I do understand what you are saying.
There is an old saying, you can pick your friends, you can even pick your enemies but you are stuck with your family.
I would bet real money that there are few of us that can say they came from a 'perfect' family. Mine was about 75% dysfunctional and I'm being generous. When memories I'd rather forget flood my thoughts I remember what a friend told me recently when I asked them about if something that was said about them was bothering them. They said. 'No, I don't have time to think about them. There is only room for one person at a time to occupy my brain and that person is me'.
Try not to look back, dear lady, try to live in the present and look ahead to the future.