Granny's gone and done it again

Don't feel that you're not supposed to use them, Kiddo, just know that it's hard for us to know what you're trying to communicate with them when that's all you use. Just start at the beginning and tell us what feelings they represent for you right now.
Thanks :love

Okay… here goes… LOL

I’m just… frustrated. Annoyed. Mad. But also upset. LOL all in one. And all aimed at myself. Because I feel like an idiot and dummy.

I truly do not understand what I’m doing and why (the whole self sabotage thing) but I NEED to figure it out and fast. Before it leads one of two directions, neither good.

I think I actually have some ideas but none that make sense. LOL
 
I say I'm 5-2. That's barely so wow, you're shorter than I am. Not too many people over the age of 15 that can say that to me. I bounce between 116 and 118 pounds so not really plenty but I inherited my dad's physique. Barrel with legs. No waist, well, I won't say no waist, I do have one I just go from ribs to hips really fast.
My weight has shot up to 170. 😔 I felt terribly fat at 150 for a long time but I was stable. But I have not been able to do much exercise with this knee, and before that it was an ankle. I weighed 93 when I graduated hs and worked hard to get it up to 110 so I could donate blood. That's what I weighed when I got pregnant, both times. My body feels foreign to me now and I don't know how to fix it. I should sign up for swimming. I'll see if my ortho will athorize that for me Thursday.
 
Do we all shrink? I lost a lot of my height. Figured it was from my back.
My parents claim they've shrunk...dad said he used to be over 6' and now he's like 5' 8" or something. I don't even know what to say for mom other than she's plenty shorter than me (last time I checked I'm 5' 6" ish) so yeah. The back thing makes sense because I've noticed that mine's slightly arched and twisted and makes me feel like I'm shorter than I really should be LOL...
 
Not all of it is treatable. Some things that are not include, Foley for the rest of his life, prostrate cancer,dementia,stroke probably more but my brain took a crap a few hours ago.
I think Microchick meant that those feelings of desperation are treatable, Granny. No. They can't fix everything that's wrong with Tom but they can help him feel better.

Thanks :love

Okay… here goes… LOL

I’m just… frustrated. Annoyed. Mad. But also upset. LOL all in one. And all aimed at myself. Because I feel like an idiot and dummy.

I truly do not understand what I’m doing and why (the whole self sabotage thing) but I NEED to figure it out and fast. Before it leads one of two directions, neither good.

I think I actually have some ideas but none that make sense. LOL
These are things you need to be discussing with you counselor, therapist or whatever. But they can't help you unless you are completely open and honest with thrm. :hugs
 

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