Granny's gone and done it again

[twisted-acres-farm]

 

[Granny Hatchet]

If you have had a MI they are useless. Not sure about blockage. Once abnormal, always

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

HONESTY



It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon.

All the children were invited to come forward.

One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she

sat down, the pastor leaned over and said,

"That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"

The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on

microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

MATH LESSONS



A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,

"Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.

Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine..."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher, "What are you teaching my

son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that

son of a bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them

was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

 

[Granny Hatchet]

View attachment 1915818

You could paint w/stencils that on your coop or yak barn. LOL

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

WHO’S YOUR DADDY



A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr.

Sugarbrown's daughter."

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,

"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"

She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

RESERECTION



The minister started his Children's Sermon with a question, "Who knows

what the Resurrection is?"

Without missing a beat, a young boy says, "If you have one lasting more

than 4 hours call your physician."

The pastor is still laughing.

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

REALITY



One day the first-grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken

Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken

Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little

went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is

falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class,

"And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said,

"I think he said: 'Holy shit! A talking chicken!'"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

sorry all cousin was "busy"

 

[twisted-acres-farm]