so basically what you are saying it SOP for youTWIST !!! I am such a bad girl, I dont know whats wrong with me.I need a spanking, for real.
Granny's gone and done it again
- Thread starter Granny Hatchet
- Start date
- Thread starter
- #45,202
i gotta run....bb soon.
Wish...
Steps
Try WORD or that Paint program.
Wish...
Steps
- Find the ⎙ Print Screen key on your keyboard. The Print Screen button is typically located above the Insert / ⇱ Home / ⇞ Page Up block of keys. ...
- Press ⎙ PrtScr to take a screenshot of your monitor. ...
- Press Alt + ⎙ PrtScr to take a screenshot of your active window. ...
- Paste your screenshot.
Try WORD or that Paint program.
Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport lounge in Bozeman ,
Montana , awaiting their flights.
One is an American Indian, passing thru from Deer Lodge. Another, a cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show. And the third a fundamentalist Muslim Arab student from the Middle East, newly arrived at Montana State University .
Discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. The two Westerners soon learn the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and conversation drifts into an uneasy lull.
The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table
and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face.
Outside, the wind is blowing tumbleweeds around and the old windsock is
flapping, but still no plane comes.
Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and speaking softly says, "At one
time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."
The Muslim raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people
were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"
The Montana cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth, and from
the darkness beneath his Stetson and drawls, "That's 'cause we ain't
played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'".
Montana , awaiting their flights.
One is an American Indian, passing thru from Deer Lodge. Another, a cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show. And the third a fundamentalist Muslim Arab student from the Middle East, newly arrived at Montana State University .
Discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. The two Westerners soon learn the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and conversation drifts into an uneasy lull.
The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table
and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face.
Outside, the wind is blowing tumbleweeds around and the old windsock is
flapping, but still no plane comes.
Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and speaking softly says, "At one
time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."
The Muslim raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people
were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"
The Montana cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth, and from
the darkness beneath his Stetson and drawls, "That's 'cause we ain't
played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'".
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a Priest, said, .... 'I am a Father..'
The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that..'
The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.' The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!'
The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar."
The man, who was a Priest, said, .... 'I am a Father..'
The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that..'
The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.' The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!'
The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar."
YOU learn something everyday!
Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men?
A man is at work one day when he notices his co-worker is wearing an
earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative
fellow and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity
prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
I always wondered how this trend got started; now I know
Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men?
A man is at work one day when he notices his co-worker is wearing an
earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative
fellow and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity
prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
I always wondered how this trend got started; now I know
retired older couple returned to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they had been interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top.
The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply, "Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $55,000 asking price. Yet I just overheard you closed the deal for $45,000 to the lovely young lady there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could discount this model."
The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water. "Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn't need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?", replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.
Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man.
"There you go," she said. "I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price. See you later Dad, Happy Father's day."
The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply, "Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $55,000 asking price. Yet I just overheard you closed the deal for $45,000 to the lovely young lady there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could discount this model."
The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water. "Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn't need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?", replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.
Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man.
"There you go," she said. "I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price. See you later Dad, Happy Father's day."
A lawyer, from Chicago, boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a typical, arrogant manner that he was a lawyer
from Chicago, and threatened what would happen to her if she let them thaw out.
Shortly before landing in Chicago, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin:
"Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"
Not one hand went up . . . so she took them home and ate them.
There are two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as some folks think.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a typical, arrogant manner that he was a lawyer
from Chicago, and threatened what would happen to her if she let them thaw out.
Shortly before landing in Chicago, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin:
"Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"
Not one hand went up . . . so she took them home and ate them.
There are two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as some folks think.
cousin was "busy" today 
- Thread starter
- #45,210
those were really funny. I didnt understand the first one though. LOL
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