Going to another state...would it work?

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by EweSheep, Jun 1, 2012.

  1. EweSheep

    EweSheep Flock Mistress

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    OK since you all know about my previous post about the job losses, hubby was fed up, as he puts it "everyone talking about alot have said they might have to move out of state if it comes down to it and I'm in agreement with it". I know he was upset that the company is folding up and Illinois state is going to the dogs but my own immediate family live here in the state and I hate the thought of moving. His job track is not great either, he never held a job for more than two years (this job he has now, it will be two years) and he was recently DX with Asperger's. Job security is not his strongest trait but he is not afraid of work.

    I would like to hear from you all, with spouses had to move out of state for work, did you go with him and how long did it last? Did you regret moving? I swore I would never move out of state because of bad experience in southern states in particuar and when I was growing up, Dad transferred alot almost moving every year. It is hard on us as kids and I don't like the idea of being uprooted. And my extended families are my security blanket as well, if something goes down, we all support each other.

    We have our own house, and cant afford to take a short sale or "get up and go" kind of thing like hubby thinks he can. We have excellent credit and I am not planning on blowing it. And housing market is very poor here, houses will be standing for over a year and we need to put alot of money in this house to fix it to be presentable. I'd rather stay here, do some work little by little in what we can afford or take an offer that someone would pay off the loan and we can walk away owing nothing.

    If and when we do move, we will rent the next house, probably not chicken friendly or lucky to find one that is. Hubby does not want to rent but I can not see ourselves buying and selling a house every two to three years. We live in this house for 8 years and he always had found jobs since he lived here and my turn to support him when he is between jobs which not a problem at all.

    I can not be any different than a trucker's wife except hubby may have added expenses of his own, living arrangements, moving, etc. and I will take care of things around here until I know for sure he is stable or know the job is secure for years to come (HA! Most companies are not around a long time).

    I have NO idea where he wants to go but to "go far away and get away from here" was his comment. It may be an underlying problem but that's another story!

    So what did you all do????
     
  2. dela1991

    dela1991 Songster

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    After being retired for 5 years, my husband took a contract job with the federal govt. It is about 2 hours from where we live. We had no intention of moving as I work here and could not transfer to another state. Nor would I want to. I am towards the end of my career and am in a good spot. My husband leaves on Sunday night and comes back on Thursday night. He rents an apartment near his job. His living expenses take a chunk out of his pay, but it is still worth it monetarily. It has worked out for him because he was somewhat bored at home while I worked. He had a lot of hobbies but I guess not enough to keep him busy. The chickens are my thing.

    As far as the living separately part of the week, it has been OK. I keep pretty busy between work and my animals. He works four 10 hour days so he time alone in his apartment is short. He hopes to work till I retire which will be in 6 years at the longest.

    It sounds like a good idea to just rent if you do move. The housing market in this area still sucks. I guess it is like that in most areas. Or even, like you said, if you stay put until he is secure and it is someplace you want to move to. You will probably be like me. I enjoy the quiet and like not having to worry about cooking dinner every night. I come home four nights a week to quiet. I watch what I want on TV.

    Anyway, I hope whatever happens that it works out for you.

    Terri
     
  3. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits...

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    I would stay put right where I am. You have a house and are secure now..
    If I had a husband with bad work records I would NOT follow him anywhere..
    If ge has aspergers he may be able to get disability..that would help with money..
     
  4. Mattemma

    Mattemma Crowing

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    Better your spouse goes lookng for a job, and hopefully will find ways to spend little on his expenses.My dh is a trucker and we could move anywhere his routes might take him I talk about moving often,but must admit taking the leap os scary.Hard part is taking a major loss on the house sale,but hopefully we would make up for it buying a good deal.

    Have him apply for disability.Takes a few years as they often deny,and then you reapply many times.I read about your states issues.Would moving to a neighboring state be an option,so you can still be by family?Another option is to rent in a new location,and also to rent out your home....so you can move back if you want too!
     
  5. EweSheep

    EweSheep Flock Mistress

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    As SS says, Asperger's is NOT a disablility, it just a handicap that he can overcome. He has been working most of his life non stop but hard for him to keep a job, usually MOST of the time the companies have folded over or they simply just can not work with his "handicap" that he has to work independently. He is unable to work as a team because he would "get in their way", often colliding with other co workers that they declared him a "hazard" being under their feet. He is very proud of his job and the work he does at this company but it is so unfortunate that they are laying people off.

    He will NOT collect disability nor wants to sit on his butt. His primary concern is his family (us) to make sure we have a home and safe place, have plenty to eat.

    I would not mind him leaving for job, but I guess I will be joining the ranks of truckers and oilmen' s wives....we have to make do with the stuff we have around the house and go for it.

    Several of our family counselors strongly suggested that I stay put because of his high job history. It just sucks in this economy and the house market isn't good nor I want to really move when I am allowed to have chickens.

    Thanks all, you have been a help to me!
     
  6. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits...

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    Darn!! I CANT believe that they'd wont consider it a disability!! That's mot right in my book ....:(
     
  7. michickenwrangler

    michickenwrangler To Finish Is To Win

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    Michigan is even worse off than Illinois right now, the whole Great Lakes region is bad off, so I understand completely.

    When DH was alive, he and I were separated for a year on account of a job. I took a teaching job downstate while he stayed in northern Michigan. We lucked out in that the house was paid off, so no mortgage to worry about. Main reason he stayed behind was "just in case" I didn't like the job or got laid off (which is what happened) but we were glad that we held onto it. How much more do you have to pay on your house?

    One of my friends, her husband does heli-logging on the west coast. The pay is excellent, she can afford to be a stay at home mom, but she works part time as a receptionist for pocket money and something to do. Main point is, her hubby is gone 75% of the time, 3 weeks working, 1 week off. I honestly don't know how she does it, she was a huge help to me when DBF was working in New Jersey after Hurricane Irene.

    For me and DBF, the house is paid off so we have agreed to struggle through whatever life throws at us here. We have chickens, plenty of wood, clean source of water from a pond and several springs, garden and more. So long as we can pay the property taxes, some food staples like flour and some electric, we'll survive. He's had to remind me many times over the past several weeks that he can support me (I was so used to supporting DH that it feels kinds weird that I won't be the main source of income any more).

    Does he have or can he get a CDL? He could do things like serve as a substitute bus driver. DBF worked as a substitute custodian when he and I first began dating. It wasn't much, but it was something, enough to pay his child support and car insurance (he lived with his sister at the time). The sub company--PESG--handles contract employees all over Michigan and I think they operate out of state too. DBF liked the custodial work because it WAS independent.

    Actually, speaking of DBF, he did FEMA work. If your DH is interested, I can give you the info about being a FEMA contract employee. In Illinois, you're fairly close to flood prone states like Missouri, Iowa and others. With the hot summer and a lot of rain, they're predicting it to be a bad hurricane season in the Gulf. The work may only last a few months, but DBF came back from New Jersey with over $10,000 in his bank account from 2 months worth of work, and this after catching up on child support, paying my Ford off and putting several grand into his car for repairs. With some diligent spending and budgeting, you could probably live off that. If nothing else, it'll pay for taxes and electric.
     
  8. EweSheep

    EweSheep Flock Mistress

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    We have a 30 year mortgage on our house, living in here for 8 years. So it is a LONG time paying it off.

    With his Asperger's, he can not do anything in paperwork, he is a visual assistant and has a hard time remembering details. When he travels sometimes he would get off the wrong road or wrong exit, he can not remember the last time how he got there. So GPS is his best friend, despite of some detours that would frustrate him.

    As for a trucking job, he refused and I know he will NOT be suited for that type of job. He is too overcautious and over correct his driving with prone falling asleep on the wheel. So his traveling days are over but not a problem going to several states on a vacation but not job wise.

    I can not think Michigan being the worst...I thought Illinois is the WORST state to live in, taxes are going thru the roof and silly politicians are spending on pork barrel projects that they should not be touching.

    With me being on SS and as well as dd being on SS as well, we can pay for the basics but for food and gas and her private schooling...we will be in the hole.

    So far, hubby has not had the pink slip but we are paying off the co payments as fast as we can so when he does get laid off, we will not be hurting as bad. If the paper from the company is correct about the "let go" dates, he has a month left.
     
  9. I recommend you consider Texas. My brother lives there, and says it has a lot to offer. It scores high on good schools, places to live, friendliness to small businesses and low taxes. Round Rock is rated one of the top towns to live in in the US.
     
  10. michickenwrangler

    michickenwrangler To Finish Is To Win

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    Och ye gods! Michigan has had the highest unemployment rate since 2001. We're also one of 2 states to LOSE population (Rhode Island being the other). This state is so tied up in the auto industry that anything that affects that, affects the state as a whole. Even the bailout didn't really help matters any. Houses are going for less than half of what they would have 10 years ago. Our property taxes have actually gone down. We may not have the notorious corruption of Illinois politicians (although former Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and former Saginaw mayor something-Hamm are definitely high on the scandal scale), we've gone the last 8 years of having a CANADIAN governor pandering to Detroit and ignoring the rest of the state. And I don't mean Detroit Metro, I mean CITY of Detroit. Which Detroit is at less than half of its population high in the 1950s, (2 million in 1950 census, less than 900,000 2010 census). Northeast Michigan has the highest regional unemployment in the country, we're usually close to 20% and that's OFFICIAL stats, not counting people like me who are being forced to resign and not looking for work.

    Any rate, I would still tell him to look into substitute custodial work, doesn't require a lot of people interaction, driving or teamwork. The factory where DBF got a job is still hiring but I don't think you'd want to relocate for a $9/hr job.

    Do you guys have any equipment you could rent out like stump grinders, wood chippers, tractors or log splitters that you could make some extra money with? Can he do things like weld or do mechanical work that he could maybe do some work out of the home?
     

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