In my next post ...
So sorry, Granny.
CALL THEM. If they're 24/7, call them now. That's what they are there for. Don't suffer all night. Girl! Make the call.
Is it because you don't want to be a bother? Or because it's hard to admit you need help? I know for me, it went against my pride. Who, ME? Need help? Pfft! I'm strong! I take care of everybody around me! I can do anything! I'm Queen of the Universe! Admit I need help? But yeah. This is me. My brain is doing weird things, thinking weird, scary thoughts and it won't stop. Somebody ... make it stop! Before I hurt myself. Yeah, I needed help. And if you're thinking weird thoughts, so do you. Make the call. You're not alone.
Make the call. You can do it.
Sorry, Granny. You'll see why in a bit.