Gah! Potty training?!

[ky chicks]

You are the best judge of when your son is ready. I think the most important thing at any age is to have the whole thing stress-free. We got out the potty when our boys turned 1. By about 18 mos. I let them sit on it any time I went into the bathroom. Usually nothing happened, but occasionally it did, and we cheered and sang and made a big deal. We also let the boys go diaper-less for a while every day and I could catch them right away to get to the potty. I think it really helped them recognize the sensation of having to go, and make the connection to go to the potty when they felt it. Of course, I had to clean pee off of the carpet sometimes, and some people thought "naked time" was weird! Also, my kids learned to pee sitting down because I was the one at home with them all day. Switching to standing up wasn't a problem at all. Your son is obviously trying, so that's great! Don't be discouraged--you'll get advice that helps and some that doesn't, but don't let anyone pressure you or your son to hurry with the potty training! If he's stressed out about it right now, maybe forget about it for a week or two, then try again. Relax and take your time.

 

[Sunny Side Up]

Yup, I agree with all of the above. You can lead your little horse to the potty, but you cannot make him poop in it. He will certainly do so when he's fully capable, when all the little neurons are synapsing in order, when his body & mind are coordinated sufficiently to have the control. Why add emotional stress & pressure to the mix?

How annoying to have ANYone else pushing you to potty train your son. Work up a list of stock replies you can give anyone who asks, a suitably strange & smart-alecky way to say MYOB, like "He's been so busy in his lab working on a cure for cancer that I didn't want to interrupt his concentration by making him use the potty."

One thing I wish I had taught my 3 boys is to pee sitting down at home, standing up for public toilets. I'm not a guy but I think peeing while standing up is overrated and leads to lots of missed targets, pee all over the back of the seat, pee on the floor, and seats left UP. Why not take the few extra seconds to SIT while peeing at home? There will be plenty of other opportunities to pee while standing in public restrooms and behind bushes in the woods.

 

[gudrin]

I have a little girl that will be three in March, so can't help you much about the mechanics of potty training a little boy. However, don't stress about it. If you do, your little boy will pick up on your mood and may not want to use the potty. I've also heard that little boys start later and/or take longer to potty train than little girls. You'll know when he's ready. People have these magic numbers in their heads about when a child should be potty trained. They mean nothing. If people give you flak about it, just tell them, "We've got it figured out as to when we would like to potty train." Say it as nicely as possible. I had a lot of people saying I should start potty training when my daughter was only a year old! Including my own mother. We went our own way about it.

Case in point: My daughter is potty trained. She pretty much did it by herself when she was ready, including overnights*. She has a friend that's 10 months older than her that's still having problems. His parents have pushed him and pushed him, but it didn't work very well. He's usually okay during the day now, but overnights are still spent in pull ups or diapers. I also have a neighbor that didn't potty train until a little girl at day care told her, "Three year olds don't wear diapers!" and then she was fine. It all depends on the kid.

*Okay, so the overnights were sort of an accident. We went camping with my parents and her pull ups didn't get packed. I didn't discover this until we were getting her ready for bed the first night. The nearest town was miles away and through construction. No accidents since then though!

 

[Bantimna]

Quote:
Amen to this!

Ditto! I agree, Good Luck

 

[fordmommy]

It sounds like you're doing everything right. Each kid is different. I've got 2 boys. When the oldest was 2yrs.....I had bought a new package of diapers on a Friday. And on that next Monday, he woke up and said...."Mommy I no need diapies no more. I need big boy undies." And I kid you not.....that was it! He used the potty every time. Not one single accident.

Now my youngest is another story. He needed convincing. He too would sit forever on the pot and nothing. But that's okay. At least he's on the pot. Every time you go, take him with. It took my youngest almost a year of this. And there were a few night time accidents with him too. If that happens, go to your local Walgreens and buy some washable bed pads, like what they have in the hospital. They run a $5-$10. But you reuse them. That way you're not changing sheets every time. Just the pad.

P.s. I also told my kids that they can't go to school until they used the potty. They both were looking forward to school, so that helped. Good luck!

 

[horsejody]

I learned that the easiest way to potty train them is to put them in cloth diapers. You would be surprised at how quickly a child becomes "ready" when it is no longer comfortable when you go in your pants. Having a wet rag tied to your butt is powerful motivation.

 

[The Chicken People]

True true Horsejody! I also told DD to pull out all those underwear I bought him so he can feel when he is wet!
My neice trained her daughter at 10 months!

 

[horsejody]

Yup, potty training goes real fast with cloth diapers. Those disposable ones just keep them too dry and comfortable. Don't think that the manufacturers aren't aware of that. Everytime they improve the disposables, the kids take longer to potty train, and they make more money. It wasn't that many years ago that it was unheard of to see a 3 year old not potty trained. There are lots of them around now.

 

[Amethyste]

I worked in child care for many years.... and my advice is:

The child will show you when they are ready. You WILL know. Not everyone's child is the same by anymeans...and what works for one sibling doenst mean it will for the next.

For me, when I was working with parents on potty training, the BEST thing I could tell them is:

Don't reward with food, or bribe with food. It doesnt really sink in as well as other methods, and really, kids have enough food related issues as it is these days. Forget the M and M's, cookies etc.

The very best thing I found was the little tattoos you can get that you apply with hot/warm water. See, kids dont have great memories at that young age. The taste of the candy is fleeting. The tatoos tho stay on. And you can use them to positively reinforce the good job they did. I would take the kids in and if they tried, they got a little one...heart or whatever. Then when we put the tattoo on their hand they could see it, touch it and be reminded that they got it going potty. All my parents would see the tattoo and tell their kids " WOW!! You tried today!! " It sank in a lot longer than the candies.

If they actually did something? They got the BIG special tattoo in the special box...it had spiderman, transformer, hello kitty...whatever is their big thing. I would catch the kids patting the tattoo all day long saying "Potty!!" and they would show their parents. They were so proud!!

Also boys are a lot easier to train than girls in my opinion. I have to say....after PTing toddlers for 20 years? Ya boys are easier lol I think cos they have something to hold on to. Another trick I used was to get one of those bathtub non-slip thing that you stick on the bottom of the tub. I looked for ones like a bullseye and put that in the toilet, I would then ask the boys to hold on and aim for the bullseye! It worked a lot!! I do know a few mothers took that trick home and told the dads to do that too lol

The other boy trick was to throw a few cheerios in the water. Then ask them to sink the target!

But yes, its so important I think to have the corresponding parent take them in and show them how to be a"guy or a girl" in the bathroom. It really sinks in...being a role model and all that. Letting them pick out their own "big kid" underwear is a good idea as well. Let them feel the wet...it realyl does make it sink in a bit better.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

I agree with a lot that has been written, but not all. Some children are ready well before two; others not until well after three. It should not be a stressful, unpleasant experience. As with all learning, you want the child to be motivated, and you want the child to learn and understand. I would recommend getting the book Potty Training in Less Than a Day, and reading through it now. It will give you some specific things to look for to determine readiness, and it will teach you how to teach your child.

The basic technique is to set aside a day (or two) and have an intensive, but fun "potty training bootcamp." You teach your child, he will teach a doll that can wet. Every time there is success, they get a salty reward and as much liquid as they like (the more the better). When there is an accident, both the child and doll get to practice the correct way of getting to the potty on time (and you need to make sure he understands that this is practice, NOT punishment), and they also get the salty and liquid rewards (which make him need to go more frequently). So, you do this all day or for several hours for a couple of days--long enough that he knows and understands WHAT to do. After that, it is up to him to decide when he wants to wear big boy undies and go potty and when he wants to wear diapers and not worry about it. Yes, you will still remind him that he may need to go potty when he first gets up or a short while after a meal or snack--times that he typically might need to go, but ask as a question--"do you want to go potty?", not given as a directive.

Some children/families do better with a potty chair; others with a toddler-sized seat on the toilet.

Another thing that helps a lot is to discard your modesty and make sure he comes into the bathroom with you and daddy. Tell him what you are doing. Mention that when he is ready he will go potty instead of using a diaper.

I will disagree with making a big deal out of him using the potty versus not. With some kids this works, and with others it is actually stressful to be given lots of praise, a simple matter-of-fact approach is often less so. This doesn't mean don;t praise your child--it just means keep it low-keyed--instead of loud clapping and jumping up and down saying "yipee!" rather that you smile and quietly say--"what a big boy you're becoming."