Granny's gone and done it again

[Granny Hatchet]

I think intelligence is not his strong point.

It cracks me up when people come over and say wow he has a huge smart bumb ! He is a really smart dog. Nope, thats from bumping his head under the table yet again.

 

[Granny Hatchet]

Wait until Sunday!!!!


You really don't want tetanus!


You have a lot of pregnant guppies there.

Those are my babies too.

 

[Granny Hatchet]

All the best with the new adventure, hope the move goes smooth and the new job is amazing. Ps. Don’t you dare leave us camping.

She said she wont.

 

[CapricornFarm]

My Granddaughter Leah has her front two teeth missing now!

 

[Granny Hatchet]

How old is she ? Are they there now ?

 

[Granny Hatchet]

I just got my shot. Robert teased me about it being the wrong needle. Said it was huge. I went on the run. LOL

 

[Granny Hatchet]

HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

These are from a book called “Disorder in the Courts”! Hilarious! We believe “Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History” you can find on Amazon! From my understanding these were some of the funnier ones!

 

[Wishing4Wings]

getting close, hasn't been over 25 for a high since Monday and that wasn't much better.

Montana is having its coldest October recorded. Just in time for my #2son to have his first experience living where it snows. No complaints from him yet. He said the difference between 20 and -2 is you have to keep your jacket zipped at -2 and wear a scarf. He's rather deal with the cold than the heat.

Ran some errands & got lunch at the college cafeteria. Watching expedition unknown. Still raining here

My sis loves that show. Hope you are feeling better soon.

Esophageal spasms - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic
Nov 6, 2018 - Esophageal spasms are painful contractions within the muscular tube connecting your mouth and stomach (esophagus). Esophageal spasms can feel like sudden, severe chest pain that lasts from a few minutes to hours. ... If esophageal spasms interfere with your ability to eat or drink, treatments are available.

Is that what's going on with Robert? For sure? It was one of the things I read about. It's a relief and a bummer at the same time.

View attachment 1948112

The fish look happy!

Hey all. Cat’s out of the bag.

I started to post here so many times but just didn’t. The job became “official” on Monday. We’ll be moving to north Louisiana, near Shreveport, and have to sell off the farm before we go.

DH will go soon. I’m staying with the kids to wrap up the camp year and let them finish the semester. It’s been a long time coming, but it all happened pretty quickly.

Wow, big changes for 2020. You'll do great!

 

[Granny Hatchet]

yes, dr said thats what it is and he already has the meds at home. Its just like my bladder cramps and the same meds they gave me which works pretty good so I have high hopes.
The fish keep trying to eat me when my hand has to go in the tank. It dont feel good.

 

[Wishing4Wings]

These are from a book called “Disorder in the Courts”! Hilarious! We believe “Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History” you can find on Amazon! From my understanding these were some of the funnier ones!

Hysterical. I am crying!!

Going to let make hubs read it now.