Help me out here, if you would please

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Shannoniganshens, Jan 28, 2011.

  1. Shannoniganshens

    Shannoniganshens Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jul 25, 2010
    West TX
    My husbands sister moved into an extra house attached to mine, 300 rent. She gave us 150 2nd day she was here, then Christmas morning ruined her stay here (3rd day she was here) she was "overdosing" it was all an act, but learned she has been on drugs for 8 years and this is why she doesn't have her children and why her husband left her. This is my property, I felt she had endangered my family, she had been using the 3 days she was here, was having men, suppliers jumping my property fence and or sneaking them in her vehicle, I told her she had a week to get out of my house. She left the next day, came back a couple days later, left again, leaving all her "property". The last time she left, she was so lazy she couldn't lock the front door to her house, knowing wind could blow it open if you didn't, well she didn't want to walk the back way and around the house to her vehicle. She was here and we barely caught it, because of light on in the house, then she was gone that quick. Left this door open and my dogs entered the house and tore up my brand new carpet. That was my last straw, called her told her to get her stuff out right now, she had till Monday (3 1/2 weeks ago on a friday) She had not paid her remaining rent, or this months and now here it going to be Feb. Today I go into the house, start going threw stuff, and turns out most of this stuff is stolen from my husbands deceased grandparents, his uncle's, nieces,and many other people. I know this because I have seen this stuff in the past at the family memebers houses, then along with stolen prescriptions with other names on them!!!! Then I look in the room she was staying in, there's cardboard boxes all on the window, I go to take them off, and they are roof nailed!!!! YEA!!! to the top of my window seals!!!!!! The entire house is not unpacked, just boxes of clothes, some moldy, dried food on her bed, junk, just junk everywhere.
    What I'm wanting to know, husband is mad at me, cause I have a right to sell and rid her stuff for damages done to the house and rent due. He is so mad at me, would you wait for her to return? Did I mention she changed her phone number and we can't in contact with her!!!! To top it off, days after the last time she was here, police come to my house looking for her, had a search warrant for her arrest, I let them go threw my entire home and property to prove she wasn't here. I don't know what I'm to do, I wanted to have the house emptied by March and she knew this, she could only stay till March because I was turning the house into a small shop. This was only to help her out, because her new bf kicked her out, and it's turned that she's an addict, thief , liar. I don't want her back here ever, the things I have seen and heard, she's not the same person we knew 8 years ago. All I know is I am not a storage building, while she's out doing drugs and whatever. Give me some advice if you have any.
  2. farmerlor

    farmerlor Chillin' With My Peeps

    I'd write her off as a loss and get rid of her crap. Don't bother sending her a bill for damages or back rent, you ain't gonna get it anyway and it'll just cause more strife between you and husband. Sell or throw her stuff away and be done with the whole matter. Let the fam know she's not welcome to call or come over and tell them why.
  3. I have WHAT in my yard?

    I have WHAT in my yard? Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 24, 2008
    Eggberg, PA
    Your anger at SIL is clear and fully justified.

    So why is husband SO mad at you?? That is the only question I have. She is clearly so out of there and so not welcome to return. Does he not agree with this?

    Is he still trying to deny her drug use or protect her? That is the only question. Number one priority is your relationship with your husband. Everything else comes after those issues are resolved.
  4. WingingIt

    WingingIt Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 16, 2009
    I'd return all of the stuff to the original owners, box her remaining crap up and put it in DH's car/truck. If he's sticking up for her, he can track her down and give her the junk back. Don't forget to change the locks! What the heck is DH's problem? She has drug dealers at your house, trashed your property, lied, stole and didn't pay the cheap rent that you were allowing her as help....and he's mad at you????
  5. Shannoniganshens

    Shannoniganshens Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jul 25, 2010
    West TX
    She is everything he hates in a person, and he is giving her what little faith and hope he has in her?? I am shocked by the way he is acting over it, he has known my plans for this extra house and he was so angry with her, I don't get where he is coming from, he said I am wrong for what I am doing!!!! What am I suppose to do with all this stuff? Leave it , I don't get any of it. His mom is on my side, she said "get her out, do what you want with her stuff, keep her away from my grand babies." His sister has broken his heart, disappointed him, lied repeatedly to his face. Pity? I don't know. She ruined our Christmas, we missed videoing the kids waking up to the best Christmas ever, because of her act, this is my home and she has flipped everything upside down. [​IMG]
  6. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    I agree.. return the peoples stuff back to them... toss or sell the rest.
    You owe her nothing....
    And as for you DH..ooh well..tooooo bad. It wouldnt even faze me.
    I for one am glad that you arent going to tolerate her crap!
  7. Shannoniganshens

    Shannoniganshens Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jul 25, 2010
    West TX
    Quote:Since Christmas morning and all her doings came out, I started putting locks on my property fence, that's when I caught this horrible looking guy coming across the "yard" to knock on her door!!! Said she had called him and he was leaving some "money" he owed her!!!!!! She doesn't, or as far as I know, know anyone in this town, she has always lived 3 hours away from us!!!! And what's worse about that situation, the house I was letting her stay in, is attached to my garage, to where anyone could have come threw "leaving money" because she left the front door unlocked for them to leave it, come right threw my garage and into enter into my kitchen and steal what ever they wanted!!! She told hub she wouldn't do it again, none knew I had set up 4 cams around my property after this guy left and one cam caught a guy standing out by the gate, 2 in the morning, she pulled up,drove off, came back and dropped him off, he walked away and I have no idea where she went or is, since then!!!! My husband knows, I am very independent, and I told him, when I told her to get out ( not so nice) that if he had a problem, he could go with her and he would ride with her, because this is my property and those are my vehicles, she tried to turn him against me, with "Are you just going to stand there and let her talk to you like that", I told her #### yea he is, because this is my ####, he never said a word, just walked out and let me take care of what I thought needed to be taken care of. This is just ridiculous, I've never been around people like this and for him to not speak to me and tell me I am the one wrong, I'm shocked.

    * not locks on my fence, on all my gates.
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2011
  8. Mattemma

    Mattemma Overrun With Chickens

    Aug 12, 2009
    Throw her things out and change the locks.Call the police if she returns.If dh wants to support her he should pay for her rehab or a place to live. My sibling is the same way.Same *I gotta get my **** together* being said for over 10 years.Bail out after bail out. I gave up.Love does not mean you have to keep bailing. Watch a few episodes of intervention on A&E and you will see how addicts will tear apart a family.

    Call the police on anyone coming on your property,and have a gun ready.People can do horrid things to others if given a chance.
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2011
  9. justbugged

    justbugged Head of the Night Crew for WA State

    Jan 27, 2009
    You also need to check about landlord and tenets laws. Because when you accepted any money for rent in most places you then have to give a tenet 30 days notice before you can lock them and their stuff. Otherwise they can really mess around with you. You should be able to look up those laws for your area either online or at a local library.

    Aside from that, I agree that your DH's reaction to how you are handling things is very bizarre. He seems to be displacing his anger at his sisters behavior by being angry at you. Is it possible that he knew that she had problems, before she came to live on your property? It then could be possible that he thought that he was going to protect her and save her. A lot of guys have a savior/hero thing for the women in their lives.

    I would certainly give the family back the things that were stolen from them, and document the prescription drugs found. I would look through the rest of the stuff and sort it into three piles. A garbage pile, a donate pile, and a save it because it is irreplaceable. It is possible that she would have pictures of her children, or items that could have sentimental value. That way no one will come back and blame you for throwing away something precious. I would have her mother and your husband do the work. I would limit the keep stuff to one or two boxes at the most. Have her mother store the stuff.

    I hope things work out for you and your DH.
  10. Judy

    Judy Chicken Obsessed Staff Member Premium Member

    Feb 5, 2009
    South Georgia
    Seems to me the real problem is your husband's state of mind, not what to do about the house or "her" stuff. He needs to work this thing through with someone, he is obviously very upset as he is not thinking clearly about it right now. Is there someone he can talk with, a close friend, a minister, someone he trusts?

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