grannys gone and done it

[mrsc1951]

There is a way to protect your modesty/dignity. You were right to ask her to turn around. When we are faced with issues like needing help to bathe there are proactive ways to ensure you're not left feeling invaded. It is a bit different when it is Mother and daughter - you've had a life time together but to have to disrobe in front of a total stranger is unnerving. I had to care for my Mother when she was dying. Do you have a shower chair? If not, tell them (home healthcare) to bring you one. Your insurance should pay for it. Just having that will allow you some additional privacy. If they don't want to do that, use a lawn chair. I helped an elderly neighbor (I'm no spring chicken!) and she refused to ask for a shower chair, so I took one of her plastic lawn chairs and put it in the shower for her that way she could sit down and remove undies herself and shower. Put a garbage bag over your cast - I used painters tape for mine - and you can be pretty independent. Then you at least have your towel - or two when you're done. My Dad used to say " if you don't want any @#$%, then don't start any" and I agree. Everything will be fine as long as we do it my way. LOL They are there to help you, not make you feel badly! Keep getting better!

 

[Suzierd]

well ya Enola, we weren't designed to have to have woman touching us and a bath is a very personal thing to be sharing with a stranger. i dont like female drs. either but if i have to have a stranger in my shower , i just dont know. its very humiliating. we were raised old school, cover that stuff up from everyone. i cant seem to get pass  that and i dont think i should have to. my grandmother , had an answer for every thing and i will take her advise next time and to the devil with what other people think. my mom was caregiver for grandma including baths and grandma would wear her undies to the bath. it gave her her modesty and thats all i ask. i mean, i had to tell this little 22 yr. old girl to turn around.  this has gave me quite the insight to what our elders are forced to go through every day. and there is simply no need for it. they say, oh, were all girls here, we have the same, ect... dont matter. some people dont like it and they dont have to put up with it. just because the caregiver has been there done that and i am sure means nothing to them does not change the fact that it means something to the one on the other end. I for one will take a proactive stand next time. and to all the caregivers out there, you can give them a choice.   

I totally agree Granny!

 

[Granny Hatchet]

well, i just totally got into it with her. she said , i am here to bath you, not cook. i can cook tomorrow. i said ,i had bath yesterday and we need to eat every day. she tried calling her work said didnt have the right paper work to cook. and she just sat there. so i called her boss and she was sitting here and i told him if you are sending this woman over here to just sit tell her to go home. so she gets on the phone with him and now she is in the kitchen cooking.

 

[lularat]

well, i just totally got into it with her. she said , i am here to bath you, not cook. i can cook tomorrow. i said ,i had bath yesterday and we need to eat every day. she tried calling her work said didnt have the right paper work to cook. and she just sat there. so i called her boss and she was sitting here and i told him if you are sending this woman over here to just sit tell her to go home. so she gets on the phone with him and now she is in the kitchen cooking.

You go Granny!

 

[Granny Hatchet]

good dinner lol

 

[Wxguru]

I would have her eat a bite first....just as a safety check.

 

[Suzierd]

I would have her eat a bite first....just as a safety check.

X2!

 

[Granny Hatchet]

well, i may not have help tomorrow. i just had a humongous melt down. i havent done that in yrs. i cried for a half hr. I never cry !! i wasnt sad, i was mad. i get tired of trying to work things out with people that dont have a clue on what there talking about. i will try my best to explain but if there's gaps in the story its because that woman is an idiot. ok, 2 papers, one is bathing and grooming, one is cooking and housecleaning plus bathing and grooming . she only has the bathing one so thats all she is going to do for 4 hrs. I dont think so. my husband got the same thing i did except he dont need help bathing, he is a big boy he can do it. they said he cant . they have to help him or they wont pay to help me. reason being, if he can bath himself then he can bath me, cook, clean, ect.... he is a fall risk, i understand. been there done that. i make sure i am within hearing distance when he showers IN CASE he were to fall i would know it. we did agree on a stand by person when he showers for this reason. they are insisting that these little 22 yr old girls stay in the bathroom with him and physically help him to shower by handing him his towel. ( i know you gotta love where your tax money is heading so far). my husband does not want this and i have told them no. so they are telling me my help will probably stop. she called her boss and said she forgot to clock in for half an hr. it was less then 5 min. she told him i asked her to run errands for me. that was a lie. as she was on the phone telling him this i hollered I did not ask you to go any where for me ! she shuhed me. that is when i asked her to leave. she sat down and said, i cant, i wont get paid. that is when, being the lady i am, called for assistance to show her to the door. then the phone calls started with her boss, the social worker ect.. they are promising me she will cook and do what ever i want done regardless of what ever papers she may or may not have. (thats all she talked about today) but i have to let them go with tom to shower. i have told them no. i guess we will see what tomorrow holds . they have billed/received 7 thousand dollars per client from welfare. or who ever it is that pays. i have received one shower and some scrambled eggs. wrong is wrong and i would rather live in filth then to see this happen. tv dinners here we come again. to top it all, from messing with her today and not being able to lay down and prop my foot up, it has swollen and turned purple and hurts worse then it ever has. I do know right from wrong and this is wrong on so many levels. I dont care who sees it , i dont care how much trouble it causes. I need help pretty bad right now, we need someone to cook for us. but, I will not cheat my friends out of their tax money to get what i need. I am sorry but i know i am right

 

[mrsc1951]

Oh no Granny! If there is a social worker involved, INSIST that he/she make a home visit. Throw a big old hissy fit, if necessary! Show them what you are dealing with and tell them exactly what you need help with. A home health aide (the same one) should be able to do everything you need with no problem.

 

[Granny Hatchet]

Oh no Granny! If there is a social worker involved, INSIST that he/she make a home visit. Throw a big old hissy fit, if necessary! Show them what you are dealing with and tell them exactly what you need help with. A home health aide (the same one) should be able to do everything you need with no problem.

i call her a social worker . really she is not. she works for Life t##e resources as a care coordinator for the elderly and the disabled. this is something i contracted on my own. i just called the company and asked for help, explained my problems and she has done everything to try and help. very nice person.