Got A Funny Poem?

[chickie_mama]

There was an old lady from Nantucket........


Seriously here's one I've heard for years and years and years:

I took off my clothes
and threw them in the grass

I jumped in the creek
up to my knees

(It doesn't rhyme???? Don't blame me that the creek wasn't deep enough)

 

[Delta2 23]

Um... I don't have anymore poems but I have some jokes if you'd like to hear.

Most of them are not too nice but I'll say some of the none rude ones.

1. There is a pretty young woman, and she gets on a plane. She sits down in her seat and finds herself next to a handsome young man. They like the look of each other, and talk, but after a while it gets boring to the girl and she starts reading a magazine.

The guy wants to keep the convo going so he suggests they play a game. "We ask each other questions, and if you get a question wrong you pay me $5 and if I get a question wrong I pay you $5."

The girl thinks for a bit, then says no.

"Okay." the guy tries again. "If I get a question wrong I pay you $500, but you only pay me $5."

The girl says OK.

The guy starts. "What is the capital of Bangladesh?"

The girl doesn't know, and gives him five dollars.

She asks him "What goes up the hill with four legs and comes down with three?"

The guy doesn't know and he panics. He asks everyone on the plane and calls up his friends. He takes so long that the girl falls asleep.

He finally wakes her up and reluctantly gives her $500.

She is about to turn over and go to sleep again, when the guy says "excuse me miss, but would you mind telling me what the answer was?"

Without a word, the girl reaches into her bag and pulls out $5.



2. A little girl and her mum go to a wedding.

The girl says "Why does the bride wear white?"

Her mum smiles and says "Because this is the happiest day of her life"

The girl thinks about this for a while, then asks:

"Then why is the groom wearing black?"




3. (This one's a bit weird. I won't write the actual words. )

A little boy with a speech problem is sent by his mum to buy some gum, a bucket and a cocker spaniel from the shops.

He says to the shop keeper, "Can I have some bum?"

The shop keeper says: "Oh, you mean gum" and gives him some gum.

"Can I have a f***et"

"Oh, you mean a bucket" and he gives him a bucket.

"Can I have a c*** and spank it?"

"Oh, you mean a cocker spaniel" and he gives him a cocker spaniel.

Outside, an old man asks to see the little boy's cocker spaniel.

The boy says " of course. please hold my bum and f*** it while I get my c*** and spank it"

4. A guy is stuck in a desert.

He comes across a tent, and asks the man inside how he can get to the nearest town.

The man gives him a map, and says "I'll loan you my horse too. But you have to say 'Thank God' to make him go and 'Amen' to make him stop."

SO the guy thanks the tent man and sets off.

"thank God."

the horse starts to walk. the man is bored.

"thank God thank God thank God thank God"

the horse charges off at full speed. The man enjoys himself until suddenly a huge drop looms up and the horse isn't slowing down. He panics and screams "stop stop stop stop"

But the horse doesn't stop and keeps going at full speed.

The guy finally remembers. "AMEN"

The horse stops four inches from the edge of the drop.

The man is very relieved and wipes his brow.

"Thank God"

I'm bored now. I'll stop.