Great DH, bad dogs! another update page 11

[babylady4]

WOW! Ok, my DH grew up in a house where the dogs stayed OUTSIDE along with the cats. He has made MAJOR adjustments in the whole indoor pet policy with me around! 4 cats fighting for space on the bed along with the 2 dogs! I try to teach the dogs to stay off the bed (but they usually sneak up here when he leaves for work...)

Point is; he has made compromises for me and I have for him. If the cats or the dogs make a mess someplace we clean it up. No biggie. He knew the drill when we got involved.

SO. I think you have gone above and beyond placating him and making behavior adjustments with the dogs. Time he needs to make some behavior ajdustments or hit the road! How dumb to break up a relationship over dogs!

 

[darbella]

Quote:
Hellooooo...why could your DH not answer the door while you were in the shower??? Did the cat have him pinned down! Just kidding, but like the other poster sid, the dogs were there first so he should expect things like you are saying to happen!

 

[duckboatprincess]

I'd explain to him the finer points of bladder control on old dogs. Then, I would head out to PetCo or a similar store and get the old boy a male diaper to help keep his accidents from hitting the floor. It might be a little extra work, but I'd think it'd be worth it to keep the peace. As for the cat jumping on the chair, let him throw his hissy fit. I'd just ignore that. Some people don't understand that no matter how well an animal is trained, it is still a live thing and accidents happen. It's not like the dog or cat thought, "Hey... let's really tick him off. I'll pee on the floor and you sit in his chair!!" I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Ask him what he would do, were the situation reversed and what he'd like you to do about it. I'm assuming it would be along the lines of "get rid of them," but I'd calmly tell him that that is not an option and that you're willing to be reasonable (which so far sounds like you have been) if he is going to be reasonable as well. If not, then it's his problem and not yours. Let him deal with his issues and you continue loving on the dogs and cats. I know that if someone did that to me, I'd be seeing red, so I give you props for keeping your cool! Good luck!

 

[Stina]

When he's old and incontinent you shouldn't let him wear a diaper and should get mad at him when he has accidents.......lol

I agree with the sentiments of others.....anyone who is willing to jeopardize a relationship over something that makes the other happy....isn't fully in that relationship to begin with. It may be time to have a serious discussion....you've made compromises....if you're anything like me or any other dog lover I know...you would have a big hole in your life without dogs.....it sounds like to him the pets are an inconvenience.... I think something that makes one partner happy is a bigger deal than it being an inconvenience for the other.

 

[stethomps]

Wow...Tuff one. Everyone seems to be pointing out that the dogs were there first...which is true. But man, dont burn the poor guy yet. What I am sure he is saying is that he dosent want any animals destroying your stuff; like furniture, or making your house smell like pet urine. I am sure you do not want this either? Its hard for some guys (myself included) to express how they feel, and anger or frustration is often expressed because of and/or in place of this.

He dosent want to deny you your pets, but having an animal that is "wrecking the den" is frustrating to a man. And if this is happening allot, he has to think that you are ok with it. I could go deeper with this, but I am guessing my point is stated. But it is frustrating, and this I am sure communication is slowed, which of course wont lead to any solutions.

I would let him know that you are not ok with the accidents either, and that you two together can come up with a solution. For me, when my dogs come in the house; they know they are in my den. Their is no playing or free ranging. If they are not laying at my feet, they are outside, or in their kennel. They sleep 16 hours per day, what dose it matter if they are in a kennel for some or most of these hours.

 

[English Chick]

Tough one really............... but my DH HAS to be tolerant of my house pets or else................ that's it in a nutshell. They make me happy.... happy wife.. happy home........and my little dog has accidents easily cleaned and sanitised........no big deal.

Stand your ground, they are your animals and where with you before you where married, consequently you came as a package... He knew that.....

Want all of us to ring him >>>> ?????

 

[chickerdoodle]

I don't know you at all, but it could raise a flag if you cannot work out it by compromising. We did it by using our family room/kitchen area for the dogs and only let them in the rest of the house when we are with them. We had tile floors put in and leather couches (all easy to keep clean ) and those rooms are huge and very open. It's also where we spend most of our time and where their 'doggie door" is to the yard. Our two cats rule though and even sleep in bed with us. So everyone is happy!

Relationships are partnerships. I made sure my hubby knew how important my pets were prior to marriage and not having them would've been a deal breaker for me (thank God he loved them too!!). However, you need to take somethings into consideration too if you really love him. The older dog may need medication, diapers at certain times or be restricted to certain rooms that will still allow freedom and a happy life. Crating at night is OK during house training but not being jailed 24/7. (I worked up from a crate to a doggie bed then to the couch--took hubby a few years but hee heee I got my way....)

I d hope the man who loves you can start to care about the pets as part of the "family" and think of ways to be helpful instead of getting mad for days. Life is too short!

 

[jacyjones]

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I agree. As long as you are doing all you reasonably can then he has to make compromises. If he hates the animals so much then it will never work.
I am animal crazy and my DH is different. He is much less sentimental but does love them. I do all the messy stuff and all the playing and cuddling. He feeds and works them and loves them in a more 'man' way. it works fine. I could not live with someone who did not love them at all. It is your decision but you need to consider the whole of the rest of your life without dogs - that would seem to be the way he wants it!

 

[Camelot Farms]

Can I be nosy and ask if you also have children?

And my life experience makes me wonder if DH would be the same with them? All is good til something goes wrong then he is annoyed. Pets and kids work pretty much the same way...there is always something going 'wrong'...lol

It sounds like its more than just the pet issues...

I hope things work out the way that you want them to.
*hugs*

 

[gypsy2621]

Quote:
Double X's 2
behavior he is showing is controlling and needs to be nipped and quick.
Your choice to tolerate it of stop it.