Hiring a Chicken Nanny and security guard

[duluthralphie]

It has become apparent I will be needing a chicken nanny.

Once It is announced tonight or tomorrow that I have purchased the only winning powerball ticket worth 485 million dollars I will need a chicken nanny and security guard.


I will be too busy rolling in my money, roasting weanies and making smores over my greenback fires.

I would like suggestions as to what this new position should pay. After 40 years as a member of the working poor, I think it is time to allow someone else the chance to be what I am today and have been for all my yesterdays.

I am thinking I would need a relief nanny also.

Please respond to this thread if you are interested in this new position. You should know I am not going to let the new money I am getting change me one little bit. I will not require you to bow your head every time I walk by you. I will only expect that the first time of the day.

Making a good cup of coffee is a must.


Also I would like to thank all of you that have purchased powerball tickets to make me a member of the 1%.

 

[mountain mom]

I was just about to post about a similar position!

My husband is convinced our ticket is the winner. We will be employing all kinds of security with our new found overabundant wealth. Chicken security will be a must. I know someone will want to nab one of my famous by proxy chickens.

 

[sourland]

I'll apply for either/both positions. I'm great at filling bird feeders.

 

[duluthralphie]

I feel so bad for him. Some people actually become delusional thinking they may win my jackpot.

I also posted on the turkey talk 2014 a question regarding turkey travel. I am planning on going to Australia after winning. I want to bring JJ and Ethel with me, after all they are my best friends. I wanted to know what kind of hoops they will have to jump through to enter the question. I will be flying private jet so they will not have to right like common baggage on an airlines.

 

[duluthralphie]

I'll apply for either/both positions. I'm great at filling bird feeders.

Excellent point.

I forgot all about hiring a wild bird feeder filler..

How could I have forgotten such an important position.

 

[mountain mom]

JJ and Ethel will love riding on the jet!

 

[bantiesrule]

To bad you're so far away, unless it's full time and you supply housing? Of course, I will also need a chicken coop or two for my own sweeties. If you get a big enough spot for me, I would also like a big aviary with a nice pond, I've always wanted to get some wood ducks and maybe a pair of teals. If its far enough away from the road, some guineas would be nice. And maybe some peafowl. And quail! I just love the little top knots on the southern breeds. Of course, I will need heated housing for them for the winter, hope that's not a problem. I will assume your on-call vet would be available to me also. I'll let you know what else I'll need as I think of it-this is just so sudden and exciting, I just can't think straight.
Looking over this post, I realize I'll be way too busy to take care of your birds so you will have to hire that relief nanny right away.
While I'm waiting for you to get the coops and ponds and everything set up, could you give me vacation in advance? It would be nice to go somewhere warm for awhile. I'll also need your relief nanny to take care of my chickens while I'm gone.

 

[duluthralphie]

To bad you're so far away, unless it's full time and you supply housing? Of course, I will also need a chicken coop or two for my own sweeties. If you get a big enough spot for me, I would also like a big aviary with a nice pond, I've always wanted to get some wood ducks and maybe a pair of teals. If its far enough away from the road, some guineas would be nice. And maybe some peafowl. And quail! I just love the little top knots on the southern breeds. Of course, I will need heated housing for them for the winter, hope that's not a problem. I will assume your on-call vet would be available to me also. I'll let you know what else I'll need as I think of it-this is just so sudden and exciting, I just can't think straight.
Looking over this post, I realize I'll be way too busy to take care of your birds so you will have to hire that relief nanny right away.
While I'm waiting for you to get the coops and ponds and everything set up, could you give me vacation in advance? It would be nice to go somewhere warm for awhile. I'll also need your relief nanny to take care of my chickens while I'm gone.

I think we can work out most of the items on your list of demands. The ponds will be a tad difficult to build as I live on the most porous sand in the state. I think We could see our way to install a "cement pond" like Jed Clampert use to own, would that work for the wood ducks and teal?

I am still awaiting what the relief nanny is going to demand before I can promise you any vacation time. I can, however, understand your need for one, having recently been in Long Prairie on my way to Grey Eagle.

As I think about it, I may have to move somewhere else, I only have 13 acres here, and I am sure I am going to need at least a thousand more to house my birds after tomorrow. It would be nice if I could get at least 5,000 ft of flat level ground for my G5 to land on. Do you now of any such place available?


I am not willing to spend more than a couple million on it as I have other expenses to cover too.

 

[duluthralphie]

It is hard to believe more of you have not inquired about this position. It would be a good job.

As I said bowing and kneeling in front of me would only be once a day. If it bothers you to call me " his Highness" I am sure we can find another term of endearment.

 

[bantiesrule]

How about "his most awesomest"? That way you're not higher than us, just more awesome. We really have to figure out how to make this job more attractive, I need that relief nanny before I leave on vacation.
By the way, would it be too early to ask for a raise and maybe an advance on my pay? Once my vacation is over, I'll have to start shopping around for all my new birds.