick us up if he ever showed up. Constantly promising and never delivering. Emotionally abusive, constantly making promises he never kept, evading child support, you name it... Moral of the story, mom was all we ever needed. She remarried a great guy but even if it had just been her, we knew we were loved and that was all that mattered. We both turned out fine.

You daughter knows that you love her, you want her, are proud of her and are there for her. That's what counts.

Good job mom

 

[StruckBy]

Here's from another girl who remembers well that age with a fairly dead-beat dad that wouldn't show up to pick me up for visitation half the time, had to have his paycheck encumbered by the state in order for mom to get the miniscule child support payment, etc. (In his case, the state actually did hunt him down through his SS# at one point when he hadn't paid in forever...it wasn't a lot of money but it made a huge difference at some key rough spots). You know what I remember from the whole thing? That mom was awesome. She never said a bad word about him but you better believe I figured it out for myself when I was just a little bit older than your daughter. You're doing the right thing and you'll reap the benefits with your daughter for the rest of your lives.

 

[smudge]

I grew up with one of these dads that spent over 10 years fighting my mom for custody just to hurt her not because he wanted us. Always late to pick us up if he ever showed up. Constantly promising and never delivering. Emotionally abusive, constantly making promises he never kept, evading child support, you name it... Moral of the story, mom was all we ever needed. She remarried a great guy but even if it had just been her, we knew we were loved and that was all that mattered. We both turned out fine.

You daughter knows that you love her, you want her, are proud of her and are there for her. That's what counts.

Good job mom

Thanks!

Here's from another girl who remembers well that age with a fairly dead-beat dad that wouldn't show up to pick me up for visitation half the time, had to have his paycheck encumbered by the state in order for mom to get the miniscule child support payment, etc. (In his case, the state actually did hunt him down through his SS# at one point when he hadn't paid in forever...it wasn't a lot of money but it made a huge difference at some key rough spots). You know what I remember from the whole thing? That mom was awesome. She never said a bad word about him but you better believe I figured it out for myself when I was just a little bit older than your daughter. You're doing the right thing and you'll reap the benefits with your daughter for the rest of your lives.

Well, Dad came out to visit with DD for New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. He hadn't seen her for over a year and a half - since he moved in with his sister in MN.

He had enough sense (for once) to wear the scarf she'd sent him for Christmas.
She made him a Rainbow Loom bracelet with beads in the color of his home country's flag, but he told her that he wouldn't wear such a thing.
Good thing she has a grandfather who is more clueful about such things.

 

[Ezs Choukies]

This really gets my goat. I don't know how many cases I deal with for identity theft a year. So, if you are visiting from another country or or have no SS# you can't fish in Florida. Not buying that. The last four is usually sufficient for most things and do they really track down scores of deadbeat dads/moms or criminals using their own SS# to go fishing legally? Off topic but I just had to say it.

I think these deadbeats seek to exact revenge on their exes by not paying support of course the children get the worst of it.  Sure can't have much love in his heart if he's willing to give up visitation for a few bucks, with a PhD he should be able to make ample money.

Something that may interest you, won't be of much help though.  I went to visit my daughter in Florida last year & wanted to do some fishing. When I went to get a nonresident license the clerk wanted my social security number, caught me off guard, I refused, the clerk got huffy & I stormed off to find a manager.  The manager said "Yes, it was required info"  but didn't know why.  I told her that they shouldn't be asking for info verbally, as we are supposed to be protecting this info because there are those among us that are able to do a lot of damage with such info.  Bought the license from a different store at a later date by writing the # on paper, still wasn't happy about it.  When I got home I wrote a nastygram to Florida fish & game & they told me that the # is required in an effort to track down deadbeats, I think they said it was required by the Feds.  California doesn't require it from residents, don't know about nonresidents & I don't know what the difference would be.  I'm just concerned about having my # out there cause the darned hackers are becoming more & more sophisticated all the time, don't want anyone stealing my identity.       

 

[Mahlzeit]

Thanks!


Well, Dad came out to visit with DD for New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. He hadn't seen her for over a year and a half - since he moved in with his sister in MN.

He had enough sense (for once) to wear the scarf she'd sent him for Christmas.
She made him a Rainbow Loom bracelet with beads in the color of his home country's flag, but he told her that he wouldn't wear such a thing.
Good thing she has a grandfather who is more clueful about such things.

Wow no offense but he sounds like a real jerk. I mean come on her can't wear the bracelet she made for the 2 days he's visiting with her? Hopefully she had a good visit with her dad and she was happy. What are the colors of his home country?