That is a very long honey-do list!

Are your "junkie" neighbors renting? Some complaints to the right people might get them evicted.
haha... I was thinking more life-sized real guy! Watching too many Hallmark movies and living in fantasy land!
How do you keep your boots on? Up at the farm, we had a low spot behind the barn that got super mucky... the cows liked to congregate there. Walking in it and you'd sink in up to your knees and your boots would get sucked right off. My brother had to pull one of my boots out for me. I wasn't strong enough. Adobe clay is heavy when wet. Cows got a work out!
haha! You should see my water proof connectors... plastic bread bags twisty-tied over the ends of the cords!

Not the most attractive yard ornaments, but effective! Got down below 35 last night! brrrr. Glad I had plugged the light in for them. Sun is up (9:30 am) and still only 40 outside. brrrrr