Getting kids to WANT to help raise animals

[ella]

I grew up on the farm I now manage. I hated working in the garden, and while I took care of the animals- they never went without the necessities- I didn't go the extra mile and really think about what they needed and wanted.

So what changed? I became invested in the farm when I really owned it. I researched which crops to buy, where to put them, how to irrigate and all that stuff. Before this, my mother did all that stuff and I was completely dependent on her to tell me where to plant, how far apart to put the seeds, etc... I was just manual labor and it was incredibly frustrating.

Having the responsibility of planning and than carrying out the plan changed everything for me.

I can't say that if I had that responsibility at a younger age it would've been the same; it may be that your son is still just too immature. Looking back, I don't think I had any really long term vision, any ability to plan and carry out until I was about 15. It may be that your son is still just too immature, he may just need time to develop, I don't know.

I sure don't envy your responsibility.

So that's been my experience anyway, I hope it can help you.

 

[Critter Crazy]

My Kids love all the animals, but they only help out once in a while. I dont mind tho, cause all the animals are mine, and there fore mine to take care of. They have asked for their own pets, but the rule is, if they cant help mom take care of the animals we have, then they cannot get their own pets.

 

[SeaChick]

Wow this is a tough one. I have to say that I am on the same page as poppycat.... I thought her response was spot on.

My daughter is 10. She got her (beloved) kitten almost 3 years ago and for the first two years it was a struggle to get her to remember to feed, water, change the litter. She'd complain and be selfish, rather lie in bed reading than get up and feed the hungry cat. We threatened to give the cat away several times when it got really bad (this would have been awful for us to do, as we love the cat as much as she does!) and each time she would take it much more seriously for a few months.

She's been getting much better at taking care of the cat, but was still being pretty lazy/lax about her other chores over the winter. We made a chore list for the fridge and she has to check off each item each day. It helps her not to feel so overwhelmed about remembering what to do. And if she gets stars on all 7 days (meaning she did each chore) she gets her allowance. If she gets 6 stars she's docked a portion of the allowance. 5 stars no allowance. <4 stars she PAYS us. It has really helped.

When she started wanting chickens, (as much as WE want them, too!) we said, I don't know, you haven't been doing your chores very consistently.... and what do you know. She has been EXEPLARY for the last month or so.





Good luck!

 

[mom'sfolly]

One of things that has worked with my older son is delayed reward. My son wanted to do swim team and piano as early as kindergarten. I did not think he was ready nor did I know if he really wanted them. He started swim team after first grade and piano during second. Because it was something he really wanted and waited for he values them greatly. Even the threat of no more lessons will get the practice done.

In terms of animals, you probably can't make your child interested. I would agree that you take the privledge of animal interaction away from your son. If you don't feed or walk the the dog you don't pet or play with the dog, if you can't care for the chickens; you won't be allowed to eat the eggs. If you hurt an animal out of carelessness, you have no animal interaction for a set period of time. My 9-year-old has been very resposible with the chickens, but does need constant reminders. One of the things I've said but never had to go through with is "if you forget to feed the chickens again, you will not get to eat lunch, dinner, whatever". It sounds harsh, but a missed meal isn't going to hurt my son. The animals rely on him for food, and he needs to understand the consequence of no food. That being said...the cats get fed by whoever is handy. Sometimes mom, sometimes dad, sometimes kids.

In terms of what someone else said, taking away the privledges and letting the child know he will be treated as younger than he is because he cannot be trusted to behave in a responsible way. It may be that a week or so of hanging with mom at school instead of being allowed to come home on his own may be enough to bring him around.

Being a boy, he may not want to show how badly he feels about causing an injury that killed the duck. What looks like no big deal may come out as bad attitude in the coming days or weeks. Or questions weeks from now about what happens when things die, or sleepless nights. My kids constantly surprise me with the way they think. They are kids, and sometimes a + b = 47.

Good Luck!

Karen

 

[bjcoop]

Just adding my 2 cents.... (sorry about long post) Titibebs, I totally emphathize. My DD, who is 12--going on 29--is the same way. First she asked for a dog, firmly declaring she would take care of it. Who has ended up doing so? us. We all love the dog. Same with the chicks last year. I have taken over the hens and now they are my hobby! (I have 4 week variety chicks growing in the nursery). Who knew they could be so much fun!
Anyway, we have had to cajole, nag, etc., to get her to do stuff. We are foster parents (no kids at the moment), not lenient, and I am lucky enough to work at home (writer), so I am here for her. It's now my opinion that while she can enjoy the animals (she loves them), she cannot have another of her own--at least until she matures a little more. We have done the reward board (it does work) until she became bored with it. It now may be time to start again--summers coming.

What has made the most impact on our nearly gifted, but extremely immature dd is, believe it or not, giving her more responsibility! She has had to earn it tho. She had to even write up a pledge on what she would do if she would be allowed the new responsibility/goal. She loves getting to make decisions on when and how to manage the responsibilities we give her. We have started small tho. For her, the dog/hens/chicks were just not it (yet), and that's okay with us. By letting her get her feet wet, more freedom, more responsibility, and handling some mistakes she is starting to "come around."

Luckily, the chickens are somewhat of a stress-reliever for my DH and I. It is hard to raise kids today, the influences they are exposed to today (radio, tv, videog) do not help--esp. for an only child.