Granny's gone and done it again

No, no no no no, Granny. You are a strong person. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Believe me. Did you know that caregivers on average have a shorter life span due to the stress and emotional not to mention physical pain they suffer taking care of their loved ones?

What is going to happen to Robert and Tom if something happens to you because you tried to do too much and it took a tole on you physically? I admire your attitude but there is no sin in needing help. Think about how well Tom did in the nursing home while he was there. I'm not saying put him back there what I'm saying is you had help and he benefited from it....and so did you.

Think about that please.
He begged me to bring him poison while he was there. I will think about hospice. That's the most I can promise
 
Hospice to me sounds like giving up or admitting Im not a strong enough person. I feel like this is my job and I need to do it. I need to draw from my reserves. Who took care of the people like in my grandfathers time? My grandmother did because she also felt these things and she had no choice nor would she of wanted one. We were raised up to take care of our own and yes, I know how asinine that sounds but to give up is to admit defeat.
I honestly didn't feel like I gave up. He was refusing baths. Getting outside without me knowing and me running around out there calling his name. More.
Hospice helped. They help up to 2 years, then if the person is still with us, they reup it for 2 more years. It isn't just for end of life. I thought he had plenty of time. The meds? Mild at first. Probably more mild than what Tom is on. Nothing strong until needed. In fact most were his normal ones until he didn't need some he had been on for a while. I didn't have to take him to the dr. They have drs and the nurses report to them and then are directed.
He got bathed. Got into the shower for them. Not sure why not me. They came to check his vitals, and answered any questions I may have had. They helped me figure out things that would work best for him that I hadn't thought of. We were thinking about putting locks at the top of the doors for example so he wouldn't get out. Taught us how to handle his choking. So so many other things. Without us having to go to the dr. I was told he more than likely had 2 years left. But then, him having strokes took him faster.
Trust me, this was still my job, and I did it all until I got help from Austin and Bronwyn as he got worse. It was constant work. Thankful I got the helps from Hospice in what could be done to make things easier.
 
Thanks, Granny. I'm blessed. DH is 74 and going strong. One of the most intelligent men I have ever known. Besides my work experience, both of my parents had dementia and were diagnosed within two years of one another.

My dad was happily confused. Never caused any trouble. Just forgot everything, wandered around and had to be supervised about everything.

My mom was violent. Towards my dad and towards me also. Bruises, pulled out hair, split lips, black eyes. To say it was horrible would be putting it mildly. I finally had to put dad in a nursing home to separate them, then took care of mom until she passed 3 years later. Took care of dad in my home then for 6 years before he became more than I could handle. I could write a book. So yep, been there done that got the t-shirt as they say.

@Cynthia12, blessed be the caregiver for they have a special place in heaven.
Sounds like you know. You've been a blessing.
 
I went picking cherries Saturday, this is how loaded the trees are.
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Looks like a bumper crop!
Howdy all, Feeling like crap of course.
Tom got up just as I was going to bed. I made it to my room and was just sitting on the edge of the bed when I heard him. Back up again and found he had broke his stat-lock.We didn't have more so Robert played Macgyver and rigged something up.
 

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